


Null and Void

by TwoBoys2Love



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, Bottom Jared, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, First Time, Future Fic, Hurt Jared, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Hurt/Comfort, J2 AU, Jealous Jensen, Long Buildup, M/M, Protective Jared, Protective Jared Padalecki, RPF AU, Science Fiction, Supernatural RPF AU, Top Jensen, Top Jensen Ackles, UST, Virgin Jensen, Virgin Jensen Ackles, jared/jensen first time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-28
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2019-01-25 17:36:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 52,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12537452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoBoys2Love/pseuds/TwoBoys2Love
Summary: After "the Swing" in government power, the conservative-religious right takes over. Jensen doesn't really remember much of life before that. He remembers his Uncle being arrested for subversive behavior but hasn't seen him again. Jensen went to the academy and trained to become a key enforcer. He pursues and arrests people who are breaking the new laws. He arrives home from work one day to find an injured man in his quarters - Jared Padalecki... a member of the rebel group "The Blue Dove". He has stolen proof that the government is corrupt and works for... Jensen's uncle...





	1. Chapter 1

Everyone called the Enforcement Department Building, _The Church_. It looked a little like a Cathedral with its three huge towers and the central sphere. The towers were covered in energy panels so the entire place was self-contained.

The Church had the strictest communication security that was available. All correspondence of any kind was rooted through monitored portals. The entire building could be locked down, sealed and there were enough supplies inside for the staff to live comfortably for six months.

Modern technology had charged ahead in the years since _the Swing_ in spite of the fact that there were times when it felt like Society was regressing socially.

Jensen waited until the glide train stopped in front of the Church before he slid down to the path.

There was a tour group gathered near the commemorative fountain and Jensen wandered over to stand at the fringes of the group.

Jensen knew the guide; her name was Alona and she worked in the Communications Division. As a Key Enforcer, it was expected that Jensen would be familiar with all the staff at the Enforcement Department.

Alona smiled at Jensen and continued speaking to the small crowd gathered in front of her. “I’m sure you’re all familiar with the elections of 2024. In response to the terrorist attacks that destroyed the White House and the Pentagon, popular opinion changed and James Patrick Stuart became a figurehead for change. He was the leader of the Progress Party, and what might once have been referred to as the Christian-right, took over power and we entered into the historical period referred to as the Swing.”

Jensen sighed and walked over to sit down on the small wall around the fountain. He was so familiar with the history of the E.D. Three years in the Training Center and a fast track to becoming a Key Enforcer had ensured that Jensen could recite rules and history by memory.

He was too young to remember _the Swing_ first hand but he knew the outcome like everyone else did. It had been insidious at first, all Jensen remembered were hushed conversations that stopped when he entered a room, people that he’d seen every day disappeared and no one mentioned them again. It wasn’t until he was much older that he understood the full impact of the Swing.

There were the social aspects: a resurgence of support for family values, which eventually became a legal ruling against any lifestyle deemed _immoral_. Basically, everyone who acted on a sexual predilection other than heterosexual was arrested. Women’s rights were targeted indirectly after the first ten years. There was a slow and subtle _softening_ of equal rights that began with the criminalization of abortion. It was a slow, meandering process that was too subtle for most people to even protest.

The Key Enforcers dealt directly with one of the more dramatic outcomes of the Swing: the monitoring of all citizens.

Post 2028, all citizens were equipped with an _tracer_ chip. The technology accessed a person’s senses and enabled the E.D. to monitor for illegal behavior. There were a multitude of behaviors, scents, sights that would trigger an investigation and a referral to the Enforcement Department.

As a key enforcer, Jensen dealt with a far trickier criminal; he tracked down _Nulls_. A Null was a person who had their Tracer removed or altered and lived off the Grid. Potentially untraceable, the tracking and capture of Nulls was Jensen’s job. He found ways to track the untraceable, in fact, he spent much of his time undercover.

He was on a rare visit to the Church to see his supervisor, Enforcement Director Kim Rhodes.

Jensen glanced at his surroundings, realized no one was near and pressed the pad of his thumb to the small tag he wore around his neck. “Comm Center,” he began. “On Grid. Ackles, Jensen, E.D. Key Enforcer.”

-=-=-=-

Jensen headed up the long walk towards the building. As soon as the front entrance slid open, he could feel the cool, scent-less air of the secure building. He paused as the outer doors closed behind him and waited patiently. There was a slight buzzing sound and then the internal doors slid open.

“Hello there, Sir,” said a young man at the front desk. He was probably in his 20s, had a slight build. Jensen was familiar with him, they often exchanged pleasantries at the front desk. They had even discussed his father’s home in Hong Kong. Jensen had been interested in the stories Osric had listened to when he was growing up. So many lively and amazing cultures and cities had been lost when Global Climate Change had forced everyone into protected cities.

“How’s your father, Osric?”

“He’s well, Sir. Still working on his models. I’ll show you an image of the newest boat when he’s finished. In to see Director Rhodes this morning?” Osric tapped a finger on the desk in front of him and then looked up and smiled.

“Yes,” Jensen answered. He unclipped his Comm Tag from around his neck and moved it through a dark blue beam that appeared in front of him. 

“Ackles, Jensen, E.D. Key Enforcer. On Grid, 49.2827° North, 123.1207° West, E.D. Building. Meeting Rhodes, Kimberly, Director. Access granted,” said a flat voice from somewhere overhead.

Osric nodded and held his hand over the desk. The door to the small building lift swished open.

“Thanks, Osric.” Jensen walked across the lobby and stepped into the small, silver, cylindrical elevator. It spun slowly, the opening disappeared and Jensen felt the lift begin to move. In mere seconds he was on the seventeenth floor of the building. He glanced out the small portholes as he walked towards the Director’s office. He remembered when the city was constructed that no residential buildings were allowed to be built over two stories, no government buildings were taller than seventeen floors. One hundred and seventy feet up Jensen could glimpse the shimmering, white glow of the outer shell of the city.

Jensen paused outside the door to Director Rhodes’ office. He knew he was always under surveillance no matter where he was in the building so he wouldn’t wait long. He was right.

An opening appeared in front of him and Jensen stepped into the familiar meeting room. He’d been there on many occasions, for group meetings and the occasional one-on-one with Director Rhodes. She was a fair woman, strong and consistent; Jensen felt lucky to work with her.

Another opening swished to life and Jensen turned and smiled. “Good afternoon, Director.”

“Ackles, just the man I need to see,” Rhodes said as she swept into the room. She always seemed to walk with determination, always going somewhere important. Jensen often wondered if it was just part of the way she commanded authority from the people who worked with her. She was very good at her job; he could learn a lot from their ongoing working relationship.

Rhodes pulled a chair free from behind an antique, wooden desk and sat down. She waves Jensen towards a chair opposite her. “You’re well?”

“Yes, Ma’am. And you? I haven’t seen you in a while.” Jensen hadn’t been requested for an in-person meeting in quite some time. It wasn’t surprising, most of his time was spent in the field; that was far more important than meetings as far as most people were concerned.

“You’ve been busy, as has the Blue Dove.” Kim swiped her hand across the desk. It had been updated before being moved into her office, there was a glass screen on top of it. 

From where he was sitting, Jensen could see a number of files opening up in front of the Director.

“I saw the news feed on the glide train this morning. An explosion in the minor market.” Jensen knew that the information that went out on the news feed would have been curated by the Enforcement Department.

Rhodes nodded and swiped her hand to the left. “Yes, three people were killed. All civilians. The Science department has all the evidence currently. There’s been no report yet.” She swiped the files away and tilted her head to the side as she stared at Jensen.

Jensen smiled slightly and lifted his eyebrows. “Ma’am?”

“How are you doing, Jensen. You’ve been undercover for… almost a year. It’s going to be time for me to produce my yearly report for the government soon. How are things progressing?”

Jensen sighed and shook his head. “It’s slow, Ma’am. The Blue Dove is very… enigmatic.” Jensen didn’t like admitting that he was finding the terrorist group difficult to track.

“You’re the best Enforcer we have, Jensen. If you can’t track these people down then no one can.” The Director stared across her desk as she leaned back in her chair. “This new attack.”

“The one today?”

“I want you to focus on this particular incident. There was a video file released that claimed the Blue Dove was responsible for the attack.” The Director took a deep breath and folded her arms.

It was unusual for the Director to let her frustration show but it was plain as day on her face. “You have concerns?”

“Jensen, it’s just a gut instinct that the Blue Dove isn’t responsible for this.”

“Really? A second terrorist group?” It didn’t seem very likely to Jensen. From the little he’d seen of the day’s occurrence, the explosion seemed to fall squarely in the wheelhouse of the Blue Dove.

“I’m not sure. Call it a hunch.” For a few moments, Rhodes looked out the small porthole beside her desk.

When she looked back at Jensen, her gaze seemed to have an edge to it. “Focus on this latest event. Work your magic, Jensen. I want you to find irrefutable evidence that the Blue Dove is connected to this most recent attack. Am I clear?”

Jensen nodded once. “Of course, Ma’am.” Proof was the basis of Jensen’s job. The legal system was just and swift. As such, clear and concise evidence was required for a case to proceed through the justice system. “Are you concerned about my work performance, Ma’am?”

“Gods, no,” Rhodes answered. “I just want to see that the connection is made in a way that it’s clear to all involved.”

Nodding, Jensen leaned forward slightly. He was sensing an undercurrent in his superior’s request but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was.

“You’re our _very_ best, Jensen.”

Jensen’s eyes widened slightly at the use of his first name. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

“You need to know that you have my full authority to proceed in any way you see fit. Just get me proof of that link.”

“I will,” Jensen said firmly. he always did his job to the best of his ability. His career was his life. Work had been his main focus since the moment he had been old enough to apply to the E.D. Academy. “I”ll be back out in the field by tomorrow morning.”

“Alright,” The Director answered. “Thanks for stopping by.”

The dismissal was obvious in Director Rhodes’ tone. Jensen smiled and stood, then headed towards the door. It swished open and once again he was back in the hallway.

The meeting had been a strange one. It didn't really seem like anything that his Director had to say required the confidentiality of the Church. There was a possibility that the Director had just wanted to check in with Jensen, make sure that all the undercover work wasn’t taking too heavy a toll on him.

Jensen slipped into the lift again, waited as it traveled down to the main entrance and got out. He nodded at Osric and headed back outside.

The temperature was always exactly the same; no variation, no seasons, no reason to carry a jacket _just in case_. It was a perfectly controlled, managed, environment.

Jensen sighed and headed towards the glide train Station. It would only take him a few moments to get home and then he could get organized to return to the field.

It was odd; he felt more comfortable living undercover as someone other than himself.

-=-=-=-

The glide train was busy and Jensen stood near the doors. The latest terrorist bombing was the topic of the news feed that was running along the walls of the train. There were no suspects but that came as no surprise to Jensen.

Ever since the very first attack, the Blue Dove had claimed responsibility for, they’d proved to be difficult to apprehend. Jensen had brought in a few people himself, but not since he’d gone undercover.

He’d embedded himself on the outskirts of the city. The Fringe area was much more chaotic than the Central region. The housing was more inexpensive and much of the total crime in the city happened in the Fringe area. Jensen had applied for and received a small room in one of the tenement buildings. It was nothing like the suite he had in the Central region, but it did the job. He had set up an identity for himself as a runner in the Fringe; someone who sold stolen goods. Theft wasn’t common in the Central region but there were some items that were more accessible than others. Many of the best thieves had avoided receiving a tracer chip or they had, somehow, modified it so that it broadcast false locations. 

As soon as he had become a Key Enforcer, his Tracer Chip had been removed. It allowed him to move within the confines of the Fringe as one of the locals. He could move off-Grid, stay below the radar of Government tracking and walk in a different world. It took time to make inroads in a close-knit community, and Jensen knew he was in it for the long haul.

There was one step further than the Fringe… and that was the area outside the protective Dome: the Outlands. With its unregulated atmosphere, the Outlands was a hostile place. Supposedly, there were some people living in the Outlands, but Jensen wasn’t certain. The environment was not conducive to sustaining human life. Global Climate Change meant that a very limited number of species were able to survive.

So far, there had been no indication that it was necessary for Jensen to venture out into the Outlands. He had heard rumors that there were some comings and goings at some of the maintenance hatches, but nothing concrete. It was his plan to get more information before bringing it to the attention of the Director.

The glide train paused near Jensen’s building and he stepped out onto the immaculately clean street. As he walked up the path towards his residence, he nodded a greeting to someone who was leaving the building; a neighbor he had spoken to briefly when he moved in. Many of the people in the building worked for the Government, and all of them had been cleared by security.

Another security check-in at the door beeped quietly as Jensen waved his Comm Tag in front of it. The doors swished open and Jensen stepped immediately into a small elevator. He was moved quickly to the uppermost floor of the building and stepped out, pleased to be home for an evening. He was looking forward to sleeping in a comfortable bed.

As he approached his suite, the sensor recognized him and the door opened quickly. He stepped inside and turned to look out the small window.

Jensen whipped around when he heard a strange sound behind him. Before he’d even stopped moving he had pulled his weapon.

His gaze narrowed and his aim settled in the center of a broad chest. The intruder was tall, probably over six foot, his shoulders were wide and his torso slimmed down to narrow hips. His shoulder-length chestnut hair was hanging over his face and Jensen could only see the slightest hint of hazel eyes. He was leaning against the far wall, one arm across his chest, the other at his side.

Tilting his head slightly, Jensen widened his stance and reached for the Comm Tag around his neck.

“Don’t,” the intruder said softly. “Please.”

 _Please?_ That was definitely not what Jensen expected. He slid his finger down the side of the tag and aimed at the man across the room. There was a dull buzz and Jensen’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a null. You have broken into the wrong suite. Quite a feat, I might add.”

“I came to-“

“Quiet,” Jensen snapped. “Do not move a muscle or I’ll freeze you.” Jensen adjusted his grip on the weapon and pressed his thumb to the Comm Tag. “Comm Center. Back up. Ackles-”

“Jeff Morgan told me to come here. You’re Jensen Ackles,” the man said frantically. He shook his hair out of his eyes and held up trembling hands in surrender.

The name made Jensen flinch back almost imperceptibly. He hadn’t heard his Uncle’s name in years. Jensen knew all the history but his own memories of his Uncle were few and far between, made cloudy by years. But it was all public record that Jeff was arrested. Anyone could find out that he was related to Jensen. “That’s no reason for me not to call this in.”

The intruder began to look as though he was on the verge of panicking. “He. He said you were a good man. He said that if I needed help, or had no other option, I should contact you.”

Frustration tightened the muscles across Jensen’s shoulders. “My Uncle has been incarcerated since I was a child. No one sees him, you know that. Not even family is allowed to visit. He hasn’t told you anything, and that means you’re just wasting my time.” Jensen reached for his Comm Tag again.

“Fuck,” the intruder said under his breath. “Don’t freeze me when I move. I need to show you something… it’s here under my collar.”

It wasn’t the kind of thing that Jensen should be remotely curious about. But, for some reason, he couldn’t take his eyes off the slightly fox-like eyes of the intruder. There was sweat beaded on the man’s throat, his still-trembling hands had dark smears on them. Jensen frowned then nodded once.

The intruder moved slowly and deliberately, clearly worried about the weapon that was still aimed at his chest. “We all have this marked on us. Jeff said he gave you the wristband he had with the same symbol. He gave it to you the day he was apprehended.”

The man pulled his jacket aside and lifted his worn, gray shirt. The first thing that Jensen noticed was a wound just below the man’s ribs, it was a ragged cut and blood was still trickling from it. The second thing he saw was a familiar symbol that was scarred onto the man’s chest. The scars were long-healed, but Jensen _absolutely_ recognized it.

Jensen’s eyes flicked down unconsciously to the band clasped around his wrist. Both symbols were exactly the same: a star shape, embedded in a circle of flames.

Blinking a few times, Jensen took a slow, deep breath and then holstered his weapon. The intruder sighed shakily and let go of his shirt. His knees buckled briefly and he stumbled before righting himself.

“Sit,” Jensen growled. He gestured the couch that was a few steps behind the man. “And then talk.”

The man glanced over his shoulder, nodded and moved back to sit. He winced as his ass hit the couch and he leaned to the side slightly as though he was in pain. “My name is Jared. Jeff sent me to break into the Church. He needs the developmental code for the Tracers. With time, it can be rewritten with an implanted virus that will take the system down.

“That’s impossible,” Jensen said confidently. The security around the Church was impenetrable; no one had been able to get inside since the EDs inception. “Why would you even want to do that? It protects you, the Tracers protect everyone.”

Jared frowned and shook his head slightly. “Protection? You know that’s not what it’s all about. It’s all politics, right-wing religious crackpots who think that they know what’s best for all of us.”

“You are breaking the law just by spouting all these lies.” Jensen bit off each word as he drew on all of his training to keep his cool. He pressed his thumb to the Comm Tag again. “Comm Center, backup, Ackles-”

“Please. Just listen to me. You know I’m telling the truth. He _gave_ you that bracelet. We can change things with this code.” Jared’s eyes were wide and his face was quite pale. There was sweat beading across his forehead and Jensen wondered how much blood he’d lost since he was injured. 

“You and your… colleagues could undermine everything. Since the Swing, our country is more stable than it’s ever been.”

“That’s the whole point,” Jared said quickly. “We don’t even have basic freedoms and rights anymore.” Jared breathed in slowly and wiped the back of his hand across his forehead. His damp hair was finally swept clear from his face and he peered up at Jensen.

Jensen had heard all the arguments before. In training, he’d even had to defend the beliefs of the resistance during debates. The passion Jared had for his beliefs wasn’t uncommon when it came to the resistance. The Blue Dove was infamous in no small way due to the way its members were brain-washed. It appeared Jared was a prime example of that.

Jensen widened his stance subtly, prepared for any resistance from the man. Wounded or not, prisoners could be as dangerous as cornered wild animals. “I’m taking you into custody under the Security Act of 2024. Revision six requires that I-”

“-What do you do with people like me?”

Frustration was building in Jensen’s shoulders and he tensed and relaxed them. “You’ve obviously been trained by the resistance well enough to know that you’ll be taken into custody and incarcerated.”

“That’s what was supposed to happen to your Uncle,” Jared said quietly. He let his head fall back against the back of the couch and he pressed a hand over the dark red bloodstain on his shirt. “No trial, no chance to defend himself. I’ve heard Jeff tell the story _so_ many times. The resistance managed to get him out right before he was to be executed.”

“We do _not_ execute people. They’re given the option to be re-educated and fully tracered; if they refuse that then they remain incarcerated.”

Jared was already shaking his head. “You know that's not true. You must have seen the videos the Blue Dove has put out-”

“-Propaganda-”

“-it’s _not_ propaganda. It’s the truth. There’s raw footage on the info tab I have; it’s from the internal surveillance system. The files were classified but we had some help-“ Jared looked as though he had changed his mind and decided to change what he was about to say. “No one is incarcerated permanently, they’re killed. Disposed of like garbage.” Jared was panting when he lifted his head. His eyes were red-rimmed, glassy and a little wild looking.

“Enough. I’m taking you in. We’ll get you some medical attention.”

“There’s no point,” Jared said flatly. He closed his eyes for a few moments then sighed. “Jeff said you’d help; he was _so_ sure.” His voice wavered and then he was quiet. A few more seconds passed and then he slumped sideways, his eyes closed and his face went slack.

Still on guard, Jensen took a few steps forward and kicked at Jared’s boot. “Hey.”

Jared’s chest was rising and falling rhythmically but his breathing seemed quite shallow. Keeping his right hand over his weapon, Jensen leaned forward and eased the hem of Jared’s shirt up again.

The wound looked more serious up close. Blood was still trickling steadily down over Jared’s ribs. His shirt was soaked and the waistband of his pants was beginning to turn red. “God Dam-” Jensen bit down on the swear word that almost emerged and groaned.

He yanked his t-shirt off, balled it up and pressed it over the wound.

His free hand settled on his Comm Tag and he rubbed his thumb along the edge of it. He looked down at the symbol on his wristband. He’d never told anyone about the wristband. There wasn’t another person alive who knew where it had come from. Well… there was one person. “Comm Center, Status request, Ackles, Jensen, E.D. Key Enforcer: Inmate Morgan, Jeffrey Dean.”

“Morgan, Jeffrey Dean. Information classified,” said the mechanical voice.

Jensen frowned. “Repeat request. Detail request. Inmate Morgan, Jeffrey Dean.”

“Morgan, Jeffrey Dean. Information classified. Extended search requires personal clearance: Rhodes, Kim, Director E.D.” It was too late for Jensen to request access from the Director without drawing unnecessary attention to himself. It was _very_ strange though. It was rare for any of the inmate files to be locked.

Jensen groaned in frustration and swiped the tag again. “Medi Center, Harris, Danneel message from Ackles, Jensen, E.D. Key Enforcer.”

-=-=-=-

In addition to being beautiful, Danneel Harris was a remarkable woman and a brilliant physician. She and Jensen had been at the training institute at the same time and they’d hit it off immediately. The amount of trust Jensen put in their friendship surprised him sometimes, but Danneel had never let him down.

It took her sixteen minutes to get from the Medical Center to Jensen’s quarters. Jensen knew that because he had watched almost every second pass on the wall panel and wondered what the hell he was doing.

As soon as the door chime sounded, Jensen called out: “Unlock.” He heard the familiar sound of the auto-lock disengaging and then the door slid open.

Danneel was still dressed in her red medical jumpsuit and her diagnostic bag was slung across her body. She stepped inside and the door slid closed behind her.

She stood there in the doorway, her gaze moving from Jensen’s bare chest to his hand clutching the blood-soaked shirt and then settled on Jared. She reached up and gathered her long, red hair into a ponytail before walking over to the couch.

Danneel perched on the edge of the bench and pulled a scan pen out of her bag. As she took the shirt from Jensen’s hand she glanced up at him with slightly raised eyebrows. “Hello, Jensen.”

“Thank you for coming, Dani.” Jensen stood and headed over to the closet so he could get a clean shirt. As he went to reach for one he saw the blood all over his hand. He grabbed a towel from the top shelf and wiped his hands as he watched Danneel scan Jared’s wound.

“Jensen?”

“Yeah.” He pulled a clean t-shirt down over his head and returned to the couch.

“You know this man is a Null, yeah?”

“I do know that.” Jensen sat down next to Jared and reached over to hold the bloodied shirt further out of Danneel’s way.

“And he’s been seriously injured.”

“I got him like that, that’s why I commed you.

For the first time since she’s arrived, Danneel’s hand stilled as she looked across at Jensen. “Do you know what you’re doing?”

Jensen rubbed a hand back and forth across his mouth. “I don’t have a clue.”

Danneel’s eyes widened in surprise then she looked back down at the wound as she cleaned some of the blood away. “Jensen Ackles, I do believe this is the first time I’ve ever seen you look uncertain about anything.”

“Well, I haven’t decided what to do with him yet.” Jensen knew exactly what he _should_ do; he should call in immediately for an Extraction Team to come and retrieve the man beside him. There was no permanent damage so far, Danneel would back him up if he said that she just happened to stop by after work only to discover that someone had broken into Jensen’s quarters. “How the hell did he get in here?”

“You’re asking _me_ that?” Danneel smiled wryly as she placed a square, white medical patch over the wound. “That’s all I can do without taking him in. He needs an auto-healer but there are temporary stitches in.” She shrugged. Not much got by Danneel, so she had probably realized that Jensen had a bit of a dilemma on his hand.

“Right,” Jensen murmured.

Danneel adjusted the setting on the medi-pen. She pressed it to Jared’s abs and it pinged quietly. “That will keep any infection at bay and he will rest for about an hour, maybe less judging by his… size.” She reached out and squeezed Jared’s shoulder.

“Dani?”

There was a coy expression on her face when she glanced over at Jensen. “Can I ask you a question, Jen?”

“Of course. The way today is going, I can’t guarantee I’ll have any answers.” Jensen reached up to rub at the knot that had settled in the back of his neck.

Danneel pointed to Jared. “Does _this_ have anything to do with why you _still_ haven’t taken me out on that date you promised me in school?”

“This?” Puzzled, Jensen looked at the injured man on his couch and then back at Danneel. “What?”

Very deliberately, Danneel placed her hand on Jared’s chest then looked pointedly at Jensen.

Still confused, Jensen looked down at Jared again, and the way Danneel’s slight hand was curved over the muscle on the stranger’s chest. He frowned slightly and as Danneel raised an eyebrow, Jensen felt his cheeks begin to burn.

Over the years, Jensen had gotten used to Danneel, or so he’d thought. She was open-minded to a fault, a little too rebellious for her own good, and around Jensen, she had an irritating predilection for not censoring her thoughts.

Jensen shifted back slightly and clasped his hands in his lap. “I’m not interested in men, Dani. Besides, you know that’s illegal. And I don’t even _know_ this one. He was here when I came home. I don’t know why he’s here but I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”

Danneel didn’t look very convinced. “It’s only illegal to _act_ on it Mr. By-the-book. It’s not some wild breach of security to admit it to your best friend.” Her pink lips quirked into a smile and she winked.

Jensen groaned and rubbed at the burn on his cheeks. “Danneel, I have nothing to _admit_ to you.”

“Okay,” Danneel said sweetly. “Listen, I’m on Grid. If I get an info request I’ll log this visit as social.” She stood and slipped her things back into her bag.

Jensen reached out and grabbed her hand. “Thanks, Dani.”

She leaned down and kissed Jensen’s forehead. “You be careful, sweetheart, okay?”

Rather than saying anything, Jensen just nodded as he smiled up at his friend.

“Contact me, _soon_ , Jensen.” Danneel returned the smile and headed towards the door. “Bye.”

-=-=-=-

It felt very strange to have someone else in his quarters and Jensen almost regretted letting Danneel leave. He’d involved her enough in his mess though, Danneel would do anything for him and Jensen didn’t want to take advantage of that.

He paced back and forth for a while, eyes flicking over to where Jared was still lying on the couch. The Med patch was still white so, at least, the bleeding had slowed. It would really complicate things if the guy died, resistance or not.

Eventually, Jensen headed back over to the couch and stared down at Jared for a while. 

His face was a little pale, but his breathing was slow and steady. Long lashes were dark against his high cheekbones and Jensen tilted his head slightly as he stared at them. The man had an unusual face, strangely alluring. His eyes were more slanted than round, his forehead broad and there was a day’s worth of stubble growing on his strong jaw.

Hands clenched into fists at his sides, Jensen rolled his bottom lip under his teeth. He needed to get a look at the Info tab the man had spoken about.

Leaning down slowly, Jensen tugged the front of Jared’s jacket out from under his arms. He checked the front pockets and found nothing, in the inside pocket he found a small bag of dried food and a piece of paper with some coded writing on it. Jensen slipped the paper into his back pocket.

Jensen licked his lips then slid his fingers into the front pocket of Jared’s pants. He pulled out a piece of ID The photo was definitely the man in front of him, but the imprinted name was Ty Olsson. The thing was, Jensen knew Ty, and the man on his couch was _not_ Ty Olsson. Not that Jensen was surprised.

After he put the ID into his back pocket as well, Jensen checked Jared’s other pants pocket. When his fingers closed around a thin, rectangle of plastic, Jensen recognized it immediately.

He pulled the Info tab out and held it in the palm of his hand. He _really_ should see what was on it.

-=-=-=-

The Info tab fit into the reader at Jensen’s workstation easily. A couple of seconds passed and then a set of icons appeared on the white surface of the desk. There were several files that were, obviously, encrypted code. They were probably the files that Jared had been sent to retrieve.

The remaining files on the tab where video files. Jensen tapped one of the files and a small image appeared in the air in front of him.

There was a woman in restraints against a gun battle gray wall. Jensen recognized it as one of the interrogation rooms at the Church. Her long, dark hair was matted and tangled. There was blood trickling from the corner of her mouth. One of her eyes was swollen shut, and there were bruises all down the side of her neck that disappeared under the torn collar of her shirt.

From somewhere in the room, there was a voice and Jared tapped his fingers on the desk and slid them back towards his body to lower the volume. His gaze darted over to Jared to check if he was still out and he was.

The video was a standard interrogation. Jensen placed a finger against his lips and leaned closer to the image. One of the other Key Enforcers walked into the image: Mark Pellegrino. He was older than Jensen, probably due to retire soon so they hadn’t spent a great deal of time working together.

Pellegrino wasn’t high on Jensen’s list of people he trusted. There had always been something about the guy that rubbed him the wrong way. But, as Director Rhodes had said on more than one occasion, they were there to work, not make social connections.

When the woman in the video tilted her head back to look up at Pellegrino, Jensen recognized her. He’d apprehended her three months earlier, a Null named Traci Dinwiddie. She had definitely _not_ been injured when Jensen had taken her in.

“The Blue Dove _will_ be stopped in _spite_ of people like you.”

“It’s a just cause,” Dinwiddie said weakly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Pellegrino reached behind him and pulled out a handgun. Jensen sat back slightly. All handguns, rifles, shotguns, anything that shot a lethal projection had been banned in 2023. That didn’t mean that the weapons didn’t continue to be in the hands of criminals. Jensen knew there were even weapons kept in the Church for emergencies but he’d never seen an Enforcer carrying one before.

Pellegrino pressed the muzzle of the gun to the back of the woman’s head and pulled the trigger.

Jensen flinched back from the image and slapped his hand down on the desk to stop the playback.

He knew exactly what guns were capable of, he’d even fired a few in training. He’d seen people die, he’d even seen people murdered, but he’d never seen an Enforcer execute someone. The video had to be altered somehow, digitally enhanced or completely created. Jared had said that they had someone capable of recording the Tracers so they obviously had technological experts on their side. It _had_ to be false.

Blinking a few times, Jensen took a deep breath then reached out for the water bottle he’d left on the desk. There was a bitter taste in his mouth and he gulped down water to try and get rid of it.

Jensen slid his thumb along the side of his Comm Tab. “Comm Center, Status request, Ackles, Jensen, E.D. Key Enforcer: Inmate Dinwiddie, Traci.”

“Dinwiddie, Traci. Information currently unavailable,” said a mechanical sounding voice.

A few seconds passed as Jensen thought about the answer then he tapped the side of the Tab again. “Repeat request. Extended search.”

It was unusual for there to be a problem with information on someone who was incarcerated.

The Tab chimed again and Jensen took a deep breath. “Dinwiddie, Traci. Information currently unavailable. Extended search requires personal clearance: Pellegrino, Mark.” Two inmate statuses in one night and both with a security clearance that was above Jensen’s. There was definitely something going on. There weren’t a lot of times when Jensen actually wanted to swear, but this was definitely one of them. 

There were about twenty more video files on the Info tab and Jensen needed to look at every single one of them. It would take time.

-=-=-=-

There was a headache pounding in Jensen’s skull and his eyes ached. He had watched every one of the files on the Info tab. On the surface, it sure seemed like Jared had been telling the truth, the people from the resistance who were suspected members of the Blue Dove were being executed on the video recordings.

If Jared was right, there were no trials, no investigations, no chances at rehabilitation. The suspects weren’t offered an opportunity to be tracered. They were being slaughtered.

The problem was that he’d been seeing propaganda from the Blue Dove his entire life. The Video services were full of news about the resistance and often clips of their videos were shown. Some of them were blatantly false. They showed people that Jensen knew personally, people he knew hadn’t been in the locations they were depicted. No one had ever been able to trace where the videos came from but Jensen was certain they were created by people like Jared.

But what if it was true. What if the one in a million chance was true and the videos he’d seen were actually accurate representations of what happened to some of the people that Jensen had brought in.

He reached up and picked up the Comm Tab where it hung around his neck. He’d slipped Jared’s Info Tab into the back of it and hated the feel of it against his chest. He wished he’d never seen the damn thing.

From where he was sitting near the window, he could see Jared stir. The meds must finally be wearing off.

Jensen stood and tilted his head to the side to try and loosen the tension in the back of his neck. It wasn’t very often that he found himself without a plan but he had no idea what he was about to do. He had a lot of theories, a completely unreliable, injured suspect and no facts. He was used to being able to put the pieces of a puzzle together in a way that made sense.

“What happened?” Jared’s voice was gravelly and his brow was furrowed as he squinted across at Jensen.

Jensen picked up a new water bottle and walked over to sit beside Jared. He held out the bottle and waited for Jared to take it. “You passed out.”

When Jared tried to sit up, He winced and tugged his shirt up to slid his hand over the Med patch. His eyes flicked up to Jensen’s and he looked a little panicked.

“I had a friend patch you up. She did what she could without taking you in,” Jensen explained. “Drink.”

Jared rubbed his hand over the patch gingerly for a few moment, his eyes fixed on Jensen’s again. “You haven’t turned me in?”

“Not yet,” Jensen answer quickly. He’d definitely been trying to decide what to do, but the video files had thrown a wrench in everything.

The water bottle glinted in the sun that was coming through the small window. When he finally took his hand away from the Med patch, Jared pushed his hair back off his face.

It was the first time Jensen had seen the man’s eyes clearly. His eyes were a very strange color, green and gold at the same time. His skin was pale, looked smooth and there were a few moles like a constellation on his face. His nose curved up just a little at the end, his jaw strong and set rather stubbornly at the moment. “What happens to me now?”

“Honestly, I haven’t made up my mind yet. You _are_ a criminal and you should be incarcerated.” The words left Jensen’s tongue smoothly. It was an unshaken belief that he’d had since his days at the Academy. There was a _way_ the world worked, an order to things that kept everything stable, and calm. For the first time since his training began, Jensen was uncertain about how things should unfold; it was a very unpleasant and unfamiliar feeling for Jensen.

Jared pushed himself a bit more upright and began to casually search through his pockets.

Jensen leaned in closer and picked up the Comm Tab around his neck. He flipped it over in his fingers so Jared could see the Info Tab. “Looking for this?”

Holding out a trembling hand, Jared’s frown deepened. “That - I need that.”

“What are you going to do with it?” Jared lowered his hand slowly and dropped his gaze to the water bottle in his other hand.

“What were _you_ going to do with it?”

Jared sighed, leaned back then winced and shifted slightly. “I need to take it to Jeff. I told you, that’s the code for the tracers and the videos.”

“Right,” Jensen said. “You want to undermine the entire program and the security of the free world -”

“- the free world? There’s nothing free about it. All the important decisions are made for us. There are rules against people being who they want to be.”

“That’s not true. It’s all propaganda you’ve been subjected to. Our country is safe and ordered.” Jensen could feel his temper beginning to simmer away. There might be some laws that Jensen would alter slightly, but he could see that the legal system worked.

“The world shouldn’t _be_ like this,” Jared spat. “It’s wrong. _God_ , there’s so much wrong with it… it’s… it’s insane.” He huffed and set the water bottle down on the table in front of him so he could fold his arms across his chest. “What about women who aren’t allowed in certain professions. Their children are taken away from them if they -”

“- If they commit a crime or are unable to take care of their children. It’s good, Jared. It makes things better for a lot of people.”

A sharp laugh burst out of Jared. “What about gay men? Lesbians? Transgender people? How many people have to live a lie every day so they don’t get ripped away from their loved ones or just locked up until they’re shot in the back of the head?” When he finally finished speaking, Jared was panting slightly. His eyes were wide and glassy and his hands were clenched tightly into fists.

“Calm down,” Jensen said firmly. The last thing he needed was for Jared to get so worked up that his wound began to bleed again and everything got even more complicated.

“You really can't see how fucked up this country is?” There were deep furrows etched into Jared’s brow and his cheeks were flushed.

The way Jensen’s mind was reeling from the videos files he’d seen, he felt far less certain about everything than he ever had before. But, he had more questions that needed to be answered. He just had to do his job and get to the bottom of what was going on. “ _What_ were you planning to do with the information?”

There was a muscle twitching in Jared’s jaw and his teeth were clamped down on his bottom lip. After about twenty seconds of uncomfortable silence, Jared just squared his shoulders and shook his head.

They were getting nowhere fast and the time was fast approaching for Jensen to choose a course of action. He lifted the Comm Tag again. “Comm Center, Ack -”

“Wait,” Jared said quietly.

Holding up the Comm Tag, Jensen raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly.

The glare on Jared’s face was intense and Jensen was pretty sure he could feel the man’s eyes burning into him. Jensen became completely aware of the fact that Jared was a substantial man. He was the taller of the two of them, had broader shoulders and he was fit. They would probably be pretty evenly matched in a fight. Jensen’s hand to hand combat training might be his only advantage. He sat forward slightly, readying himself.

“I need to get it back to Jeff.”

The Comm Tab was still flashing in Jensen’s hand; he waited.

“There’s a guy back… home. I need to get the code back for him to work on. Jeff will deal with the videos.” Jared’s shoulders slumped slightly and the muscles in his throat worked as he swallowed.

“Cancel.” Jensen let go of the tag and it slipped back inside his shirt. “So. You’re supposed to get back to your _headquarters_.”

After a deep breath, Jared looked up and met Jensen’s gaze. He nodded once.

It was hard for Jensen to read Jared’s expression. It had been twenty years since Jensen had seen his Uncle. All his memories of the man were murky and piecemeal. He could remember Jeff’s smile, the way his leather jacket squeaked under his small fingers. When his Uncle had picked him up. Dark eyes, he remembered dark eyes and the way Jeff had crouched down in front of Jensen when he’d fastened the too-big leather band around Jensen’s tiny wrist.

Jensen leaned forward, “Where is he?”

Jared’s eye widened slightly. “You think I’m stupid?”

“I _think_ that the _only_ way this Info Tab is going anywhere is with me. The only way _Jeff_ is going to get this is if I put it in his hand.” It was a huge risk. But, Jensen hadn’t come so close to the Blue Dove in the entire time he’d been an Enforcer.

Already shaking his head, Jared blinked his eyes slowly. “No.”

“You have two choices, Jared. You take me and this information to _Jeff_ , or we stay here and I take you in.” Jensen slid his hand up his thigh closer to his holster as slowly as he could. “And, in case you’re even thinking about trying to get my Comm Tag: it’s E.D. issue and it’s keyed to my DNA.”

“He said we could trust you,” Jared said quietly. He looked down at his boots and took a few deep breaths.

For some reason, Jared’s words _meant_ something to Jensen. If there was the slightest possibility that Jared actually knew his Uncle, that would potentially change everything. “I don’t lie, Jared. I’m a man of my word.”

“If I take you there, will you turn us in?” Jared’s gaze was intense like he was trying to read Jensen, get some kind of clues to what he might decide.

There was no way Jensen could have predicted the way the day would unfold. The unfamiliar feeling of uncertainty was back and Jensen didn’t like it. “I don’t know.”

One of Jared’s fists opened slowly and he reached up to slide his fingers into his hair. He was chewing on his bottom lip again. His eyes were locked on Jensen’s. Finally, he lowered his hands and clasped them tightly together. “Alright.”

“We’ll leave in a few hours,” Jensen said.

“Have you ever been to the Outland?”

“No.” In fact, Jensen had never even considered a trip to the Outland. Unless he had ever managed to infiltrate the Blue Dove undercover he had no way of finding his way through the maze of ruins outside the City Containment area. It wasn’t considered a place that people went willingly.

Pressing his lips together, Jared leaned back and shook his head slowly.

At least Jensen had a course of action.

-=-=-=-

As soon as Jared had a little color back in his cheeks, Jensen made him sit down against the wall. He took out a cuff strip and adhered it to the man’s wrists then made sure that the cuff strip on his ankles was attached to the hook that was anchored to the wall. He’d never had a reason to use it before even though they were installed in the suites of all Key Enforcers. It was never the goal to take people into custody at home.

He didn’t bother with a gag. He knew that there would be _no_ advantage whatsoever to Jared attracting attention. He definitely didn’t want to be arrested so he wouldn’t be trying to contact the neighbors. As for the internal communications; Jensen shut all that down before he left.

It took him less than fifteen minutes to get to the Church. He logged in to the Supply Department and retrieved the equipment they would need. 

A trip to the Outlands was _not_ something he had planned on but there were huge possibilities and the stakes were high. Jensen’s working theory was that Jared had been sent to gather the intel the Blue Dove wanted and that _Jensen_ was part of that intel. Bringing _home_ a Key Enforcer would be a coup. What they wouldn’t have counted on was the fact that Jensen would be ten steps ahead of them at every turn.

He would have limited ability to Communicate once they were outside the Dome. He would commit what he could to memory, record what he could and wait for a chance to contact the E.D. Of course, he would be armed and he would be ready for whatever might be thrown at him.

Everything they needed was available and the system was fully automated so there was no one to explain anything to.

Before long, Jensen had gathered a tent capsule, a fire cartridge, Hydration pills, a Field Medical Kit, a perimeter alarm, two rebreathers and the clothing that Jared had recommended.

Jensen hadn’t been outside the Dome but he was familiar with the garb that was required. It was a hostile environment. The atmosphere was toxic unless exposure was kept to a minimum. The rebreathers would filter the air they breathed with only minor inconvenience and there was medication in the med kit that would lower the radiation in their blood. A rebreather was another piece of equipment that Jensen had only used in training.

When Jensen finally made it back to his suite Jared had fallen asleep. As much as he wanted to question the man, he was also conscious of the fact that he was injured. In the morning they would be leaving on a trek that would be a challenge for a healthy individual. Jared seemed fit but it was difficult for Jensen to gauge how the wound would affect him.

Jared's estimation was that it would take them three days of walking at a steady pace to get to their _destination_. He was very tight-lipped about where that destination was, or what was located there beyond Jeff.

Once the gear was packed into two backpacks, Jensen tapped the replicator panel to procure some food for them. The nutritional bars they were taking with them would provide adequate nourishment, but they weren't very satisfying in terms of flavor.

"You're back."

Unaccustomed as he was to having another person in his suite, Jensen spun quickly at the sound of Jared's voice. "I have everything."

As Jared struggled to sit up he looked over at the backpacks. "Those seem pretty small."

"I have everything we need to survive." Small talk wasn't on Jensen's list of things he most wanted to do. But if he was going to get any information from Jared, he was going to have to use some finesse. "How are you feeling?"

When Jared looked up, he was frowning. "I'm in pain and sitting like this is uncomfortable."

It seemed Jared could be straightforward when he wanted to be. Now, if Jensen could just re-focus that he might have a chance of getting some intel.

He headed over to the corner where Jared was sitting. "I'm sorry about leaving you like this but I'm sure you understand the necessity of it."

"Can't have your prisoner getting away while you're out _shopping_. Jared averted his gaze when Jensen knelt down beside him.

“This isn’t supposed to be a _pleasant_ experience,” Jensen said as he loosened the cuff strips and held his hand out to help Jared back up to his feet.

Scowl firm on his face, Jared struggled to stand on his own. “Is it okay with you if I sit on your couch or would you like me to stay on the floor?”

“The couch is fine.” Jensen stepped back and rested his hands on his hips. “How did you get injured?”

As Jared lowered himself to the couch, he winced. “I was trying to get over a security fence quickly. I did, but I got caught up at the top of it.”

No further explanation was necessary. The security fences were very sharp at the peak for obvious reasons. They were also serrated which explained the ragged edge of Jared’s wound. 

“Is your fake ID still valid?”

“As far as _I_ know,” Jared muttered. “Shouldn't _you_ be able to check that?”

There had been no security updated, the breach had _somehow_ gone unreported so far. “How did you bypass the security at the Church?”

Sliding his arm across his wounded torso, Jared frowned. “I’m not telling you a damn thing. You want information you can ask _Jeff_ when we get to him.”

Jensen had suspected as much but it never hurt to try and catch people off guard. “Rest for an hour then we leave.”

Still frowning, Jared nodded and slumped back against the couch.

-=-=-=-

Jensen didn’t sleep but he kept an eye on Jared as he napped fitfully. After battling with himself for a while, he sent an encrypted, private message to Director Rhodes. He explained the situation and asked her to keep the break-in quiet. He requested five days to get whatever information he was able to get before everything was locked down at The Church. Clearly, there was still an insider at work and Jensen wanted to be able to root them out. He chose his wording carefully and didn’t reveal that he would be traveling to the Outlands. After careful consideration, he also left out that Jared would be accompanying him. It wasn’t something he was certain about, but his instinct was to keep as much information to himself as was possible.

He had almost sent the message when he edited it to include a request for the security lock on his Uncle's file to be released. It was unlikely that he would receive any additional information before they left but he might be able to access the file once they were on the go. That was if the satellite access was actually available. Much of Jensen’s knowledge of the Outlands was theoretical but he was willing to take a chance. The possible outcome was worth the risk.

Before waking Jared, he signed off the Grid and noted that he would be gone for seven full days. He accessed the schedule for the glide train and found out which Transpo train would be heading towards the Fringe region of the Dome. After that, they would be on foot and heading for a maintenance exit. 

Once Jensen was satisfied that he had covered all the details he woke Jared.

“Get up,” he said from beside the couch. “It’s time.”


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen had been to the Fringe region many times, but he always worked alone. He had _never_ ventured into the Outlands before.

There were no air reprocessors, no temperature levelers, very little shelter and everyone was looking out for themselves _only_. He hesitated a fraction of a second as he and Jared stepped through the maintenance hatch. They had waited until the aerial guard had passed by, then slipped silently through.

The bitter tasting, hot air, took Jensen’s breath away instantly. He coughed as he squinted in the stark, bright landscape.

“Use your rebreather,” Jared said in a low voice. He fitted his dark glasses tight to his face then pulled a long scarf around his neck and draped it over his shoulders.

“You’re not wearing one,” Jensen answered. “Why?” Jensen struggled to try and figure out how to anchor the scarf across his face as he let the rebreather adhere to his cheek. The first breath of cool, clean air was a relief.

“Don’t need it all the time.” After staring at Jensen for a while, Jared reached over and grabbed the end of Jensen’s scarf to untangle it and start wrapping it again.

Jensen held his chin up to try and avoid contact with Jared’s rapidly moving fingers. “How long have you been living out here?”

Frowning, Jared slung the scarf over Jensen’s right shoulder and pulled it forward over his left. “Long enough.”

“Were you born inside?” It was Jensen’s nature to be curious. He managed to work really well undercover because he researched every detail. His safety always depended on accuracy.

“We’re not out here to become friends; I’m in custody, remember?” Anger glinted in Jared’s eyes and he stepped back quickly.

Jensen wasn't surprised. Even since they had left Jensen’s quarters, Jared’s mood had soured. He was definitely tense, guarded but Jensen had expected it. That didn’t mean he would go along with it. “How’s your side?”

“Fine.” Without waiting for Jensen, Jared strode away from the hatch as it closed behind them.

“Good talk,” Jensen muttered under his breath as he followed along.

Their route and destination were in Jared’s hands. There was an uneasy truce between them, and Jensen wasn’t sure how long it would last or how much pressure it could take.

 _If_ they made it as far as Jared’s home base, if they stayed together that long then Jensen had no idea what would happen. He had no idea if he was actually hiking towards a reunion with his Uncle and, even if it happened, Jensen had no idea what that would entail.

Jeff might not be the man Jensen remembered. Hell, he might not even be Jensen’s Uncle. The problem was that Jensen had always been curious. He’d become an Enforcer because he liked the idea of _solving_ cases. He’d leaped at the chance to become a Key Enforcer and work undercover. It was interesting work and Jensen had never regretted it.

As he followed along behind Jared, Jensen thought about the fact that he was well entrenched in his first transgression. He’d never been a rule-breaker before. He believed in the value of rules. He’d read all the history when he’d been in training. The changes that had been brought in had stabilized a _very_ unstable society.

The Blue Dove… people like Jared… they were trying to dismantle all the security. Grudgingly, Jensen could admit that he could see some value in changing some regulations. But propaganda, attacks… the _terrorism_ that the Blue Dove perpetuated was dangerous.

It was complex. And as Jensen marched along behind Jared, he tried not to keep running over and over things in his mind.

He’d spent the first couple of hours looking around. After the shock wore off, Jensen began to take in how completely different the Outlands were. Reading about it was one thing, seeing it with his own eyes was completely different.

For some reason, Jensen had always thought that the Outlands would be like walking through abandoned towns and cities, but it was much worse than that.

They might be walking through an unoccupied area, but it was eerie.

Global Climate Change, yes, the thing that the Government had been so adamant didn’t exist had been _very_ real.

When the temperature had begun to change the government had launched a project to build Domed cities. It had come to fruition far too late for many communities… for many people.

They were walking through what remained of a small town. The place looked like it had been ravaged by battle. The structures that were still partly standing were crumbling as the savage climate took its toll.

Old style vehicles with biodegradable plastic looked like melted sculptures, miniature plastic mountains creating brand new terrain. Housing modules were sandblasted, their metallic siding dull and damaged. All of the walking paths were crumbled and where there once must have been plants and trees, there was nothing but dried skeletons of branches and stems.

It was a hostile wasteland. Jensen had never imagined there had been such complete destruction. Intellectually, he knew that humans could no longer survive in the Outlands, at least, that’s what he had thought.

“How do you manage to stay alive out here?”

Jared paused when he heard Jensen’s question. He glanced over his shoulder then kept trudging forward. “Adaptation.”

Jensen adjusted the rebreather on his cheek. “Humans generally don’t adapt very well to change, societal _or_ environmental.” Jensen kept an eye on his boots as he followed Jared over a small mountain of debris. He stopped rather suddenly when he ran into Jared’s motionless body.

Without thinking, Jensen lifted a hand and pressed it to the scarf that was wrapped around Jared’s chest so he could steady himself. When he looked up, Jared’s expression was steely.

“Sorry.” Jensen snatched his hand back quickly and stepped back slightly.

“Are you an android?”

“What?”

“Are you an android?”

“No,” Jensen answered indignantly.

Jared shrugged a shoulder and began climbing again. “You sound like one sometimes.”

Jensen laughed softly and fell into step behind Jared. “Why do you say that?”

Jared shrugged again. “The damn emotionless way you speak. You’re so precise. You sound almost like you’re reading from a training manual sometimes.”

The man might have a point. A lot of what Jensen knew about the Outlands and people, in particular, came directly from his training. It didn’t mean it was inaccurate. “Learning to research is the key to undercover work.”

“You don’t even swear,” Jared muttered.

“Technically, it’s against the law. If I want to keep my position I have to make an effort to uphold the laws.” There had been occasions when Jensen swore, he was human. And it was a minor law… but undercover that had been a different matter.

Jared stopped again and turned to look down at Jensen. “Do you realize how stupid it is to have laws governing whether or not people can swear?”

“Sometimes, it’s more to do with the optics of a thing.”

“The optics of swearing?” Jared huffed and began walking again. “Exactly my point.”

Frowning, Jensen shook his head slightly. “Think what you like but there’s nothing wrong with me doing research _or_ abiding by the law.”

Jared made a sound that Jensen chose to interpret as agreement.

“So. How do you not need a rebreather? Just being used to it? The atmosphere doesn’t have enough oxygen.” In light of Jared’s criticism, Jensen refrained from giving the exact breakdown of gases in the Outlands.

“Jeff and the science team figured out that we could become acclimatized if we followed a certain routine. Like climbing a mountain or something. I sometimes, wear one at night and I've vaccinated again some of the poisons.” There wasn’t a break in Jared’s pace as he spoke.

“And where did you all find shelter?”

“We didn’t _find_ shelter; we built it. You’ll see soon enough.” When he jumped down the other side of a small debris mountain Jared completely disappeared from sight.

When Jensen jumped down, he stumbled forward and felt Jared’s firm grip on his arm.

“Try not to kill yourself, Enforcer.”

There was _nothing_ at all pleasant in Jared’s tone or expression. Jensen sighed, smiled slightly and withdrew his arm slowly.

It was going to be a very long journey.

-=-=-=-

There was no way for Jensen to accurately record how far they had traveled. The radiation in the atmosphere interfered with all the functions of his Comm Tag and contact with the remaining global satellites was sporadic at best. It was never quite long enough for him to document anything.

His body told him that he’d walked many miles. He made a point of staying fit, but he was worn by the time Jared suggested that they should stop.

He wouldn't admit it, but Jensen was glad. When he looked around he could see that the sun was already setting. They were in an open space near the edge of the crumbling and twisted remains of a forest. At least, that’s what Jensen thought it was.

Jared took a knee beside Jensen. He didn’t bother looking up as he started to clear a spot where they were. “I’ll get the fire going.”

“Heat?” Eyes widening, Jensen loosened his scarf so that he could wipe the sweat that was making his brow itchy. He’d assumed they would only use the fire cartridge for cooking.

“As soon as the sun hits the horizon, the temperature is going to drop so fast your head will spin.”

Another effect of Global Climate change; Jensen should have remembered. But, he’d spent most of the day trying to absorb things around them, remember what he could of their trail.

He was also studying Jared. The problem was that Jared played his cards close to his chest. It made sense; he had been indoctrinated by the Blue Dove. He’d probably been drilled about how to list off his rank and serial number rather than giving up any _real_ information.

Jensen slid his backpack off and unzipped the top pouch so he could pull out the tent. It was an unusual request for him to make but the Enforcement Department was used to Jensen. There was no chance anyone would have thought he was headed to the Outlands; although it made a lot of sense. The perfect place for the Blue Dove to hide was the one place that no one in their right mind would want to go.

“Why so quiet?”

It was the first time that Jared had actually initiated conversation. Jensen unfolded the small tent capsule and tossed it onto the ground. “You didn’t seem all that interested in what I was saying before.”

Jared eyed the tent as he picked up some rocks to put around the small fire container. He looked around the small metal circle then touched the edge of it. A flame popped out of the center.

Jared rolled back on his heels and sat down on his ass in the coppery colored sand.

When Jensen tapped the toe of his boot to the side of the tent capsule, it opened and began to take shape.

“You have a gadget for everything,” Jared muttered.

“There weren’t many options for tents. It’s not like people come out here.”

“You’d be surprised,” Jared said as he held a bone-dry twig in the middle of the brightest flame.

Interest piqued, Jensen checked to make certain the tent was stable, then he sat down opposite Jared. “Are there many people with you out there?”

Jared lifted his gaze without moving his head. “You can make me take you there because the information is important, but you won’t see anything else, or know anything else unless Jeff wants you to.”

“You gonna give him the secret signal when we get close?” Jensen smiled smugly. He couldn’t help it, Jared was being very stubborn.

“He already knows,” Jared said firmly. He turned his attention back to the stick he was running through the flames.

It all made sense to Jensen. If there was an important gathering place for the resistance, there would be sentries, some sort of early warning system. “How much longer?”

It looked as though Jared was considering staying silent, then he sniffed and adjusted his scarf away from his mouth. “We’ll be out here three nights. Possibly three more days of hiking.”

Jensen nodded but he knew he didn’t have any more information really. Jared could be taking them on the most circuitous route possible and Jensen wouldn't know until he got there.

The air was already cooling off, Jensen could feel it on his cheeks. There was a cool breeze whipping past the outcropping of rock they had settled behind.

When Jared leaned back he winced and sucked in a quick breath.

“How’s the wound?”

“Sore,” Jared growled. “You’re making me hike the day after I…” He shook his head and adjusted his jacket. 

“I’ll change the bandage before we go to sleep.” Jensen gestured towards the tent.

“You expect me to sleep in there with you?” Jared’s eyes widened slightly.

“You think I’m going to let you sleep out here, or in your own tent so you can just disappear in the night? I’m a Key Enforcer, not a playground Supervisor.” Jensen was getting a little irritated. It had been a very long day and Jared’s mood was getting annoying. Jensen had given the man a very generous benefit of the doubt so far.

“Jeff said you’d help me, not take me hostage.”

“I _am_ helping you. Anytime you want to turn back and let me take you in - that’s fine with me.” Jensen crossed his legs and pulled a small nutrition bar of his pocket.

“You want to take down the Blue Dove.”

“I want to stop terrorists.”

“The work that we do is important,” Jared snapped. “There has to be a counterbalance to the rhetoric that is spewed by all of the right-wing assholes.”

Rather than letting himself be baited into an argument, Jensen took a deep breath and stared into the fire. “Jared, the elections all take place fairly and transparently. People voted the current government in as they’ve voted in every government since the _Swing_.

The expression on Jared’s face darkened. “You know as well as I do those people were terrified. When the White House was attacked, people were so terrified they were in a tailspin. The party took advantage of that. It played off people's fears. _That’s_ how they got elected, there was nothing _fair_ about it.”

“You can think what you like about the past, Jared. The facts tell a different story.” Jensen took another bite of the nutrition bar and frowned at it when the taste failed to get any better.

“Facts?” Wide-eyed with flushed cheeks, Jared fixed his gaze on Jensen. “Like the fact that you incarcerate people like me. Oh wait, you don’t, you fucking _execute_ them.”

“Jared.” As calm as Jensen usually managed to stay, there was a line that Jared was quickly approaching.

“Is _murder_ a better way to put it? If that doesn’t work for you, how about killing?” Jared’s lips were curled into a sneer as he leaned forward.

“Enough!” Jensen threw the remainder of the nutrition bar into the small fire. He’d seen the video files so he knew exactly what Jared was talking about. Somehow… there had to be some kind of explanation though. The videos looked real; the blood, the way the flesh split open. But… it would mean that _so_ many people had lied. Jensen just couldn’t get his mind wrapped around the fact that there could be so much corruption.

“You actually trying to think up an explanation?” Jared looked a little pleased with himself.

“Shut. Up.” The line had come up faster than Jensen had expected. Jared had joined the very small and select group of people who had managed to get under his skin.

When Jared opened his mouth again, Jensen flipped open his holster. “You say another word about it and I swear I will freeze you.”

The glare on Jared’s face spoke volumes, but he stayed silent. That was probably a good thing.

-=-=-=-

Once they weren’t speaking to each other anymore, time seemed to drag its feet. While keeping an eye on Jared, Jensen tried to keep himself occupied. He set up the perimeter alarm, took some image captures of their immediate surroundings, tested some of the soil with the Comm Tag and recorded a break down of an air sample. Any information he could gather would be useful to the environmental department. It had been a long time since the government had funded a risky research mission to the Outlands. There had been many claims that there was no point in continuing to waste funds on the science of the already-destructed.

As far as Jensen knew, there had been no one in the Outlands since the cities had been closed off. There were protected routes of transport that linked all of the major cities but it was impossible to see very much. The plastic the tunnels were constructed with was pitted and discolored from the degraded atmosphere.

There was no reason for anyone to risk their life by traveling through the Outlands. Jensen just hoped that their exposure wouldn’t cause any permanent damage.

They were being exposed to five times the amount of radiation that a human body could tolerate, and the air quality was terrible. It was a good time for Jensen’s faith in science to be proven true.

Jensen glanced over at Jared where he was still crouched beside the fire. Each time he breathed out, a plume of fog passed his lips. The temperature had already dropped over 20 degrees since they had stopped to set up camp. It would get even colder.

After a few deep breaths, Jensen headed back over to where Jared was sitting. He looked up and wiped some dust from his face as his gaze found Jensen in the dusky light. “We need to put the fire out. Once it’s dark it can be seen for miles.”

“Seen? By whom?”

“By whom or what… There are others out here and we don’t want to attract any unwanted attention.”

“Others?” Jensen walked over and stood near the fire. He could feel the warmth on his legs even through his gear.

“People who aren’t with the Blue Dove,” Jared answered quietly. He leaned down and held his hands over the flames. “And not all creatures had trouble with the climate change.”

It had occurred to Jensen that there might be other people in the Outlands. If Jared had managed to survive, and he clearly had, then other people would have learned to adapt. There could be other groups working together. It was all a big unknown. For some reason, he hadn’t considered any other creatures, but it made sense.

“The camel spiders are huge,” Jared said with a slightly disgusted look on his face.

“We should get settled inside then. Get some sleep,” Jensen said. He couldn't help looking down at the ground around his boots and he pulled his scarf tighter around his neck to combat the cool air. “Did you eat?”

Jared shook his head.

Jensen _had_ been watching him, Jared hadn’t moved from the fire since he’d sat down. His injury was probably bothering him more than he was letting on. “Pack up the fire, and once we’re inside the tent, I’ll change the bandage.”

“It’s fine,” Jared said quickly.

“Do you have to argue with me about everything?” Jensen was tired of the constant resistance he got from Jared. The guy wouldn't even give him an inch.

“I’m not arguing. I just. I don’t need your help.” The flames flickered, then disappeared when Jared reached out and tapped the side of the fire cartridge.

Shaking his head, Jensen decided to just go to the tent. He undid the front entrance and ducked inside, his pack was just inside and he pulled out the two sleep sacks. He slid both rolls open and tossed them onto the floor of the tent so they could inflate. He’d never had to use one before but they were rated for cold temperatures. The bags were used by the repair crew when they had to work on the city Dome seals.

“Let’s go, Jared.” Jensen wasn’t stupid. He wasn’t heading into the tent until Jared was settled inside. It would be tempting fate to do otherwise in the approaching darkness.

As Jensen watched, he took note of the fact that it took Jared a couple of attempts to get to his feet. Even though he was trying to hide it, it was obvious that the slash on his torso was giving him grief.

Jensen had wondered how all the walking would affect Jared’s ability to heal. Danneel had done a great job cleaning the wound but it was just covered with a Med patch. Without the auto-healer at the hospital, it was a bit of a gamble.

Jensen shifted to the side when Jared finally made it to the tent. The tent was about seven feet long and five feet wide and once Jared had stepped inside it looked about half that size.

Rather than watching Jared, Jensen sealed the tent and took his rebreather off. He tapped the atmosphere panel by the door seal and fresh air began filtering into the tent.

“You’ll never get used to the air out there if you use that.” Jared’s voice was muffled by the scarf as he began to unravel it. When he finally managed to pull it free, he folded it and set it down at the top of his sleep sack like a pillow.

“I don't need to get used to it. I’m not planning to spend much time out here. And this way you don’t have to wear your rebreather at night.” 

A plan wasn’t actually what Jensen would call what he had in mind. What he needed was to find out about _Jeff_. It seemed like some kind of joke that Jensen’s own Uncle would be the leader of the Blue Dove. It was just the kind of information that could be used to draw a Key Enforcer in.

“Look. Stop being an ass and just listen. Turn that off and do some breathing with your rebreather turned down to quarter efficiency. It will make it easier for you to walk as you get used to it.” Jared looked less frustrated than he had earlier but he didn’t look happy.

“Tomorrow I’ll do that. Tonight, I need to look at your side.” Jensen was done talking about rebreathers.

For once, Jared didn’t seem to feel the need to argue. He knelt down and folded up his scarf before pulling his shirt off and laying down on his sleep sack.

When Jensen managed to lift the edge of the Med patch, he could see that Jared’s wound was still bleeding. It wasn’t enough to cause a big problem but Jensen was willing to bet that Jared had been in pain for most of the day.

“We shouldn’t have walked so much today,” Jensen muttered as he peeled the patch the rest of the way off.

“I’m fine,” Jared said stiffly. The moment he’d said it, he winced.

Jensen sighed and stared at Jared knowingly. In spite of the desire to do otherwise, Jensen swallowed all his snarky comments and began to clean the wound.

“It doesn’t look infected,” Jensen said. “But, we’re not walking as much tomorrow.”

“What do you care?” There was a stiff set to Jared’s shoulders as he lay there. Obviously, he didn’t want Jensen touching him but, he had no other choice.

Choosing to ignore Jared’s question, Jensen reached behind him and retrieved a clean Med patch. “I won’t bother asking you if you want more pain medication.”

Glaring, Jared shook his head.

“You’ll be fine. You need some rest though.” Jensen sat back on the softness of his sleep sack. He watched as Jared pulled his own sleep sack up over the fresh bandage.

“You’re staring,” Jared muttered.

“I’m looking, there’s a big difference.” Jensen had had just about enough of Jared’s attitude.

“Well, stop.”

“Grow up,” Jensen snapped.

Eyes widening slowly, Jared continued to stare up at Jensen. Finally, he licked his lips and shifted down slightly.

Jensen turned into his own sleep sack and tapped it open. He tried not to keep flipping his gaze towards Jared’s face. He couldn’t help being curious; he hadn’t had many opportunities to look at Jared.

“Can you _please_ stop staring at me?”

 _No._ He really didn’t want to but he would. Jared was a mixture of things. His features were light, free, and at first glance, he looked like the kind of guy Jensen would see running at the track. But, there was heaviness about his bearing, even as he lay there, as though he carried an invisible weight.

“What?” Jared asked suddenly. “Are you trying to analyze me or something?”

There was actually a worried frown on Jared’s face and it made Jensen feel a little more confident. “Thinking.”

“About?” For once, Jared didn’t turn away. He almost looked like he might want to hear what Jensen was going to say… _almost._

“I’m wondering what makes someone like you get involved with the Blue Dove.” It had been in Jensen’s mind since he’d discovered Jared’s identify. Why would he take the risks he had? He was tall, fit, attractive, and he seemed intelligent. He could probably have any career he wanted. He could have a normal life.

“Haven’t you been listening to everything I’ve been saying? All the rights that have been taken away from people? Even _you_ must be able to see that.”

“Even _me_?” Jensen rolled over onto his side so he could see Jared more clearly.

“Yeah. You’re. You’re a _company_ man. Obviously, a fully fledged member of the _Progress_ Party.” Jared’s lips curved into a sneer as though he could smell something foul.

 _Interesting_. In fact, Jensen wasn’t political at all. He did his job and he did it _very_ well but that didn’t involve any extra political activity. Most of the members of the Progress Party seemed pretty shady. Jensen knew he could read people, it was a skill he had honed over the years. He didn’t want anything to do with shifty politicians; the world was complicated enough.

Jared sniffed and rubbed a hand over his hair. “What? No argument.”

“I don’t involve myself in politics. I do my job. I’m good at it.” Jensen took a deep breath of the clean air; his lungs were really enjoying it. “You didn't really answer my question.”

“Yes, I did.”

Jensen shook his head. “People need personal reasons when they make a commitment that puts their safety at risk. No one just endangers themselves for the good of humankind.”

“That’s pretty sceptical.”

“It’s also accurate in my experience with offenders.” Jensen fixed Jared with his gaze, watching for tells, minutes changes in the man’s expression that would give away what he was thinking.

“I’m not an _offender_ ,” Jared spat. “I’m trying to help change things. Don’t you get that?”

“I do, I just wonder why you care?” Jensen propped himself up on his elbow so he could get a better look at Jared’s face.

Jared took a deep breath and shook his head. He was beginning to look a little angry. “What? Do you want personal details? My sister, Megan can’t go to the University she wants to because of stupid rules about which fields women can be admitted to. My Dad spoke up when the owner of the news feed he worked reported an inaccurate story. The editors wanted to _please_ the powers that be rather than report the truth, so he was demoted. I bet _you_ don’t live in the kind of place where your neighbors and friends are arrested and shot. I’ve seen… people I know killed on those video feeds. And, if that’s not enough, I want to be able to love who I want to without being punished for it.”

Jared’s eyes were wild when he finished speaking and Jensen was a little taken aback. Normally, he wouldn’t be rattled by anything that an offender said to him. But, there was something about Jared - an honesty that he hadn’t expected. His gut told him that the man in front of him was telling the truth.

There were thoughts whipping through Jensen’s mind. He had a sister himself and had heard the simmering frustration in her voice when she’s been trying to further her education. But, Jared was right about the building Jensen lived in. The residents were carefully vetted, there hadn’t been any arrests there. But, Jensen was never at home long enough to get to know his neighbors. Danneel was his closest friend, the rest of his social circle were acquaintances from work.

“Nothing to say now?” Jared said when Jensen remained silent. “Thinking about adding an immorality charge to the list of my offenses?”

Frowning, Jensen averted his gaze for a few moments. Right. Jared had admitted that he was gay. That had been unexpected. “Actually, I was thinking about my sister - then my neighbors. Are you forgetting that my own Uncle was taken away from me when I was a child? The laws… it all affects me too.” When he met Jared’s gaze again, it felt different somehow. Jared no longer looked angry, he looked more surprised than anything else.

Jared glanced at Jensen’s left hand then back at his face. There was no conspicuously, shiny platinum band on his ring finger. “You’re not wearing a marriage band.”

Unconsciously, Jensen moved his left hand under the cover. “What? No. I’m not.”

“You’re gay too,” Jared said quietly as his gaze softened.

Immediately, Jensen was shaking his head. The only other person who had ever alluded to that was Danneel. Just like his mother, Danneel worried about Jensen reaching the age of thirty without having entered into a marriage contract.”No. I. No. I wouldn't… it’s illegal.”

Jared propped himself up on an elbow and reached out for Jensen’s arm. His fingers slid over Jensen’s wrist and his thumb smoothed over Jensen’s skin. “It’s _not_ wrong. It’s perfectly natural. It’s just the way people are born, like eye-color or something.”

For the briefest moment, Jensen dropped his gaze to the large hand that was holding his arm. A prickly heat spread up his arm and he yanked it away. “Don’t make assumptions.”

“Jeff was your favorite Uncle. You didn't care that he was gay.” Jared’s eyes widened as he stared at the shock on Jensen’s face.

“Go to sleep,” Jensen barked when he could finally force the words out. He flopped down on his back and waved his hand in front of the light panel above plunging the tent into darkness.

Jensen had wondered why his Uncle had been arrested but he had never checked the official record earlier and when he had… well, he couldn’t access any information. He didn’t _really_ want to know. He didn’t need the weight of doubt on his shoulders when he was doing his job, comparing people he had arrested to his Uncle.

“How could you not have known that? You have access to all the security records. Do you really expect me to believe that you never once looked into his record? You were his favorite nephew! He was-”

“-Shut up!” Jensen yelled. Ears ringing with the sound of his own voice, he tried to catch his breath. “You don’t know a _thing_ about me,” he continued quietly. “And I don’t believe you know my Uncle. I’m not sure where you’re taking me, or why, but we’ll get it over with as quickly as possible.”

As Jensen’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could make out the shape of Jared’s shoulders and his hair. He hadn’t moved.

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments as he tried to control his breathing. He didn’t want Jared to get the idea that his statements had exposed any cracks in Jensen’s cool demeanor.

There was a splinter of a moon in the sky and when Jensen opened his eyes again, he could see a little better. Jared was still staring at him.

After a few pounding heartbeats, Jensen watched Jared reach out towards him. He tensed but stayed still and Jared seemed to change his mind. He rolled onto his back and pulled the sleep sack over his chest.

Relief finally made it possible for Jensen to swallow. He let out a quiet sigh and curled the fingers of both hands into the material at his waist.

Over the years, Jensen had invested a lot of time in putting his personal life out of his mind. He had thrown himself completely into his career. The more advanced he got, the more he was able to provide financial assistance to his family. He had never wanted to complicate his life; he had invested a lot of time and energy in keeping things simple.

But, Jensen’s heart was pounding in his chest like he’d run a marathon. Jared’s words had come a little too close to knocking Jensen off his stride completely. It had to be all part of Jared’s strategy to undermine Jensen’s beliefs, it was all engineered to make him doubt himself and his decisions.

It wasn’t going to work. Jensen wouldn’t let Jared get under his skin.

No matter what Jensen thought, the reality was that he was rattled enough that sleep wouldn't come anytime soon. Jensen pried his fingers free from their tight hold on the sleep sack and he shifted to get more comfortable. He sighed and stared up at the roof of the tent.

It was going to be a long night. And Jensen would, no doubt, spend a lot of it going over Jared’s words in his head.

-=-=-=-

Jensen catnapped while Jared seemed to sleep like the dead. Every time Jensen had heard a noise he had been awake instantly, eyes searching for Jared in the darkness of the tent. He was always there, chest rising and falling slowly as he breathed deeply.

Halfway through the night, Jared had almost kicked his way out of the sleep sack. There was a light sheen of sweat on his chest. The fresh Med patch had no blood on it so that was a good sign.

By the time the glare of the sun burst over the horizon, Jensen was tired but ready to move. He pulled his scarf on quietly and slipped outside to have a look around.

The heat of the sun was already uncomfortable on the back of Jensen’s neck so he flipped the long scarf over his shoulder and pulled it tighter.

The washed out green haze smeared along the horizon made it impossible to see very far. They had traveled along the outskirts of an old city. Jensen thought it was old Seattle. None of the landscape looked quite like he had expected when he thought back to the maps he had seen.

A hot wind whipped up the powder light sand into a small dust devil as Jensen climbed onto a pile of rubble. The sand was gritty in his eyes and Jensen rubbed at them. A slab of concrete beneath his foot slid when he stepped on it, he flung his arms out to the sides to keep his balance and promptly lost it.

As Jensen’s feet slid out from under him, he heard a low rumble from somewhere below him. The concrete and wood beneath him seemed to vibrate and Jensen fell to his knees as he tried to find something to hold on to.

The problem was that the rubble beneath him was all shifting and Jensen realized _much_ too late that some sort of cavern had opened up beneath him. Everything seemed to be moving slowly for a few moments and then the slab that had been so hard under Jensen’s knees was gone.

Launching himself forward off his knees, Jensen managed to get the tips of his fingers over an outcropping of concrete.

The sound was insanely loud. The rumbling built to a crescendo as Jensen felt himself dangling in the air suddenly.

Dust swirled around Jensen and he coughed as he turned his face into his sleeve. His entire body swung free and adrenaline rushed into Jensen’s veins as he kicked his feet in an attempt to get a better grip on the concrete. He groaned as the ache in his finger joints spiked white hot. There was no way he could hold on.

“Jesus,” Jensen muttered as the sound around him died down. He tried to blink his eyes open but his face was covered in dust and dirt. His eyes were stinging and he couldn’t see a thing. Jensen tried to suck in some air but he only ended up coughing again.

He could feel his fingers beginning to give out and he squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he summoned his strength for one last attempt to adjust his grip. Clenching his abs, Jensen swung his lower body up to throw himself upwards.

The concrete shuddered under his fingers and Jensen felt it give way. In one of those strange glitches of time, Jensen felt as though he hung there in mid-air for a moment before his stomach fell.

Then a hand from above snatched a hold on his wrist.

“Fuck,” Jared’s voice made it to Jensen’s ears.

Some rocks and pebbles slid down the concrete in a cascade and Jensen twisted his hand so he could grab Jared’s wrist.

Jared groaned, his arm trembling as he held on to Jensen.

“Other hand,” Jared growled.

Still unable to open his eyes, Jensen swung his free arm up and managed to find Jared’s other hand.

Jared grunted, sounded as though he was adjusting his foothold. Then he began to haul Jensen up.

At first, Jensen couldn’t do anything other than hold on. He was just hanging there in space with no way to push himself up.

Inch by inch, Jensen felt himself being pulled up until he could finally feel the concrete against his forearms. When his foot kicked against something firm, he found it again, pushed off and Jared was able to yank him up to his waist.

The two men worked together, Jared pulling backward and Jensen hauling himself forwards. After what seemed like about fifty years, Jared sucked in a deep breath and with one final pull Jensen slid up onto his body.

They lay there for a few moments, panting. When he could breathe a little better, Jensen slid off Jared’s chest and lay at his side. He rubbed his face against his sleeves and managed to clean most of the dust away. He blinked a few times and was finally able to see.

“You alright?” Jared asked in a rough voice.

Jensen took a quick inventory. Apart from aching hands, he was fine. Things definitely could have been worse. “I’m okay.”

“It’s dangerous out here.”

“Yeah,” Jensen answered. “I see that.” He was feeling a little sheepish; he really should have realized that the terrain would be unstable.

“Old subway tunnels,” Jared said as he struggled to sit up.

 _Right_. Jensen remembered the old transportation system. It was just too bad he hadn’t remembered it was right underneath him.

When he looked over at Jared, Jensen was surprised to see that he was clad only in his pants and unfastened boots. A plume of red was seeping into the white rectangle of the med path. “You’re bleeding.”

Before he even thought about it, Jensen slid his hand over Jared’s ribs and pressed his palms to the red circle. “We need to stop it.”

Jared just stared at Jensen for a few moments, then he nodded once. “I’ll sit for a while and keep pressure on it until we start walking again.”

Jensen stood carefully, making sure he knew exactly where he was putting his feet. When he was sure he had a strong stance, he slid his arm under Jared’s and helped him up to his feet.

With Jared’s arm slung over his shoulder, Jensen picked a path through the treacherous rubble for them. He was _very_ relieved when they reached solid ground. “Thank you.”

Jared nodded and glanced at Jensen briefly. “S’ok.”

They walked slowly towards the tent. “Well, you didn’t have to help me. A lot of offenders would have just let me fall.”

Jared stopped so quickly that Jensen staggered forward. He frowned and looked up at Jared.

“I’m _not_ a killer,” Jared spat.

As far as Jensen was concerned, there were a lot of people who would argue with Jared’s statement. As a member of the Blue Dove, Jared was guilty by association. But, if it weren’t for him showing up out of the blue at exactly the right moment; Jensen had no idea what would have happened to him.

Jared looked away, pulled himself away from Jensen and sank down onto the nearest boulder with his hand pressed to his side.

Jensen sighed. Jared was a big enigma and it was a puzzle that Jensen needed to crack.

-=-=-=-

Another day of walking had left Jensen tired and becoming more concerned about their destination. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew that he was taking a chance by following a complete stranger out into the Outlands.

The payoff would be that he could be on his way to the heartbeat of the Blue Dove. All he had to do was get to the location, turn on his Comm Tag and hope that it could reach the US Government satellites that still circled above them. Jensen knew there were times when the E.D. was able to acquire satellite images from the Outlands so he was counting on being able to contact them.

As he trudged along behind Jared, he couldn’t help thinking about his Uncle. There was a possibility the Blue Dove had someone incarcerated with Jeff at some point. It could be that they had targeted Jensen _because_ of his high-security clearance. Jeff may have been targeted for information; the kind of information that would lure Jensen into a trap.

Jensen was alert; he was paying attention to every detail around him. The terrain they passed, the directions, the environment, and _Jared_ ; all the details were filed away in his mind.

The strange thing was that Jared didn’t seem to be trying to get any information from Jensen. After their brief conversation in the tent the previous night, he’d fallen back into an almost complete silence.

Jensen found himself wondering if _the conversation_ had been a strategy to unsettle him. He had been remembering back to when he was a child, the time he had spent with his Uncle had been special to him.

He didn’t remember having the slightest notion that his Uncle was interested in men, but then he’d been very young. His memories were limited to playing with his Uncle at his parents’ house, sneaking a taste of his Uncle’s beer at a family gathering; little things that seemed irrelevant.

Of course, there was the night his Uncle had been apprehended. Jensen remembered the voices… hushed at first, his father’s becoming loud and angry as Jeff came in to say goodbye to Jensen.

He remembered Jeff fastening the band around his wrist and marveling at the feel of real leather. It was too big, but Jensen had pushed it up his thin arm.

“We… I need to stop here,” Jared said.

Jensen was pulled from his thoughts abruptly as he realized that Jared had stopped right in front of him. “Is everything alright?”

The wind whipped at Jared’s scarf as he turned to scan the area. When he looked back at Jensen he sighed, “It’s the last good place to stop.”

Jensen tilted his head slightly and studied Jared. He’d been a little too wrapped up in his thoughts and hadn’t paid much attention to what was going on with his guide. Once he was paying more careful attention, he could see that Jared was leaning slightly to one side. In spite of the heat, he looked a little pale and exhausted. “You’re not okay.”

Jared smiled slightly and walked back to where Jensen was standing. “Just pulled at my stitches a bit savin’ your ass.”

The smile looked good on Jared’s face and, for a moment, Jensen just stared. Clearing his throat, he finally tore his gaze away from Jared and looked around. “There’s a place to sit over there. You rest and I’ll get everything set up.”

For the very first time since he’d appeared in Jensen’s life, Jared didn’t protest. He simply nodded and headed over to the large rocks Jensen had spotted.

-=-=-=-

When Jensen began to set everything up, the sun was still a blazing, white ball above the horizon. When he joined Jared by the flames flickering valiantly in the fire cartridge, it was dark.

“I can’t get used to this,” Jensen said as he sat down next to Jared.

“What?”

“It’s scorching hot all day, then freezing at night.” Jensen rubbed his arms and pulled his scarf tighter.

“The scientists were right about Global Climate Change… just not all the details.” Jared stretched out his legs beside the fire cartridge. He was leaning back against a rocky wall they were using for a bit of shelter.

Jensen nodded, shivered and shifted a little closer to Jared and the heat coming from the small flames. He stayed quiet for a while, staring into the flames as they danced in the wind. Their conversation from the previous night was still weighing heavily on Jensen’s mind. If it was a strategy to get more information from him, then he should return the favor. “When did you know?”

Frowning, Jared looked over at Jensen. “About Climate Change?”

“What? No.” Jensen shook his head. “That you were…” He shrugged. It was still a strange topic for him to discuss. It was, after all, illegal. The words just wouldn’t roll off his tongue like they seemed to for Jared.

Jared blinked a few times then his expression softened. “When did I know I was gay?”

Nodding, Jensen sat back slightly so he could see Jared’s face more clearly in the dim lights from the flames.

Jared took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “When I was about fourteen. There was this kid I walked to school with, Jake. Big eyes, blonde hair that looked a little golden sometimes. We were walking to the Education Center one day and he was talking about this girl named, Allie. He was talking about her eyes, the way she laughed and he said he had held hands with her.”

When Jared fell silent, Jensen smiled slightly. “And you realized you didn’t feel like that about a girl?”

Jared shook his head. “I realized I felt like that about Jake.” There was a smile on Jared’s face, but his eyes seemed a little sad.

“Did you tell him?” For some reason, the look on Jared’s face made Jensen want to change the subject but he reminded himself that he was still looking for information.

Jared shook his head and his scarf slid back off his hair, the wind tousled the strands that always seemed to hang in his eyes. “Of course not. We had all the new laws drilled into us at the Education Center. They might have been watered down for us because we were young but I knew. I knew that people… people like you would take me away if I let anyone know.”

“I don’t arrest kids,” Jensen added softly.

“I’m sure there’s a separate department for dealing with minors,” Jared answered flatly.

“It’s only illegal if you act on it.” If Danneel heard Jensen using her words, she’d probably hate him. Technically, it was true though.

Jared turned his head and stared at Jensen with wide eyes. “Aren’t those dangerous words from a Key Enforcer?”

“Just something a friend once told me.”

“Is this your subtle way of asking me if I’ve had sex with a man?”

Looking down briefly, Jensen sighed before looking back up at Jared. He studied the man’s eyes, taking in the bizarrely complex patterns in Jared’s irises. Did he want to know? Maybe. There was something unusual brewing in the pit of Jensen’s stomach. It was a crazy sensation: fluttering and uncertain. Jensen had never liked being uncertain, so he resorted to what he knew well: his training. “I’m a Key Enforcer. Anything that you reveal to me is considered admissible to any legal proceedings in the future.”

Jared huffed sharply and averted his gaze. “What’s happened to you? Sometimes, you seem pretty normal, the other times you act like you don't even have any feelings at all.”

Jensen frowned. “I _have_ feelings. I just happen to also have a career that I put a lot of blood, sweat, and tears into.”

Jared shrugged and stared at the flames as they were whipped by the cold wind. The sun had finally disappeared completely below the blurry horizon. Jared shivered and folded his arms across his chest. He took a deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips.

“I should change the Med patch,” Jensen offered. He didn’t like being responsible for Jared shutting down the way he had. In spite of making his stomach feel strange, it didn’t exactly help him to find out anything significant about Jared’s life.

Jensen pushed up to his feet, turned toward the tent, hesitated and turned back. “He extended his hand to Jared. “Come on.”

For a while, Jared just looked up at Jensen’s hand, then he met his gaze.

There was something in those damned eyes that seemed to look right into Jensen’s soul. He swallowed and pushed down the uncharacteristic nerves that were vibrating in his chest and extended his hand a little further.

Jared reached up and slid his hand into Jensen’s.

Widening his stance, Jensen hauled Jared up to his feet. Standing face to face, hands still clasped, they gazed at each other for a while. Their moist breath clouded the air between them when they exhaled.

When Jensen withdrew his hand, he stepped back slightly. “Go ahead in and I’ll get the fire cartridge.”

Jared nodded, adjusted his scarf and headed over to the tent.


	3. Chapter 3

There were only a few things for Jensen to do. He turned off the fire cartridge, packed it away and set the perimeter alarm. With the pack safely stowed in the tent’s storage compartment, Jensen stood at the opening, hands clasped together. 

It was strange how encounters with someone could alter the path he walked. He’d met a lot of offenders over his years as an Enforcer and a lot of them had given Jensen food for thought. Jared had dropped Jensen dead-center in his own personal maelstrom.

He cleared his throat and ducked slightly to head inside the tent.

Jared was lying on his sleep sack, his scarf was off, his shirt unbuttoned. The Med patch was already removed and Jensen frowned as he knelt at Jared’s side. The skin around the stitches was red and angry looking. “That looks worse.”

Sighing, Jared swept his hair back off his forehead and peered up at Jensen. “I wrenched it pretty good when I was pulling you up.”

“I wondered about that,” Jensen said. “Let me put some antibiotics on that. The fluid I have will numb the pain some and clear up any lingering infection.”

The furrows on Jared’s brow deepened but then he looked as though he changed his mind. He nodded once and pulled his shirt aside.

The field kit that Jensen had brought with him contained an anti-infection gel. He was quite certain it would help the inflammation in Jared’s wound. He pulled one small packet out of the field kit. “It might sting if I recall correctly.”

“You get hurt a lot in your line of work?” Jared averted his gaze, fingers fidgeting nervously with the edge of his shirt.

“Not a lot,” Jensen answered. He opened the packet and squeezed the gel out onto his index finger.

“You arrest people within the city?”

Jensen nodded and pressed his finger gently to the wound on Jared’s side. “I work wherever I’m sent.”

Wincing, Jared shifted his hips slightly. “It stings.”

“I said it would.”

“Oddly, that didn’t help.” Jared pursed his lips and attempted to blow his hair off his face.

“I’m sure you’ve been hurt before. You’re in the Blue Dove. You take part in terrorist attacks.” Jensen’s finger bumped over the auto-stitches Danneel had inserted. He could see that Jared was very fit. His abs were clearly defined and there didn’t seem to be an ounce of extra body fat on him.

“This is the first time I’ve been in the field-”

“-the field? You make it sound like you have a real job.” Jensen glanced up at Jared’s face before putting some more gel on his fingertip.

“I _do_ have a job,” Jared said in a strained voice. “I know you think everything we do is wrong but I believe in the cause.”

The fierceness in Jared’s expression was impressive. It was the kind of fire that the Enforcement Department would look for in new recruits. For a moment, Jensen found himself wondering what it would have been like to work side by side with Jared rather than on opposing teams. “Loyalty is a good quality.”

Jared’s expression relaxed slightly then he jumped when Jensen’s finger hit a painful spot on the wound.

“Sorry,” Jensen said softly. He spread the gel further from the raw edges of skin and watched as muscles tightened under Jared’s skin. “Still sore?”

Jared’s eyes flicked towards Jensen’s eyes, his lips, then he looked off to the side. “It’s okay.”

“How did you get involved?”

“With the Blue Dove?”

Jensen nodded as he continued to spread the gel. The wound already looked better, the redness around the stitches was beginning to disappear.

“Jeff recruited me,” Jared said with a fond smile on his face.

“You know him well?”

“We’re friends.”

“What kind of friends?” As soon as Jensen asked the question, he regretted it. He wasn’t even sure where it came from.

The frown returned to Jared's face, and a rose blush appeared on both of his cheeks. “Seriously? You’re only asking that because you know we’re both gay. We don’t _all_ sleep together, you know.”

“I don’t _know_ anything,” Jensen answered. His defenses were on high alert. He shouldn’t have to keep stumbling into awkward conversations to be kept on task. “All I know about _Jeff_ is what you’ve said.

“You’ll see for yourself when we get there. He’s your Uncle, alright. Although, I’m not sure he’s as good a judge of character as he thinks he is.”

Jensen used a clean wipe on his hand. He picked up a fresh patch and activated it then pressed it to the wound.

“I’m just doing my job,” Jensen said. “I’m not trying to be likable.” It was the truth, but Jensen felt a bit unsettled; things had progressed a bit beyond the realm of his job in truth. As he ran his finger along the edge of the patch to make sure it adhered to Jared’s skin. His body was hot to the touch and the heat seemed to crawl up Jensen’s arm and settle in the middle of his chest.

“Jeff said he thought you’d figure it all out.”

“What?” Jensen pulled his hand away but stayed where he was at Jared’s side.

“How unfair the laws were, the hypocrisy of it all. He said that when you were a kid you questioned everything, were curious to a fault.”

For a few moments, Jensen looked at Jared as he thought about his Uncle. Still the same mottled memories of his perfect, white teeth, playful grin and the way he laughed with his entire body. “I spent a lot of time with him.”

The expression on Jared’s face softened and he tugged his shirt closed. “He talks about you a lot.”

That made Jensen look away. He still wasn’t prepared to entertain the notion that his Uncle would magically appear at the end of their journey.

They were both quiet for a while and then Jared propped himself up on one elbow. “Do you have someone in your life?”

“Someone - what? No.” Jensen felt like he should already be used to the way Jared could catch him off guard. “I focus on my career.”

“I gathered that. But, don’t you get lonely?”

“No,” Jensen answered probably a bit too quickly. “I’m busy. I have friends.”

Jared raised an eyebrow and flinched back slightly. “Okay, I’m just asking. You don’t need to get defensive.”

“I’m not defensive.”

“Did you always want to be an Enforcer?”

Jensen hadn’t ever been asked that question… at least not that he could remember but then he didn’t really _get to know_ people often. Most of his social contacts were through work.

“If you don’t want to tell me-”

“I was just thinking,” Jensen answered quickly. He certainly wasn’t trying to shut down the conversation. It had only just begun.

“Were you pissed at them for taking your Uncle?” 

That was an easy question for Jensen to answer. “No. At first, I didn’t really understand what had happened. Then, by the time I was old enough to figure it out, I was just… used to his absence. He’d been out of my life a hell of a lot longer than he’d been in it.”

“But you have access to all the E.D. Records. At _any_ time you could have looked up what he did. Wasn’t it strange not knowing?”

“It was better,” Jensen answered. Feeling a little uncomfortable sitting so close to Jared, he moved back so he could sit cross-legged on his own sleep sack.

“Better how?” Jared got up carefully, one hand keeping pressure on the Med patch until he was sitting opposite Jensen.

“Better not knowing. I think… I just wanted to keep him the same way in my mind. At that age, I wouldn’t have even understood.”

“I guess. You were pretty young. Your Dad didn’t approve so Jeff probably wouldn't have wanted you to get caught in the middle of anything.”

All these strange things Jared came up with played games with Jensen’s mind. It had never occurred to him that his father had an issue with his Uncle. But, why would it? Jensen still had no way to distinguish truth from fiction. “They always seemed to get along.”

Looking a little uncertain, Jared licked his lips then looked down at his hands. “Sorry. I’m just so used to… the Jeff I know.” 

Still attempting to stay impartial, Jensen studied Jared’s demeanor. He did look as though he was being genuine. Jensen didn't get a bad feeling in his gut about the man, but he had more reasons to distrust him. They were on opposite sides of a very heated debate over belief systems. “It’s alright.”

When Jared looked up, he blinked a few times, his eyes moving over Jensen’s face. “Your freckles are darker.”

“What?” Unconsciously, Jensen lifted a hand to his cheek and rubbed it.

“Freckles.” Jared smiled slightly. “On your nose and across your cheeks. From the exposure to the sun, I guess.”

After rubbing at his cheek a bit more, Jensen scratched the stubble on his chin. “I guess I never really thought about it, the freckles.” Jensen realized he had been staring at Jared and averted his gaze.

“Listen,” Jared said softly. “I Know you don’t have any reason to trust me-”

“-No, I don’t.” Jensen regretted saying it as soon as he saw the unmistakable hurt on Jared’s face. “Jared-”

“No. I get it,” Jared said. “We don’t know each other. But, when we get there, things will be different. When you can talk to Jeff, things will be a lot more clear. I think that some of the stuff you’re going through, the internal conflict-”

“Oh, stop, Jared. I have no _internal conflicts_.” When Jensen looked up he could see skepticism written all over Jared’s face. “Let’s… let’s just not talk about Jeff.”

Staring for a while, Jared finally frowned then nodded once. He slipped his boots off and turned so he could tuck his legs inside the sleep sack.

“You going to sleep?” Jensen asked.

“Yeah. Probably for the best. Look on the bright side, Enforcer. You won’t have to talk to me any more tonight.”

Jensen supposed he deserved that and he couldn’t deny that he was a little relieved. He never knew what to expect from a conversation with Jared.

“Goodnight,” Jensen said quietly.

There was nothing but silence for a time, then Jared said, “Night.”

Jensen slipped his jacket off then adjusted the internal atmosphere. The light dimmed and Jensen laid down on his sleep sack.

“You can get _in_ the damn thing. I’m not going anywhere,” Jared muttered.

“Night, Jared.” Jensen didn’t get in the sleep sack, but he _did_ close his eyes. He knew that he needed sleep if he was going to keep up with the pace Jared was setting.

-=-=-=-

Morning came far too early. Cold, uncomfortable and hungry, Jensen found himself awake before Jared _and_ before the sunrise. Even with the climate control in the tent, Jensen felt a little cool. He gave in eventually and folded the sleep sack tight around his body.

“We can get up if you’re cold,” Jared mumbled from under his arm.

Not that Jensen wanted to give off the impression that he couldn’t take a little cold, but he decided there was no point in suffering. “I’ll get the fire cartridge going.”

-=-=-=-

They ate in silence. Jensen warmed up some coffee which was a nice change. He didn’t usually drink anything with caffeine in it. Of course, he tried to get more than a couple of hours of sleep most nights.

After a while, they packed up and headed out as the sun rose.

It was more of the same. The first hour of walking was comfortable. Once the sun came up, Jensen wrapped his scarf around his face. His eyes squinted against the harsh sunlight.

They had progressed through the outskirts of the ruined city. As the rubble and debris disappeared, Jensen realized they must have crossed into an area that was once agricultural.

Metal fences lay broken and bent, guarding expanses of dirt so dry it was cracked and blowing away with the wind.

The one thing that Jensen hadn’t expected was how depressing it was to be surrounded by all the skeletal remains of life.

As he hiked along behind Jared he couldn’t help thinking about all the people who hadn’t moved into the first beta Domes.

There were many people who refused to believe that the environment would become inhospitable. Not much had been documented about life outside the Domes once the migration had begun. But, as he looked around, Jensen knew that most people wouldn’t survive such a wasteland.

If Jared and the Blue Dove members had managed to carve out a life for themselves then they were very lucky. There was no doubt in Jensen’s mind that it would take strong leadership, a uniting force and a lot of scientific ingenuity.

They passed the remains of what must have been a house in better days. As Jensen watched, Jared searched through the rubble in the foundations for a while.

“What are you looking for?” Jensen called out.

Jared climbed back up onto the crumbling concrete and rubbed his face with his scarf. “Anything useful?”

“That where you get everything you people need to keep your organization going?” It was always difficult to predict when Jared might actually answer a question.

“Us people… _we_ get what we need however we can. It’s not like we have the fancy food replicators you have or a warehouse with a stockpile of gear.” A puff of dust rose up when Jared jumped down off the concrete.

“I was just asking,” Jensen said. He walked over a little closer and pulled his scarf down a little so Jared could see his face. 

“It’s never _just_ asking,” Jared answered. He took a couple of steps closer and jabbed a finger into Jensen’s chest. “You can’t stop being a Key Enforcer for even a few minutes.”

“Why do I need to?” Jensen should probably be sorry he had asked that question judging by the foul expression on Jared’s face.

“If you drop this… this government routine, you might actually be able to see things for what they really are.”

“I see things how they are. There are rules and there are people who break them. It’s my job to take care of those people.” The lines that Jensen always defaulted to were even beginning to sound a little hollow to him.

“Right,” Jared said as he stepped back. He adjusted the scarf he was wearing and adjusted the pack on his back. “You _take care_ of them.”

It was, yet another, dig about the video files. The deaths that Jensen couldn’t explain “Jared-”

“-We need to keep moving. We need some sort of cover tonight.” Without waiting for an answer, Jared stalked off in the direction of the sun.

Squinting into the light, Jensen sighed. Yeah, he could never predict Jared’s reaction to questions.

-=-=-=-

They continued walking for hours. Jared refused to stop for a rest. He reminded Jensen in a rather unpleasant tone that they needed to find cover. Grudgingly, he showed Jensen their destination on the horizon then began walking again.

It was painful to look at the horizon for too long, but from what Jensen could make out they were headed to a series of multistory buildings. The must have been part of a factory or plant. They didn’t seem to be as degraded as everything else they had passed.

Jensen jogged for a few minutes to catch up to Jared. “Was that place a factory? I’ve read about them. The old-fashioned bulk manufacturing?” He fell into step beside Jared and glanced over at him.

It didn’t seem like he was going to answer at first, then Jared rolled his shoulders and looked down at Jensen.

“It was an industrial park,” Jared said. “The buildings were constructed more solidly so it’s taking a lot longer for them to degrade.”

“Why are you so adamant that we need cover?” Jensen had a good idea but he wanted to get Jared talking.

Jared gestured to the wasteland they were walking across. “If we’re out in this at night, we’re sitting ducks.”

“Right. You said there were others… and Camel spiders.” Jensen definitely hadn’t forgotten about the Camel spiders.

“Afraid of spiders?” There was actually a smirk on Jared’s face that was closer to a smile for the first time that Jensen could remember.

“I’ve seen images of Camel spiders. Those things are bigger than my head. Anything that big deserves a bit of respect.”

The smirk turned into an actual smile and Jensen blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

“They don’t actually bite people,” Jared said gruffly.

“No?”

“Nope. And they’re not true spiders,” Jared said. “They’re Solifugae.”

Frowning, Jensen looked around. “I’m not taking any chances.” It was nice to be having a semi-normal conversation even if it was about prehistoric-sized spiders. “Who are the _other_ people who are out here?”

Jared sighed. “Criminals, desperate people. It’s hard to say sometimes.”

“Desperate why?” It was the most information Jared had given him since they’d met and Jensen wanted it to keep flowing.

“Some people are forced out here because they can’t afford to stay in the Dome. They get sick, radiation.”

“There are meds for that.” Jensen would take them soon. The problem with them was that they couldn’t be taken long-term so medical intervention was always required sooner or later.

“Sure,” Jared answered. “If you’re in the Dome and employed. If you’re Tracered.”

“So, people risk their lives because they don’t want to be Tracered?” It didn’t make sense to Jensen. Beliefs and principles were one thing, but losing your life because of them was pointless.

“You just don’t get it, do you,” Jared snapped. “There are people who don’t want to live in the Dome if they have to live _half_ a life. People like me. I don’t want to live in there, where it's a crime for me to even be who I am.”

 _Right_. “Is it really worth that much to you?”

Jared stopped dead in his tracks again and it took Jensen a couple of seconds to stop. “What have they done to you?”

“What? Who?” Jensen frowned as he steeled himself for another essay as to why he resembled an android.

“Did you seriously just ask me if being myself was _worth it_?” Jared tugged his scarf down from his face and stared at Jensen with wide-eyes.

“I did. We all make choices, Jared. We all have different priorities.”

“Priorities?” Jared stared at Jensen for a while then his expression changed and he looked almost sad. “I hope Jeff’s prepared for how _hopeless_ you are.”

A little stunned, Jensen just watched as Jared shook his head and started walking again. “Hopeless,” he murmured to himself.

What annoyed Jensen more than anything else was that Jared was getting to him for some reason. The constant criticism was wearing. The sad looks got to Jensen though.

Jensen jogged a few steps to catch up again. “Jared, I _am_ being myself. This isn’t an act. I focus on my career because I like what I do.” Jensen reached up and adjusted his rebreather.

“I’m sure you believe that,” Jared muttered from beneath the scarf. He kept walking.

All Jensen could see in between the wraps of the scarf were Jared's eyes. His lashes were colored brown by the blowing dust collecting on them. “Jared? Not everyone can be like you.”

Jared glanced at Jensen again then nodded and continued walking.

Jensen was getting tired of jogging to catch up so he decided to just lag behind for a while. He didn’t seem to be making great inroads with Jared anyway.

-=-=-=-

By the time they stopped for the evening the sun was already dipping below the distant horizon. For once, there was no wind and Jensen found the near-silence a bit unnerving.

There were quiet rustling sounds around them and Jensen stood near the perimeter alarm peering out into the dusk.

“It’s probably just the spiders,” Jared said. He was sitting on the sand near the fire cartridge, staring into the flames.

“I’m not sure what’s worse,” Jensen answered. “The fact that there are Camel spiders out there or the fact that your use of the word _probably_ means there’s a possibility that it’s something else.”

Jared chuckled quietly and the sound of it made Jensen turn and stare. The smile on Jared’s face was warm, his nose was wrinkled slightly and there were dimples on his cheeks. When he looked up at Jensen, he tilted his head slightly. “What?”

“Haven’t heard you laugh before, or seen you smile like that come to think of it.”

“Well, as much as I’d rather have a different traveling companion, you _can_ be amusing,” Jared said.

Heading over to the fire cartridge, Jensen stood looking down into the flames. “You always sit near the flames.”

Jared nodded. “Most of the other things that are alive out here don’t like fire very much.”

“Good to know.” Jensen stepped around the capsule and crouched down next to Jared.

Still smiling, Jared peered up at Jensen from under the hair that had fallen across his face. “You’re not afraid, are you, Jensen?”

A strange shimmer of energy ran down Jensen’s spine when Jared said his name.

“Would it change your opinion of me if I said I might be a little leery of Camel spiders?” It was a slight exaggeration, but Jensen liked the way Jared was still smiling and looking more relaxed than he had since they had first encountered one another.

Chuckling again, Jared pulled his scarf tighter around his neck. “Yeah, I think it just might.”

“I’m trusting you not to use it against me,” Jensen deadpanned.

“I’ll try not to abuse the trust.” Still smiling, Jared shook his head and looked back at the flames.

Jensen’s own smile felt good. It was a relief to have some of the tension between them dissipate, even if was only likely to be temporary. “I like it when you smile.”

When Jared looked up at Jensen, his cheeks were a little pink. The thing was, Jensen was too busy trying to figure out why he’d spoken rather than worrying about why Jared was blushing.

When Jared rolled his lips together and looked back down at the flames in front of him, Jensen stood slowly. "I should... I’ll set up the tent.”

“Okay.”

Moving swiftly over to where he had left his backpack, Jensen tried _very_ hard not to continue thinking about the smile on Jared’s face and the strange way it made him feel.

-=-=-=-

They came as close to _chatting_ that evening as they ever had. Even Jared opened up a little bit. He talked about growing up, going to school, following the _normal_ route. He’d met Jeff at a demonstration. There had been hundreds of people there so Jeff was probably relatively safe.

Jared’s explanation for speaking with Jeff was that he had _looked different_. Apparently, there was a spark in his eyes... something that Jared thought was honest and good.

Jensen thought he remembered that. He remembered wondering if his Uncle was always up to something, or just knew so much more than him that he always had that almost-smile on his face. Looking back over his memories with an adult perspective, Jensen supposed Jeff looked happy.

“Did you feel happy there right away?” Jensen asked.

“It wasn’t quite that easy,” Jared answered. “Jeff really takes care of his people. It was months before I was able to go out to join the Community."

“So, you worked for Jeff before you moved out there?” It had always been assumed that the Blue Dove recruited people from the Dome. It would be quite remarkable if the key leaders were in and out of the Dome regularly.

Nodding, Jared looked up briefly and smiled. “I did. I worked on some things.”

Even though there was a smile on Jared’s face, Jensen could see that the walls of protection were coming down again. He wouldn’t reveal much more, so Jensen would have to be careful. “What do you want from your life?”

Jared threw his head back and laughed.

“What?” A little perplexed, Jensen turned sideways on the hunk of rock he had dragged over to sit on. He stared at Jared and waited for him to stop laughing.

“You sound like some kind of counselor or something. _What do I want from life?_ What does everyone want from life?”

“Well, I wanted a career I could be proud of,” Jensen answered.

Blinking a few times, Jared frowned and stared at Jensen for a while. ”When you were growing up, you wanted a career?”

“Not from the very moment I was born or anything. But… the E.D. was around... always in my head for my entire life I guess.”

“From the time they took your Uncle…” Jared nodded and sighed.

Jensen decided to try being more open with Jared in the hopes that it would urge him to continue speaking. “What I saw that night changed everything in my life.”

For the first time, Jared looked interested and engaged. He turned so he was facing Jensen. Their knees bumped together and Jensen resisted the urge to pull away.

“Weren’t you scared of them? Jared asked.

Jensen shook his head. “I was more confused than anything else. The night they took my Uncle I didn’t even understand that it was permanent. I thought he would be back after a while.”

“Where did you get that idea?” Jared pulled his scarf a little tighter around his neck. The evening wind was beginning to blow cold between them.

Raking through his fuzzy memories, Jensen thoughts about it. “My Dad, I think. When I was sitting in the window, watching them take Unc- Jeff. Dad came and stood behind me and told me they were taking him away to fix him.”

“Fix him?” Looking skeptical, Jared looked down at where his hands were clasped together in his lap. “You mean re-educate him.”

“Jared, you must realize that I didn’t understand that. I was a kid.” Leaning forward slightly, Jensen waited until Jared made eye contact again. “I was a child. I didn’t even understand what he’d been taken away for.”

“He’ll probably tell you what happened to him. The Blue Dove wasn’t as structured back then. I took a while to get to him.” The next breath that Jared sucked in seemed a bit weary.

“I’m sure I’m going to be learning lots of things I didn’t know before.” It seemed to be the safest way for Jensen to say it. He was _far_ from being able to determine the validity of anything Jared was telling him.

“Yeah.” Jared nodded, smiled fleetingly, then leaned back. “I’m sorry, Jensen. I’m tired. I gotta sleep.”

There was a roughness in Jared’s voice that seemed to appear every evening. Jensen wasn’t sure if it was because he was still healing or because he refused to use the rebreather.

Jensen nodded. He could use some sleep himself. “No problem. Go ahead. I”ll pack up.”

Without saying anything else, Jared nodded, stood slowly and headed to the tent.

As soon as Jensen turned the fire cartridge off, the darkness crept in on him. He lingered outside only long enough for Jared to get settled.

-=-=-=-

As soon as Jensen heard movement in the tent, his eyes shot open. From where he was lying he could see Jared moving towards the sealed door. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Jared jumped and swore softly. “You scared the shit out of me.”

It was still almost black outside so they couldn't have been asleep very long. Jensen propped himself up for on his elbow and slid his hand down into his sleep sack to curl his fingers around the grip on his weapon. “ _Where_ are you going?”

Jared took a deep breath and dropped his gaze as he reached for the door seam. “I have to piss. Unless you have a gadget for that too.”

“Without taking his eyes off Jared, Jensen flipped his sleep sack open. He’d kept his boots on just in case he had to move quickly. “Don’t go out of my sight.”

Even in the ambient light from the glowing door seam, Jensen could see the amusement on Jared’s face.

“You wanna watch, Jensen?”

“Just hurry up.”

Looking quite pleased with himself, Jared tapped the door seam. As it opened, the door let in a gust of very cold air. “You wanna hold it for me?”

“Jared, it’s cold and I’m tired so I don’t have any patience. Get on with it. I’m sure you don’t need any _help_.”

Jensen watched as Jared slipped into the darkness outside. He sat up and knelt by the door, tapped his Comm Tag to turn on the light. He kept the beam just behind Jared’s feet because he didn’t want to have any more discussion about Jared’s… anything.

It didn’t take long, and Jared was hurrying back to the tent. It had to be below freezing outside; there was a sharpness to the air and Jensen’s lungs ached when he breathed in too deeply. He’d begun shivering as soon as Jared had opened the door.

Jared ducked into the tent before Jensen had a chance to move out of the way. Jared stumbled as he tried to kick his boots off while bent at the waist to re-seal the door.

Trying to shift backward, Jensen dug his heels in and pushed. He didn’t get enough traction and was _right_ below Jared at exactly the wrong moment.

As Jared turned to kneel down to get onto his sleep sack, he got his feet twisted up in Jensen’s and fell forward.

All Jensen knew was that he was sitting up one moment and the next he was lying on his back with Jared’s weight pinning him to the sleep sack beneath him.

His first instinct was to _fight back_. His hand snapped up and he grabbed Jared’s wrist and twisted it behind his back.

Jared groaned in pain and shifted himself so his knees were on either side of Jensen’s hips. He struggled to try and free his arm but Jensen’s grip was tight.

“What the hell, Jensen?”

“You attacked me.”

Jared snorted. “I fell, asshole.” Jared struggled again.

Jensen kept hold of Jared’s wrist and managed to get his free arm over Jared’s waist.

When Jared finally ceased his struggling, he fell forward against Jensen. Propped up on his forearms, his face was right above Jensen’s.

It was all a little surreal. Jensen wasn’t used to sharing his personal space with anyone, let alone a man as substantial as Jared.

The strangest part was the way the heat of Jared’s breath on Jensen’s lips made warmth blossom in his chest.

They stared at each other for a while, Jared looking a little wide-eyed.

Jared shifted slightly to try and buck Jensen’s hold again. His hips slid forward as he tried to get his hand under him.

Heat spiked into Jensen’s body and felt adrenaline spinning into his blood. He loosened his grip on Jared then froze. He could feel the heat of Jared’s back against his palm, even through his shirt.

The weight of Jared’s body shifted again and Jensen felt pleasure slip down his spine. “Get _off_ me.”

“Jensen-”

“Get off me _now_.”

Furrows appeared in Jared’s brow and he looked as though he might protest, then he shook his head and swung his leg free so that he could roll over onto his own sleep sack.

Fists clenched at his sides, Jensen stared at the roof of the tent. He shivered slightly, entirely too aware of the missing heat of Jared’s body. At the very same time, he was aware of the absence of Jared’s weight, he was all too aware of the man’s presence only inches away.

“Jensen?”

“Go to sleep,” Jensen said. His voice was strained, his throat tight. He bit down on his bottom lip _hard_ and breathed in slowly.

It meant nothing. It was exhaustion and tension. It meant _nothing_. Jensen would repeat that over and over in his mind until he couldn’t think of anything else _but_ those words.

When he rolled onto his side and covered himself up, Jared sighed.

Closing his eyes, Jensen tried to focus on his heartbeat. It was still thumping hard in his chest, his blood hissing in his ears.

“Jensen, it’s perfectly normal-”

When Jared’s fingers brushed over Jensen’s wrist his entire body jolted and he yanked his arm away. “Don’t touch me.”

Even though Jensen kept staring straight up, he could feel Jared’s eyes on him. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “Go to sleep.”

After a while, Jared rolled onto his other side and pulled the sack up over his shoulder.

Jensen finally closed his eyes and tried to relax.

_It was nothing._

-=-=-=-

When Jensen awoke, he was momentarily confused. He’d been cold after Jared had opened the tent, annoyed. It had taken him awhile to get back to sleep.

He’d made sure he was on top of the sleep sack, just in case Jared had decided to go on another walkabout.

But, he wasn’t cold when he’d woken up.

In fact, he was quite warm, comfortable and felt as though he could happily sleep a few more hours.

He opened his eyes slowly and his heart started to race.

Jared was lying flush against Jensen’s side. His arm was flopped over Jensen’s chest and his leg was slung over Jensen’s. His breath was warm against Jensen’s cheek and swirls of heat slipped into Jensen’s veins.

His breath caught in his chest and he shivered slightly. There wasn’t a great deal of physical contact in Jensen’s life. For the most part, it made him feel uncomfortable.

But, the heat and weight of Jared’s body felt _different_. There was a strange awareness creeping down along Jensen’s flesh. He could feel Jared’s warmth seeping into him at every intersection of their bodies. His mouth felt dry and it was a little more difficult to breathe than it should be.

He could feel uncertainty welling in his chest again and as he turned his head to see if Jared was awake, he was met with wide, hazel eyes.

“You were shivering last night,” Jared said quietly. “You never get under the cover.”

Even though Jared’s voice was soft, Jensen felt the weighty presence of every word. The warm, moist, breath from Jared’s lips slithered along Jensen’s jaw and made his chest tighten.

The hazel-eyed gaze moved from Jensen’s eyes to his lips then back up again. The dark of Jared’s pupils was a little wider and his fingers brushed against Jensen’s side.

Just a fraction of an inch was _all_ there was between them. Jared tilted his head back and his lips settled against Jensen’s.

It felt to Jensen as though every molecule of oxygen had been sucked out of the tent. When he sighed, his lips parted slightly and Jared pulled back enough to kiss Jensen’s bottom lip.

The sound of Jared’s moan sliced through the heat binding Jensen there in that moment. He pulled away from Jared, slid out from under his arm and leg. His heart was racing like he’d run a marathon and he let his eyes fall closed for a few moments.

“Jensen-”

“Don’t. _Please_.” The pleading tone of his voice made Jensen feel dizzy and a little ill.

Maybe Jared had no idea why Jensen was asking him to stop. Maybe none of it made sense. Jensen wasn’t going to _know_ anything as a certainty for quite some time.

A pained expression on his face, Jared withdrew. His leg disappeared first, his arm, then he hesitated a moment before rolling onto his back. He looked worn down.

Jensen wiped a hand over his mouth and lay back. He stared at the ceiling of the tent until his eyes ached.

It was a very long time before Jensen fell asleep again.

-=-=-=-

When Jensen woke up, Jared wasn’t in the tent. A tornado of feelings touched down in Jensen’s mind. He could _not_ afford to lose Jared now.

Kicking his way out of the sleep sack, Jensen slapped his hand against the wall of the tent. The moment it was open he shot outside and stopped dead in his tracks.

Jared was sitting beside the fire cartridge. His scarf was hanging loosely around his shoulders, his hair tousled. He had stretched the sleeves of his sweater down so he could pull them over his hands to keep warm. When he looked up, he sighed then dropped his gaze back to the flames. “I didn’t run off, Jensen. You can relax.”

It wasn’t like Jensen could deny that he’d been thinking that exact thing. Jensen adjusted his clothes, smoothed the front of his shirt down then coughed.

“You were in a rush. You forgot your rebreather.” Jared spoke without looking up.

 _Right._ Ducking back into the tent, Jensen grabbed his rebreather and his scarf then headed back out. He watched Jared for a while, then strode over to the fire cartridge and sat down opposite him. “We need to talk.”

Without looking up from the flames in front of him, Jared nodded.

“I need…” Jensen sighed.

“You need what?” Jared looked up. His eyes were red-rimmed and there were dark circles under them.

“I need you to respect the choice… I’ve made. The way I live my life. Even if you don’t agree. That. That’s what I need.” Knowing it was what he needed to say and actually saying it had sort of merged together in Jensen’s mind. The words came out in a cascade of breath.

The look on Jared’s face was a little hard to read. His brow was furrowed slightly, his cheeks were ruddy from the cold morning air. His long fingers moved over the edge of the scarf as though he was studying the way it felt.

The silence stretched out so long that Jensen half-expected to hear the sound of it snapping. “Okay?”

Jared blinked, rubbed his thumb across his lips and nodded.

“Yeah?” There was no need for his question but Jensen felt as though he needed to hear Jared say more.

“Yes, Jensen,” Jared said in a quiet voice. “I won’t touch you again because that’s what you’re actually asking for.” His gaze lingered for a few moments then he looked back down at the flames. “We need to get moving.”

It didn’t take long for Jensen to realize there wouldn’t be much more conversation. When he couldn’t stand to sit there any longer, he stood slowly and headed over to pack up the tent. 

He rubbed at the strange hollow feeling in his chest.

-=-=-=-

Hours passed as the two men walked in silence. Jensen found himself missing the snappy remarks from Jared, the way he would glare at Jensen. The silence was too heavy; too cumbersome.

Jensen was consistently about ten places behind Jared. It was easier to keep an eye on him and slightly easier to ignore the fact that they were traveling the same path uttering only the necessary words to one another. It was far from a pleasant experience.

They had to be approaching their destination. Jensen wasn’t going to ask. Jared had always been reluctant to give him any information and there was no point in trying to talk about much else.

As the day progressed, Jensen could see some rock faces off in the distance. It would be a good place to set up a base, somewhere they could use the rock for protection or insulation from the extremes of temperature.

Jared’s broad shoulders were set stiffly, he didn’t look back over his shoulder to see if Jensen was still there. It didn’t really matter, Jensen figured. The worst that could happen was that he supposedly would find his way back to the Dome. It wasn’t likely that he would be able to follow Jared any further if he lost sight of him; the wind covered their tracks moments after they left them. He increased his pace to close the distance between them.

The scarf was pulled tight around Jared’s face, revealing only his eyes.

“Jared? Are we almost done for the day? Do you want to camp?”

“We’re almost home,” Jared said without breaking his stride.

“Okay,” Jensen said to himself and the wind because Jared had already pulled ahead again.

-=-=-=-

The seventh hour of walking had just passed when they finally reached the cliffs. As the day had progressed Jensen had realized that the landscape had changed. There were mountains off in the distance, their peaks scorched black and brown. They were still miles away but the rocky foothills had approached quickly.

Once Jared and Jensen were walking in the crevices and valleys between the rocks they were able to unwind their scarves. The shade was ten or fifteen degrees cooler and felt wintry compared to the direct sunlight.

When they reached a small tunnel, Jared gestured for Jensen to go first.

Ducking his head slightly, Jensen headed into the walkway. It was darker and it took a while for his eyes to adjust. He thought he heard something, a small rock falling and he slowed his pace.

A tall woman slid down the rock face in front of Jensen and landed in a crouch with a long blade drawn. She was athletic, clearly used to being physical. Her long, blonde hair was pulled back into a careless ponytail, her blue eyes intense underneath dark lashes and black eyeliner.

Jensen stood his ground and kept his hands at his sides. Making no sudden moves was probably a good idea judging by the fierceness in the woman’s gaze.

Jared stepped forward slightly, leaving Jensen just behind his left shoulder. “Hey, Adrianne.”

Adrianne smiled as her eyes moved to Jared’s face. “Good to see you back, Jay. All good?”

Nodding, Jared nodded his head in Jensen’s direction. “I got what I was sent for. I need to take him to see Jeff.”

Adrianne nodded once and stood. She uncoiled like a snake and Jensen was a little surprised by how tall she was. “Wait,” Jensen said as he reached for Jared’s shoulder. “I’m what you were supposed to-”

The sound of metal cutting through the air made Jensen hold his breath. A knife blade pressed against his throat and he could feel the sting of its bite and a warm trickle of blood.

“Misha, don’t hurt him,” Jared said without turning around. “Jeff will be pissed.”

Jensen squared his shoulders as the blade retreated slowly. A slim man with dark brown hair stepped around him to throw a punch at Jared’s shoulder. “You made it back. I’ve just lost a bet because of you.”

“Never bet against me, Collins. I’ve told you that before.”

The man adjusted his jacket but didn’t sheath his blade. His gaze moved over Jensen as he took inventory. He only stepped back when Jared gave him a pointed look.

“Where’s Jeff?” Jared asked.

Adrianne shrugged and Misha smirked. “Where he always is.”

-=-=-=-

In spite of the previous awkwardness between them, Jensen stayed close to Jared as they walked to their new destination. “What was _that_ about?”

“What?” Jared was walking a bit slower. He looked a bit more pale than he had earlier.

“What was that about me being the mission. Are you serious?” Jensen kept his voice low, spoke close to Jared’s ear.

“Jeff wanted to contact you,” Jared said quietly. He kept walking, keeping up to Adrianne.

“So, what? More lies? Did you even break into the Church?” More than furious, Jensen grabbed Jared’s wrist and stopped him in his tracks.

Jared nodded his head slowly and rubbed his free hand over the stubble that was darkening his jaw. “You were _part_ of my mission, Jensen. You’re important to Jeff.”

“Important? I can’t believe you. You were just using me the entire time. All this time you just wanted to get me back here.” Jensen shoved Jared’s arm away as he let go of him.

Misha had stopped about twenty feet in front of them and his hand lingered near the handle of his blade. “Everything alright, Jared?”

Jared held up his hand and waved Misha off.

Jensen didn’t like the way Misha’s gaze lingered on him as he turned away and kept walking. “You’re a real piece of work, Jared.”

“Jensen, this is all going to make a hell of a lot more sense once you meet up with Jeff again.” As Jared started to walk forward again, Jensen stared at him.

The way it was, things weren’t going in Jensen’s favor. He had a couple of choices. He could take on everyone who was there and hope that he could find his way back to the Dome, or he could follow through, find out what was going on, find out what lengths the Blue Dove would go to in order to get what they wanted.

“Move it,” Adrianne muttered as she shoved at Jensen’s shoulder. He started walking again, begrudgingly putting one foot in front of the other.


	4. Chapter 4

It turned out that Jeff’s _favorite_ place looked a little like a command center. When Jared had approached a flat, black door, it slid open and revealed a room that was bustling with activity.

There was a huge circular bank in the middle of the room, lights flashed and holograms winked in and out of existence. There were workstations scattered around the room, some of them staffed by people who looked even younger than Jared.

A hush fell over the room when the door slid closed behind them and Jensen watched as nearly all the eyes in the room turned to him. Unconsciously, he stepped closer to Jared. “Was it something I said?”

“They know who you are,” Jared said quietly. “Come on.”

Jared’s fingers curled around Jensen’s wrist and he tugged him towards the back of the room.

Jensen continued to study the room. Every detail he could commit to memory he could record when he was able to access his Comm Tag discreetly. As soon as the tag was able to access a satellite, Jensen would send his location.

Another door slid open and Jared led Jensen inside.

“Jared,” a voice boomed from behind a panel that was pulled out of a seam in the all. “Saw your ID on my band, I-”

When the owner of the huge voice appeared from behind the panel, he froze.

Jensen’s heart felt like it was frozen in his chest, and he stumbled back slightly without pulling his wrist free of Jared’s grip.

The man in the room certainly looked like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Jensen would know his Uncle anywhere. He had his own memories and the hundreds of image files he’d seen over the years.

But, it couldn’t be. If the man standing in front of Jensen was his Uncle, then it would shake all his foundations. The Uncle he hadn’t seen since he was a child was still incarcerated back in the City Dome.

“Jesus Christ,” _Jeff_ said as he moved closer.

Tilting his head slightly, Jensen studied the man’s face. He looked older than the Uncle in his mind. His facial hair was more grey than black and his hair was longer. Of course… he would look different after so many years. But then again, the Blue Dove could have found someone who was a passing double. He shook his head slightly as he froze where he was.

“Jensen,” the man said as he stopped about two feet in front of Jensen.

Jared cleared his throat. “He doesn’t believe you’re… you.”

Nothing happened for a few tense moments and then the man threw his head back and laughed.

The sound sent a shiver racing down Jensen’s spine. His mouth fell open as he watched the man lean back at the waist and laugh joyously.

Two steps back and Jensen hit the wall that was behind him. Jared held tightly to his wrist and it felt like the only thing that was keeping Jensen from spiraling off into the dark fog around him.

Jensen knew that laugh, he’d heard it in his memories time and again. “Jeff?”

The man’s laugh died down to a chuckle and he reached out for Jensen. “C’mere, son. I’ve waited a hell of a long time to see you.”

Before Jensen could protest he was being crushed by Jeff’s arms. The leather coat he was wearing squeaked and Jensen pulled back in surprise to look at his Uncle’s face again. It was all too familiar and impossible at the same time.

Jeff’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears above his broad smile.

Shaking his head slowly, Jensen twisted his arms free of the man’s grip and took a shaky step backward. “You can’t be my Uncle. A look-a-like maybe. Were you crazy enough to get your face altered?”

“Told you,” Jared said. He stepped closer to Jensen and reached out for his arm. “Calm down, Jensen. You’re gonna bust something.”

It was impossible for Jeff to be alive and free. If Jensen could _just_ get satellite access, Jensen was finally going to request information about the status of his Uncle’s incarceration. It would all make sense then.

“For fuck sakes, Jensen. You know me,” the man said. The smile was gone from his face and a tear had slipped free and was trailing down his cheek. “I practically raised you until... Well, look at my face.”

Jensen looked up at the man’s face and into his dark eyes.

“You know me, Jensen. Remember… when you turned five years old I... I took you to the circus. A clown came into the audience to get you to ride a huge mechanical elephant. You were too scared to go with him.”

“Anyone could have seen that happen,” Jensen protested. He pulled away from Jared and walked backward until he bumped into the wall again.

The man who looked so much like his Uncle, raised his hands slowly and took a step closer. “Jensen, you were just five. You cried all the way home in the car because you hadn’t been brave enough to say, yes. I told you to remember the way it felt and never miss an opportunity to do what you wanted because of fear.”

Jensen’s eyes widened as he leaned back heavily against the wall. No one could have known that had happened.

“I promised you on the ride home that it would be our secret, Jensen.” The man stayed where he was, eyes locked on Jensen. “I’ve never told another soul that until today.” He waved his hand in Jared’s direction without taking his eyes off Jensen.

Jensen felt the strength leave his legs and he slid down the wall slowly until his ass hit the floor. If the man in front of him was his Uncle, then everything that he was trained to do was based on a lie. He tried to speak but his throat was clenched tightly. He lifted his hands and covered his eyes so he could take a few deep breaths.

“Jensen?” Jared’s voice was gentle, uncertain.

Jensen’s head was spinning. If the things that Jared had been telling him were true then Jensen had no idea what to think. It was like all his foundations were crumbling out from under him. “All those people I arrested are dead?”

Jensen felt some movement beside him and when he pulled his hands away from his face, Jared was crouched beside him.

“Not all of them, Jensen.” Jared reached out and squeezed Jensen’s shoulder gently.

Probably, all the people who had been suspected for a connection to the Blue Dove had been executed like Traci Dinwiddie. It was almost too much for Jensen to comprehend. He felt like he was going to throw up. “I didn't know, Jared.”

After the slightest hesitation, Jared nodded and lifted his hand to cup Jensen’s cheek. “I know.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you sooner, son.” Jeff’s voice was softer.

Jensen looked up and took another deep breath. He studied Jeff’s face then turned to look at Jared. “I thought - you came for the information.”

Jared nodded, withdrew his hand and shrugged. “That was part of my mission.”

The Comm Tag around Jensen’s neck suddenly felt like it was a lead weight. He reached up and curled his hand around it tightly. All he had to do was slide his thumb along the edge of the Tag and it would automatically begin to scan for a satellite connection. Jensen could go back to his life as though nothing had changed.

“Jensen?” Jeff said again, his voice a little unsteady. “I couldn’t send anyone sooner. It had to be someone I trusted and I would trust Jared with my life. I _did_ trust him with my life.”

Jensen tried to blink away the tears that were burning his eyes as he turned to look up at Jeff. “I didn’t look for you, not once. I was so convinced you were in custody - and… I… I believed that everything… _God_.”

Jared leaned in closer and slid his hand into Jensen’s. “Hey. Just breathe slowly. This is a whole lot for you to process.”

When he met Jared’s gaze, Jensen saw him through the blur of tears. “I. There was. The videos, you didn’t fake them.”

After he blew out a long, slow breath, Jared shook his head. “We didn’t, Jensen. But _you_ didn’t know.”

There were faces whipping through Jensen’s mind. He knew all the names connected to the Blue Dove, it was part of his job. If he was undercover, he needed to be able to identify other members. But, this was insane. “I have to get back there. I have to stop this. There are people who need to know what’s-”

“-Jensen,” Jeff interrupted. He took a knee in front of his nephew and smiled slightly. “We have someone on the inside who’s taking care of it. The new videos that Jared brought back were already used internally to get rid of someone.”

As the words settled in Jensen’s mind, he struggled to understand what Jeff was saying. “You have someone on the inside? Inside the Church?”

Jeff’s smile broadened and he glanced over at Jared before looking back at Jensen. “Jared is pretty skilled but he couldn’t have gotten in there all by himself.”

“Who is it?” There were only a handful of people who would have enough security clearance to override the protocols of the Church. It would have to be someone with Jensen’s clearance or higher and that meant that he would know them.

“Not now, Jensen. There’s a lot to explain.” Jeff glanced at Jared again and reached out to brush two fingers against Jared’s jaw. “Are you two tired? You must be. You covered a lot of ground.”

“I could use some help from Cindy-” Jared winced as he shifted slightly.

“Cindy…” Realization dawned on Jeff’s face as he looked over at Jared. “You’re hurt? What the fuck happened?” Jeff stood quickly and hauled Jared to his feet carefully, wrenching his hand from Jensen’s.

“Be careful,” Jensen said. “He was pretty badly injured.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner, Jay?”

“I know how important it was for you to see Jensen.” The flush on Jared’s cheeks had an almost feverish look about it.

“ _You_ are important, Jared.” Jeff slipped his arm over Jared’s shoulders. “Let’s get you to Cindy. You can tell me what happened on the way. Come on, Jensen.”

-=-=-=-

The place was a maze of rooms, tunnels and interconnecting hallways. In an attempt to try and settle his ragged nerves, Jensen fell back on his training. He paid attention to the route they took, the number of people they passed and any other details that might prove useful.

The organization was bigger than anyone suspected. And, they seemed well-established. The buildings were well-constructed, climate-controlled and secure. There were security panels on doors that Jensen assumed led outside.

As they were walking, Jeff used his thumbprint to open some doors until they had finally arrived at a Medical Bay.

Cindy was a Med tech like Danneel; she was even wearing the red jumpsuit. Her long, black hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and her deep brown eyes were filled with concern when she saw Jared.

“Jared, honey. Are you okay?” Cindy asked as she cupped Jared’s jaw in her hands.

“Mostly. I think I could use a run through the auto-healer. Cut myself on a razor fence.” Jared lifted his shirt to expose the Med patch.

“Someone took care of you,” Cindy said as she guided Jared to the examination table.

“Jensen did.”

Jensen felt his cheeks flush with fresh heat.

“Thank you, Jensen,” Jeff said. He grasped his nephew's shoulder again and squeezed gently.

“Well, Dani… Danneel. She’s an E.D. Med Tech. She fixed him up when I got him.”

Jeff’s eyebrows slid up towards his hairline. 

“Well,” Jensen said softly. “She came to see him when Jared first showed up.”

Nodding, Jeff rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip and looked back over at Jared. “You’ll be fine, son.”

While Cindy got Jared settled in the auto-healer, Jensen studied Jeff’s face. It was so strange to see him standing there looking so much like he always had, and so different at the same time.

“You alright, Jensen?” Jeff slid his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and took a few steps closer.

Jensen was a hundred different kinds of _not_ okay. He couldn’t make sense of anything that was happening. He didn't know what was the truth and what was a ruse to get him into the custody of the Blue Dove. And the man in front of him, his Uncle, he just shot holes in everything Jensen had been trained to believe. He was definitely _not_ okay. “I’m fine.”

“Let’s get you some quarters so you can relax, get some rest.” Jeff took a step closer and rested his hand on Jensen’s shoulder.

“Gonna lock me up now?” It was beginning to feel like Jensen was up to his eyeballs in trouble.

“Jensen, you’re not a prisoner here,” Jeff said quietly. He squeezed Jensen’s shoulder.

“No? I can leave here now if I want? Walk right out the door?” Jensen stared over at the door they had come through. As always, he was thankful for his training. He had memorized every turn they had made, every door. At least he could get out of the compound.

“Yeah, Jensen. You can walk out of here if you want but it’s already getting dark so I wouldn’t recommend it.” Jeff let go of Jensen’s shoulder and shifted his weight to his back foot. “Listen, Jensen-”

“You gonna give me another speech about how everything I learned was wrong? Jared’s been very good at that.”

Smiling, Jeff looked over at the auto-healer. “Jared is very passionate about his beliefs. It’s one of the reasons he’s so good at his job.”

“Breaking and entering? Spying? Telling me whatever he had to in order to get me here?” Jensen had reached his limit without even realizing it was approaching.

Jeff shook his head as his smile faded. “He’s a good guy, Jensen. He was just following orders.”

“The Blue Dove,” Jensen said flatly. “I must have apprehended a lot of your people while they were _doing their jobs._ ”

Finally, Jeff turned back to look at Jensen. “You have. My people know the risks when they accept their missions.”

“Your people?” Jensen exclaimed. “You make it sound like you’re running an army.”

“It’s been a long battle, Jensen. I’ve been fighting for change for a very long time.”

“What about the people who didn't want change? What happens to them if you are successful?” It was getting more and more difficult for Jensen to hold his tongue.

“I’m going to give you the video file of my first interrogation later. You take a look around here. Get to know the people,” Jeff said in a tight voice. “If, after all of that, you still think what we’re doing is wrong, I’ll go back with you and turn myself in.”

Jensen stared _hard_ at this Uncle’s face as he let the full meaning of his offer sink in. “You believe in what you’re doing so strongly?”

“I do, Jensen.” Jeff looked over at Jared again. The auto-healer had finished and Cindy was checking him over. “I don’t have kids of my own. That right was taken away from me, but I do what I do because I hoped that people like you and Jared wouldn’t have to face the same things I did.”

The emotion that was present in Jeff’s voice was also clear on his face and Jensen had to look away.

Jeff cleared his throat and rubbed at the growth of beard on his cheeks. “Let me show you around.”

-=-=-=-

By the time Jensen was finished his _tour_ , he was exhausted. The Blue Dove had a far better setup than Jensen had imagined.

There were hundreds of people working in the various areas he’d visited. He’d seen people being trained in hand to hand combat, a science Lab that rivaled the best one at the Church, some massive housing units that had been dug into the canyon walls. There was a weapons cache, an audio/visual Lab, a bay where a team of men and women were working on constructing a satellite uplink.

One of the most interesting places was the Agricultural area. In a huge cave where there was an underground Spring, a field with a variety of crops nurtured by overhead solar lighting. There were all kinds of experiments underway.

It certainly didn’t seem as though Jeff left out anything on his tour. And, the people who lived and worked at the Community, as Jeff called it, certainly seemed healthy and happy. There were children, couples, families and he even saw a couple of dogs. It was completely surreal.

When they were finally finished the tour, Jeff took Jensen by the back to the Med Lab where Jared was getting a follow up with Cindy.

“Jared,” Jeff said as he strode into the room. “All good?”

Jared rubbed a hand across his chest then down over a light scar. “Almost good as new.”

“Almost,” Cindy interjected. “You _know_ , you need to take it easy for a week at least. The muscles are more difficult to knit together. If you lift too-”

“-I know, I know,” Jared said with a huge grin on his face. “No lifting heavy objects or strenuous activities.”

Jensen smiled as he stared at Jared where he was sitting on the Exam table. He looked so much more relaxed now that he was back where he belonged. It was hard for Jensen to believe that the place was actually as perfect as it seemed, _very_ hard to believe.

“Well,” Jeff began. “I’ve assigned Jensen to the same hall as you. Room 118. Take him down there when you’re done here?”

For a brief moment, Jared’s gaze moved to Jensen before he looked back at Jeff and smiled again. “Sure. I think we’re done here.”

“We are,” Cindy said wearily. “And, I have a lot of work to get to so you should all clear out of here.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Jeff said. He was chuckling as he patted Jensen on the shoulder again. “There's a food replicator in your room or a cafeteria down the hall from you.”

“Okay.” Jensen nodded.

“Get some rest, okay?” Jeff added over his shoulder as he left the room.

-=-=-=-

There was an awkward silence between Jared and Jensen until they reached the room Jensen had been assigned. 

“Here it is,” Jared said. He had stopped in front of one of the series of doors in a long corridor. It was one of the Residential halls that Jensen had seen earlier when Jeff had been showing him around.

The room was small but looked comfortable enough. Jensen had stayed in far worse places when he was undercover.

Jared walked to the center of the room and looked around. “It’s not much but you’ll be more comfortable than you were in the tent.”

Shrugging, Jensen looked around. There was a small table, a couch, a food replicator and a bed. There were some old photographs on the wall, and Jensen walked over to one of them for a closer look.

The picture was of a city before _the swing_ and everything that followed. There were people on a cement pathway, walking, laughing and pointing. “What are they pointing at?”

“Hmm?” Jared walked over to Jensen’s side. He studied the photo for a few moments then shrugged a shoulder. “No idea. These are all photos that people have found.”

Photos belonging to people who were probably long dead. All images that captured moments that were lost in time and buried under small mountains of ash and crumbling concrete. “It’s kind of sad.”

There was nothing but silence for a while, then Jared turned away and headed back to the door. 

When Jensen looked up, he could see a pale flush on Jared’s cheeks. “I’ll leave you to get some rest.”

“Okay.”

“If you need anything, Jensen. I’m three doors down, same side and-”

“-I won’t need you,” Jensen said quickly. 

Hurt flickered across Jared’s face when he nodded. “Night.”

As small as the room was, it felt too big once Jared was gone. Jensen focussed on listening to the ambient sound; there wasn’t much. There was an underlying hum of some kind of power generator. Jeff had said that the majority of the power was solar generated so Jensen could be hearing an air circulation system. He heard someone laughing, voices that drew nearer and then faded away.

He sighed and sat down at the table. When his back hit the chair he felt the small data stick that Jeff had given him earlier. Reaching back, he pulled it out of his pocket. There was a Holo Viewer embedded in the wall. It was a little older than Jensen was used to and he had to hunt for a few moments until he found the opening for the stick.

When it clicked into place, the screen flashed and then he was looking at some kind of cell or prison room.

This time, it was his Uncle who was standing in the middle of the room. His arms were stretched up above his head, his wrists cuffed and chained to a hook hanging from the ceiling. His ankles were chained to a hook welded to the floor. He was clad only in a pair of jeans; there were some bruises down one side of his torso and one of his eyes was black. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and he looked as though he was struggling to breathe through pain.

Jeff looked _exactly_ as Jensen remembered him. He was younger, naturally, there was very little grey in his beard, and few wrinkles circling his eyes. It was definitely the man he remembered.

There were footsteps in the room and Jensen leaned closer without even realizing it.

The voice was vaguely familiar, deep, soft-spoken yet still had an edge enough that it left Jensen feeling unsettled.

“You’ve been here almost a week, Morgan. You’re forcing my hand.” When the owner of the voice moved into the frame, Jensen recognized him immediately. His name was Kurt Fuller. He was on some of the original training videos that Jensen had seen in the historical files. The man had been a vital part of the swing movement and the creation of the E.D. He had died of natural causes years before Jensen had been at the Academy.

Fuller stopped near Jeff’s side and leaned in close. “I’ve tried my best to be _civil_ with you. It’s really testing my patience.”

Jeff pulled his head up wearily and turned into his arm to wipe sweat from his cheek. “If this is civil I can’t wait until you lose your temper.”

Fuller paced around behind Jeff and when he reappeared there was a sneer on his face. “Oh, you’re going to love it. That bag over there by the door? It contains all kinds of tools you’ll love.”

“Do your best, hero.” The last word dripped with sarcasm and Jensen cringed as Jeff tried to stand up a little straighter.

Laughing, Fuller walked out of the frame for a couple of seconds then reappeared with a chair. He unbuttoned his suit jacket, sat down then crossed his legs. With his clasped hands resting on his thigh he looked like he was casually sitting in a waiting room.

“While you were in here lounging about,” Fuller began. “I paid a visit to your family.”

Jeff’s gaze snapped to Fuller’s and his brow furrowed. “They have _nothing_ to do with this.”

“Oh, I’m quite certain of that. Your brother-in-law isn’t the same _sort_ you are, and your sister seems scared of her own shadow.”

Looking a little relieved, Jeff lowered his gaze.

“The children are another story. So polite those three.”

Jensen saw Jeff’s shoulders stiffen but he remained silent.

“I understand you are very fond of... what’s his name? Oh yes. Jensen.”

When Jeff looked up, the fear on his face made Jensen sit back in his chair slightly. He had to fight the urge to turn off the video.

“Charming boy. Doesn’t have the slightest idea what a disappoint you are to the family. He’s still missing you a great deal-”

“-What the fuck do you want?” Jeff yelled. He was panting, arms shaking as he clenched his hands into fists and pulled pointlessly at his restraints.

“You know exactly what I want. That man you’ve been… _associating_ with… is a known terrorist. You tell us where we can find him and all this goes away.”

“I don’t know,” Jeff said through gritted teeth. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t betray him.”

“You tell me where Adam is and, let’s see, I’ll give young Jensen a career rather than a prison sentence.” Fuller looked pleased with himself and when Jensen glanced back over at his Uncle’s face he could see the fear clear as day.

 _Adam._ Jensen thought hard about the name as Fuller continued taunting Jeff on the video. _Adam._ Jensen’s eyes widened slowly as more pieces of the puzzle began to slide into place in his mind. _Adam Fergus_ , Mr. Fergus to young Jensen. He’d often been at Jeff’s home when Jensen had been there. Sometimes, he was working on something in the house, other times, his Uncle had simply said that his friend was there for dinner. The man with the Irish accent had been kind to Jensen and seemed to make his Uncle laugh a lot.

Jensen’s hand crept up to cover his mouth and he felt a weight of disbelief settling down on his shoulders. Adam had been the man that his Uncle shared his life with, Jensen was sure of it.

“You and Adam are sick, Jeff. You know that. There’s nothing _right_ or good about what you’ve exposed that little boy too. Did you really want him to turn out like you? What _did_ Adam get up to when he was alone with Jensen?” Fuller’s sneer had morphed into a sickening grin and Jensen wanted to punch him.

“You know that’s not what happened. Adam loves Jensen like he’s _our_ fucking son!” There were tears slipping from Jeff’s eyes and leaving streaks in the dirt on his face.

Jensen’s throat felt tight and he pressed the side of his fisted hand to his mouth. There was nothing dishonest about his Uncle’s face, _nothing_ at all.

“I suppose, Adam would be quite upset to find out that Jensen has been confined to be… re-educated,” Fuller said with fake sympathy oozing into his tone.

Jeff’s entire body jerked forward as he struggled against the strong chains that held him captive. “He’s a fucking child. You leave him alone. He’s done nothing - you. You can’t just take people’s children and make up fake charges.” Jeff seemed to run out of air and gasped for breath.

Standing very slowly, Fuller straightened his shirt then stepped forward. “There’s something you’re not grasping yet, Morgan. I can do _whatever_ I want to do.” 

Jeff shook his head slowly, more tears falling down his cheeks. “Not Jensen. Just leave my family alone… Please.” The last word sounded entirely too much like a plea for Jensen and he closed his eyes for a moment.

“Tell me where Adam Fergus is.”

For a few moments, there was silence on the video. When Jensen opened his eyes he could see the struggle on Jeff’s face, finally, the man let his head fall back and his shoulders jerked as though he had sobbed.

“Fine, I’ll tell you. But you have to guarantee me… you leave Jensen alone. Let him live his life.”

“I suspected as much. Of course, I’ll take care of Jensen. I’ve already made sure that he will be enrolled in the Academy if he applies and I’m quite certain his father is bright enough to see the wisdom of my advice.” Fuller leaned in closer and grinned like a predator expecting a very excellent meal. “Location.”

Jeff dropped his gaze to Fuller’s, took in a shuddering breath and dragged his tongue over his bottom lip. “Adam is with a small resistance group. They’re just outside the Dome.”

“Which area? Entrance? You want that boy safe? You make _certain_ I can find Adam exactly where he is.” Fuller glared at Jeff.

“Entrance C-511, near the 56th block of the Fringe,” Jeff said quietly. “It’s a maintenance port.”

“I’ll have some people check that out and we’ll get back to you.”

“You promised,” Jeff said in a panic.

“I didn’t _promise_ anything, Morgan. And you just gave up the man you supposedly loved so easily. What a treat this evening has-”

A crack startled Jensen so badly that he stood and almost fell backward over the chair. It clattered to the floor behind him as he stood there watching the video.

Fuller’s body hovered there for a few moments as a bloom of red appeared on the front of his white shirt. It grew, he pressed his hand over it then he turned slightly. “You…”

Fuller’s body seemed to collapse one muscle at a time. His left leg folded and he landed hard on his knee before he sank down on his ass. Finally, his eyes seemed to go a little dim and he fell backward, his head cracked onto the concrete with a dull thud.

Jeff was leaning as far away from the body as he could, his face was white and he looked like he was shaking. “What… you killed him. _Jesus_ Christ.”

The image began to disappear and Jensen realized that someone was spraying paint on the camera that was installed in the room. The sound went silent and the file ended.

“Holy shit,” Jensen murmured. His cheeks flamed with heat at his choice of words and he pressed his shaking hands to the table.

Things were _so_ very different than he’d thought they were. _Very_ different.

-=-=-=-

It took hours for Jensen to fall asleep and when he opened his eyes in the morning, it felt as though he’d been asleep only for a few minutes.

He rubbed at his eyes, took a deep breath and headed to the corner. There was an automated shower and Jensen stepped inside. The scalding, hot water was a welcome distraction from the way all of Jensen’s muscles ached. 

Before long, he was feeling a little more awake, was dressed and headed out into the hall. He wasn’t sure where he was headed. He thought about Jared for a moment, shook his head and then started walking towards the smell of food.

The cafeteria was a pleasant room. There were windows all down one wall that were tinted against the bright sunlight. There were two women at a table by the window and they smiled when they looked up.

Jensen nodded and headed over to the kitchen window. He ordered a breakfast from the menu and waited while it was prepared.

“Mornin’.”

When Jensen looked up, Jeff was standing in front of him. He smiled. “Hello.”

“Did you sleep well?” Jeff sipped the coffee he was holding.

“No. Thinking too much.” Jensen’s breakfast appeared on the counter and he thanked the person who had already disappeared back into the kitchen.

“Oatmeal and toast?” Jeff looked amused as he gestured to a table behind them.

They made themselves comfortable and Jensen smiled nervously. “It’s been a long time since I had food that didn’t come from a replicator.”

“Right. I forgot.” Looking around the cafeteria, Jeff looked thoughtful. “We decided on keeping this open because people enjoyed it. Social and shit.”

Jensen couldn’t help chuckling. “You’re not into all the social finery?”

“Well, I don’t know.” Jeff grinned as he set his coffee down. “I’m usually pretty busy but I have people who make sure I don’t overlook anything.”

Jensen took a bit of oatmeal and it reminded him of when he was a kid in the kitchen on Sunday mornings. “I watched the video.”

When Jeff looked up there was a haunted look in his eyes. “There’s still a lot for you to see before you make any decisions, Jensen.”

“I have a decision to make?” Of course, Jensen knew he had a decision to make. He had a _lot_ of decisions to make. He needed to think about the video he’d seen. He needed to understand what was going on between himself and Jensen. 

“I need your help, Jensen. That’s why I sent Jared. It’s time.”

“Time for what?” Jensen’s eyes widened slightly.

“I need you to work with me,” Jeff said as he stared at Jensen intently. “We have people in the ED… someone important but we need more people in the upper levels. It’s the only way we can find out what we need to know.”

“And what is it exactly that you need to know?” Jensen squared his shoulders and set his spoon down slowly.

“Most of that stuff you see on the news feeds? The terrorist attacks? That’s not us.” There was a dead serious expression on Jeff’s face and he was holding on to his coffee tightly. “We have all agreed on a policy of no injury. Killing people? That’s definitely not our style. We don’t want people to hate us, think about it. There’s no advantage to being hated by everyone because we’ve killed their family members.”

It _did_ make sense to Jensen, but he found it difficult to believe that there was someone in the Church who was able to coordinate something as insanely complex as staging explosions and protests that resulted in casualties. “That would take a lot of authority and a lot of intelligence.”

Jeff nodded, took another sip of his coffee then set it down. “There’s lot around here you still have to see and there’s someone I need you to meet. Chad Lindberg is our local computer expert. He’s the one Jared was bringing the code back for and I want you to talk to him about what he thinks might be going on.”

Jensen sighed and pushed his breakfast away. His stomach was suddenly feeling a little queasy again.

-=-=-=-

Chad Lindberg seemed a little too close to insane as far as Jensen was concerned. But, once he’d been in his company for about ten minutes, it was easy to see why Jeff was working with him. He had an insane mind, to be sure, but he was also one of the most intelligent people that Jensen had ever encountered.

“Let me get this straight,” Jensen said for about the fifth time since he’d arrived at the Tech center.

Chad spun on his chair until he was looking at Jensen. He kicked his feet up on the desk in front of him and tucked his hands behind his head. If he had a drink in front of him, it would be easy to picture him on a beach somewhere… if there still were beaches.

Jensen shook the image away and concentrated. “You think that someone in the IT department has cracked into the system and is posting manufactured events. But, they’re controlling people who _think_ , for all intents and purposes, that they’re _in_ the Blue Dove... only they’re not.”

“Right! He can be taught!” Chad declared proudly. His feet thumped back down to the floor and he wheeled his chair closer. “This person is good. I’m not gonna say they’re as good as me, ‘cause the chances of there being two of us that are _this_ good are pretty slim. But whoever this person is? Very smart.”

“How can all these people not realize that the Blue Dove they’re working for isn’t even real?” It was a bit mind-boggling to Jensen. He had to see things in front of him to believe them. He couldn’t fathom being the kind of person who would follow deadly orders when they were sent by some anonymous message.

“When you’re scared, when you want change enough… maybe that makes you want to believe in the slightest possibilities.”

Chad swept his dirty blonde hair back off his forehead.

“People are really so desperate for things to be different,” Jensen said.

The thin blonde nodded at Jensen even though he probably knew it wasn’t a question. Jensen shook his head again. Jensen shook his head again. He had made a terrible mistake in underestimating the passion of people who were rebelling against the government.

Jensen sighed as he turned back to the strings of code, Chad flipped over to the holo viewer in front of him. Jensen had learned enough coding in the Academy to see what Chad had pointed out. There were minute inconsistencies in the coding that indicated it had been changed from its original state. As part of the Security measures at The Church, all coding was marked by a genetic sequence from the Author’s DNA. The changes had been made by someone whose DNA… was that of a dove.

It was certainly clever. Chad was correct in assuming that the job was done by a great mind. Jensen knew every, single individual on Staff at the Church and he couldn’t think of anyone who fit the bill.

“What are you thinking about?” Chad leaned in a little too close to Jensen and popped a dried cherry into his mouth.

“Running through the staff in my mind. I can’t think of anyone who has the skill to do this kind of thing.”

“Imagine it was in the works for a while. This person had to be talented enough to get noticed by the Church and admitted to the Academy but not smart enough to stand out once they were on staff.”

“So, how do we find them?”

“We need someone on the inside who can compare the logs to the shifts worked by the employees,” Chad answered. He shoved off using Jensen’s chair and wheeled back to his own workstation.

Jeff had said that it was safe to discuss anything with Chad but Jensen still found himself feeling hesitant. “What about the person you have on the inside?”

“Well, _that_ person isn’t in a position to check the logs. All the Holologs are filed away in the personnel department. There is no way to check without it being documented.” Another cherry flew into Chad’s mouth and he munched loudly.

“How exactly does Jeff expect me to help with that?” Brow furrowed, Jensen leaned in closer to the desk again so that he could read over the code for the third time.

Pointing at the center of his own chest, Chad grinned. “That’s where I come in. I’ve developed a cloaker program. Can’t be sent electronically without exposing everyone involved.”

“Right,” Jensen said. He rubbed at his forehead and squinted slightly at the image in front of him. “You need someone to transport the code in on their person so there’s no trail.

“Bingo!” For emphasis, Chad spun around once in his chair. “Our rep on the inside has the code phrase and will - well, Jeff can give you all the details when you agree to help us.”

“If,” Jensen answered. His head was pounding and he was getting tired again.

“If what?” Chad picked up the last cherry and ate it.

“ _If_ I decide to help Jeff. If.” Jensen took a deep breath before blowing it out slowly.

“How the hell could you say no after everything you’ve seen?” There was genuine shock on Chad’s face. His eyes were wide and his jaw had dropped open far enough for the half-chewed cherry to be clearly visible.

Feeling a little defensive, Jensen folded his arms across his chest. “I haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet.”

Nodding slowly, Chad rubbed at the peach fuzz on his chin. “You better do some serious thinking. This is something you need to do. If you care about people anyway.”

Frowning, Jensen looked away. He was getting really tired of defending himself. It may be obvious to everyone at the Blue Dove but people seemed to keep forgetting that Jensen was only beginning to find out the details for the first time. He was a fish out of water.

-=-=-=-

Jeff had been honest about Jensen being free to move around as he pleased. He spent most of his afternoon traveling from one section of the Community to another. The end game may be changing but he still wanted to learn as much as he could about the Blue Dove.

About the time he realized that he was mentally exhausted, he began to think about Jared again.

Hazel eyes flashed in Jensen’s mind, the warmth of the fleeting grin he’d seen. Jensen realized, at some point during the day, he started wondering what Jared’s thoughts were about certain things.

Of course, he had no idea where to find Jared. Jensen wasn’t even sure what Jared’s role was while he was at _home._

By about 1600 hours, Jensen found himself back at Jeff’s office.

He knocked before stepping into the dimly lit room. “Jeff?”

“Over here.” The voice came from a desk nestled against the back wall of the room. There was a small lamp that beamed down a circle of light onto the papers scattered in front of Jeff.

“Am I interrupting?”

Jeff took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes. “You are but I think I’m glad. I’ve been reading this for an hour already and it’s not making much sense.”

Jensen gestured to the surface of the desk. “Paper.”

Nodding, Jeff smiled and set his glasses down. “Sometimes, things make more sense to me when I can hold them in my hands. Makes it a little more real.”

Jensen hadn’t spent a lot of time reading from paper so he didn’t really know what Jeff meant. He nodded anyway and sat down in front of the desk.

“What did you think of Chad?”

“He’s a little odd but smart as hell.” Jensen was still a little uncomfortable swearing, but it was getting a lot easier. Or it could be that he felt like swearing the more complex things got.

Jeff was still smiling. “Quirky as fuck, but the guy is amazing. He talk to you about the coding we need taken back to the Church?”

Nodding, Jensen leaned forward slightly and studied Jeff’s expression. “That’s what you want me to do.”

“That’s part of it,” Jeff answered. “We have a key operative inside who needs some support. All that violence isn’t helping anyone.”

“The people Cindy talked about being shot. That must have happened at some of these events.” It was a hell of a task for Jensen to sort everything out.

“You’re right. We _have_ done some of the protests. The issue is that the bombings, that kind of violence is _not_ coming from us. It’s never our intention to cause anyone physical harm.” There was a sincerity in Jeff’s eyes that was difficult to ignore.

“The attack on the Glide Train?”

Jeff shook his head.

“What about the Blossom Festival bombing?” Jensen asked.

“Not us.”

Jensen frowned as he tried to think through the events of the past year. “The protest in front of the Church?” Fifteen people had been shot and the official statement from the Church had been that members of the Blue Dove were responsible.

“We were there. I helped organize the protest myself, but all my people were unarmed,” Jeff explained. “You’ve seen the weapons we have here, they’re non-lethal except for the blades. The lockup that contains the projectile weapons is for hunting and protecting the Community and it’s coded to my DNA.”

Jensen remembered the protest. While he hadn’t been at the Church then, he had received news updates about it. “The official report stated that the Blue Dove opened fire first. That’s why the E.D. crowd team that was dispatched was armed with lethals.”

“I swear to you, Jensen. The first shots were fired by either the E.D. team or by people who _thought_ they had joined the Blue Dove and were following some lunatic.” Jeff leaned back in his chair and looked a little frustrated. “Chad talk to you about that?”

Nodding, Jensen sighed. “He did. At first, I figured it was a far-fetched idea. But it’s a good move tactically. Makes you guys look really bad and the E.D. gets to swoop in and look like the saviors.

A smile crept back onto Jeff’s face. “Careful, Jensen. You’re sounding like a convert.”

Change had been creeping up on Jensen since the moment he’d met Jared. He couldn’t even pinpoint the moment when he’d gone from towing the party line to beginning to see where the Blue Dove’s motives made sense. “You’re my Uncle.”

“I’m glad you don’t believe I’m an impostor anymore.” Jeff chuckled and his eyes filled with warmth.

Jensen couldn’t help blushing. He must have sounded like a raving lunatic when he had first arrived. “I was confused. I… still am. A lot of this makes sense. It explains why there were some loose ends in some cases. _God_ , I should have seen what was going on all the time.”

Jensen rubbed a hand down his face and squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments.

“I suppose I’ll have to keep tellin’ you that you couldn’t have known. I figure, Jared probably told you that too.” Jeff slipped his dark jacket off and let it hang over the back of his chair.

“I should let you get back to work,” Jensen said quietly. “Any idea where I might find Jared?”

For the briefest moment, Jeff’s brow furrowed then he nodded. “Probably in the Library. Head back towards your quarters but turn off just before the Cafeteria. Third door on the left.”

“Thanks.” Jensen smiled and headed back out into the hall.

=-=-=-

When Jensen found Jared, he was in a room full of books. It could probably be called a Library but Jensen had a feeling that most of the books would be banned in a normal Library.

He opened the door quietly and closed it behind him. Jared looked up from his book and smiled before looking back down at it.

Jensen headed over to the nearest shelf and ran his fingers along the spines. The letters were all unfamiliar, a lot of authors he hadn’t heard of. So many books.

“We all bring them back here whenever we find them,” Jared said without looking up from his book.

“There’s a lot of them.” As he walked along the shelf, Jensen glanced over at Jared. “What are you reading?”

“ _Giovanni’s Room_ by James Baldwin.”

“What’s it about?” Jensen walked over and sat down beside Jared on the couch. He ran his hand over the smooth surface of it; it felt like it might be real leather. Jensen had only seen that once before.

“I just started it. I think this man is going to get in trouble.” Resting the book in his lap, Jared rubbed his thumb over the page as though he was feeling it for the first time.

“Why?”

“Because he’s denying who he is. I can tell already.”

Jensen shrugged. “We all do that to a certain extent.”

When Jared turned to look at Jensen, he raised his eyebrows. “Do you really think so?”

The strange thing was that Jensen wasn’t really sure what he thought about anything. Even something as simple as the plot of a book seemed too complex for him to figure out. Nothing seemed simple to Jensen, nothing straight-forward. “I don’t know.”

A small smile curved its way onto Jared’s lips. “Do you know who _you_ are?”

The question made Jensen’s breath catch in his chest. It wasn’t so much the question as it was his answer. He had no idea who he was, not anymore.

Jensen’s eyes widened slightly as he sat there looking at the man in front of him. His throat began to feel tight and sore, his eyes burned as though they were tired. He looked up at Jared but words wouldn’t come.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jared said quietly. He reached towards Jensen, hesitated then slid his fingers over Jensen’s shoulder.

When Jared’s thumb touched Jensen’s neck, it sent a little shockwave through his body.

Jensen’s eyes burned and he felt tears well hot and heavy before trailing down his cheeks.

“Jensen.” Leaning closer, Jared let his hand slid up to curve along Jensen’s cheek. “It’s okay.”

Before he’d even thought about it, Jensen was shaking his head; he didn’t even know why.

“Please, Jensen.”

What was Jared asking for? Did he want Jensen to return to being stoic and sure? Maybe he wanted Jensen to tell him what was going on in his mind. Jensen knew he couldn’t do either. He shook his head slowly and tried to move away from Jared’s hand.

Jared lifted his other hand and cupped Jensen’s jaw.

Their gazes were locked, and Jensen felt trapped there by those hazel-flecked eyes. He could feel his blood racing, warming his skin and making him feel a bit light-headed.

Jared leaned in closer, blinking slowly. His tongue ran over his lips and his smile faded.

Frozen there, Jensen lifted a trembling hand and pressed it against Jared’s chest. His fingers curled into Jared’s shirt slowly.

Jensen’s lashes fluttered closed as Jared closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Jensen’s.

Jensen gasped, lips parting and Jared brushed his lips back and forth gently and _want_ sparked through Jensen’s veins. It was like being set alight and frozen at the same time. His heart was racing and he couldn’t help the way his body leaned in closer, nearer, he wanted-

“Jared!”

The deep voice cracked through the haze that had enveloped Jensen. He shoved Jared back and his boots slipped on the floor as he tried to move further back on the couch.

Jared shot up to his feet and the book he’d been holding fell to the floor. “Jeff, I-”

“You’re needed in the science lab,” Jeff barked.

Frowning, Jared shook his head slightly. He glanced down at Jensen then back up at Jeff. “Jeff, it’s not-”

“-Don’t. No discussion,” Jeff said. His voice was lower, almost menacing. “Go. Now.”

Jared closed his eyes for a couple of seconds, then nodded curtly. “Jensen, come and talk to me later.”

Still frozen to the spot, Jensen just stared at Jared until he finally strode towards the door.

Jeff lingered by the door until the sound of Jared’s footsteps faded away then he walked over to sit beside Jensen. “You okay?”

“No,” Jensen answered honestly. “Everything that I’ve believed for years is _wrong_. My job is based on lies. I’m responsible for people dying-”

“-you didn’t know what was going on, Jensen. How could you prevent something you weren’t even aware of? This isn’t-”

“-I didn’t even _look_ to find out where they were keeping you, Jeff! My own Uncle and I didn’t even check to see what you were incarcerated for. Jared told me. How messed up is that?” Jensen threw his hands up in the air and panted a little as he tried to slow the thoughts that were flipping through his mind at light speed.

“Jensen, calm down,” Jeff said quietly but firmly.

“Don’t _manage_ me, Jeff. I’m not one of your trainees.” His tone was sharp but Jensen had reached his limit. Nothing was what he’d thought and he wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to do with his Uncle back in his life.

“Don’t use that tone with me,” Jeff said as he shifted closer to his nephew. “Now, listen. You’re wiped out. You haven’t slept properly in days, you’re trying to process a hell of a lot of information.”

When Jensen opened his mouth to argue, Jeff silenced him with a fierce gaze. “You need to get some sleep. Stop by the Med Bay. I already asked Cindy to give you something to help you get some rest. She’s expecting you.”

A protest popped into Jensen’s mind but he held his tongue. Getting into a fight with Jeff wouldn't accomplish anything. “You gave up Adam to save me.”

The expression on Jeff’s face softened and he dropped his gaze for a moment. “Yeah, son. I did.”

“He must have hated you,” Jensen said shakily. It had taken a full night of tossing and turning for the full impact of what his Uncle had done to settle in Jensen’s mind.

“He was pissy for a while, but that was because I got myself picked up in the first place. He loved you; I used to tease him and say that he only was with me because he wanted to hang out with you,” Jeff said fondly.

“Wait. You… he didn’t get caught? What…” Thoughts were whirling around in Jensen’s mind again. Each time he thought that he had figured something out he was wrong.

“No,” Jeff said as he shook his head. “Once Fuller was down, we were able to get him to safety. He was… we had a few good years before he died on a mission.” The sadness that had crept on to Jeff’s face was difficult to see.

“I’m so sorry,” Jensen said. And he was, which was strange because he’d never really thought about what it would be like for a man to lose his partner. It wasn’t that he thought it wasn't a real loss, it just hadn't ever occurred to him that it happened. “I remember him.”

“You do?” Jeff’s expression lightened a little and he smiled slightly. “He spoiled you rotten whenever he got the chance. I figured you were too young to remember much.”

“I remember… he made you smile a lot,” Jensen said. “I liked him.”

Nodding, Jeff looked down as his smile wavered. He cleared his throat after a while and wiped at his eyes. “I’m glad.”

Jensen’s heart was aching and his chest felt tight.

“You should go to the Med Lab,” Jeff said in a gruff voice.

The way Jensen’s eyes were aching, he felt as though he could sleep for about a hundred years. He was actually beginning to hope that the just wouldn’t ever have to wake up. He nodded and stood so quickly he stumbled slightly.

“You want me to come with you?” Worry was written all over Jeff’s face.

Jensen shook his head. He didn’t want to be with anyone, let alone the most confusing person in his life. Without waiting for Jeff to say anything else, Jensen strode towards the door. he was halfway down the hallway when he decided to go and see Cindy. If nothing else, he could be distracted.


	5. Chapter 5

When Jensen poked his head into the Med Center, Cindy was viewing something on the holo projector on her desk. “Are you able to see me, Cindy?”

When she looked up, Cindy was grinning. “Absolutely, Jensen. Come on in. Have a seat. Your Uncle asked me to give you something to help you sleep.”

“Yeah, he told me.” Jensen took the chair next to Cindy’s desk. “It won’t knock me out completely, will it?” Even though Jensen knew he needed some rest, he didn’t like the idea of not having any control over himself.

“No, it will just help you to relax.” Cindy pulled up a Holo and began to formulate a medication. “I’ll make sure it doesn’t affect your thought processes or memory. No grogginess.” Cindy smile and Jensen returned the smile easily.

“Have you been here long? With the Blue Dove?” Back to his default; stone number one was always Jensen’s work.

“About a year working here in the Center.” Cindy submitted the formula she had perfected. The Med replicator behind her began to buzz quietly. “It’ll just be a minute.”

Jensen nodded and looked around the Med Center. It was equipped with all of the most modern features, good equipment and it was all well maintained. “Looks just like the Med Center my friend works in.”

“Good, isn’t it? I can handle Level four traumas. Me and two Med Assistants and with this equipment, we can deal with ten patients.”

“Very state-of-the-art,” Jensen said as he nodded appreciatively.

“It was Jeff,” Cindy offered.

“Hmm?”

“We were losing too many people because we weren’t able to help them. He worked very hard to put all of this together.”

“Losing people how?”

For a while, Cindy just studied Jensen’s face, then she leaned back in her chair. “I _know_ what you do, Jensen, so I know that you’re well aware of how people who are in the Blue Dove get injured.”

Jensen was still clinging to his old beliefs, in spite of indications that he was wrong. “Terrorist attacks. The security force doesn’t use lethal force though. There are no weapons that fire lethal projectiles-” 

Cindy raised her hand to silence Jensen. She leaned forward, tapped the front of the desk and a tray slid out. She picked up a small container and held it out for Jensen.

The first thought in Jensen’s mind was that he _really_ didn’t want any more surprises. But… the more he could find out, the more pieces of the puzzle he could put together. He clenched his fist together for a few seconds then took the container from Cindy’s hand.

When he looked down into the small container, Jensen sucked in a quick breath. The container was full of bullets. The calibers varied; some of them were damaged and misshapen, Jensen had seen pictures of enough of them to know exactly what they were.

Cindy sighed. “There are twenty-three bullets in there. I know that because I pulled each one of them out of someone’s body.”

Jensen set the container back in the tray and rubbed his hands on his pants. He _never_ wanted to see them again. “How many people died?”

“I lost fifteen of them before we had modern enough equipment.” Cindy looked down at her hands as though she was trying to figure out what went wrong.

“And now?”

“We do better now. We save most of the people who are brought back here.” When Cindy looked up again there was a smile on her face once more. “It’s a lot to deal with.”

Frowning, Jensen tilted his head slightly.

Cindy looked down at her clasped hands. “All the deaths happened here.”

Blinking slowly, Jensen reached out, hesitated briefly, then slipped his hand over both of Cindy’s. “You’re not responsible for the people who died here.”

When Cindy met Jensen’s gaze, her expression softened. “It’s not that easy to believe that though, is it.”

Smiling, Jensen looked down and shook his head. “You’ve been talking to Jeff.”

Cindy shook her head. “Jared actually. He told me he was worried about you because of all the things you were having to come to terms with.”

“It’s a lot to process... And, I’m not feeling so good at my job right now.”

“You couldn’t have known what was going on, Jensen.”

Jensen shook his head slowly. “Jeff saw through it, Jared… you… I’m sure most of the people here did. Why didn’t I?”

Cindy sighed again. “You weren’t looking for it, Jensen. No one can fault you for doing what you thought would make the world a better place. You _thought_ you were doing the right thing.”

“My job is to figure things out; to try and get to the truth.”

“And, you’ve done that,” Cindy said with a warm smile on her face. Her slender fingers curled around Jensen’s hand and she took a deep breath as she stared into his eyes. “The meds will be ready. Listen do you want to go and get a drink with me? Talk? Or not talk... whatever makes you happy.”

Cindy’s wide, dark brown eyes were pretty and her face was warm, friendly. She may well be the one person who _could_ understand how Jensen felt about things; what he was dealing with. 

He nodded.

-=-=-=-

It turned out that, amongst many other things, there was a social area for people to cut loose a little. It was a free-standing building on the outer edge of the canyon with a bar that served spirits and the refined drugs that were on the approved list. There were some activities, holographic pool tables and plenty of private booths.

Cindy and Jensen sat near the bar in one of the booths. The seats were soft and comfortable and Jensen settled back with the drink Cindy had chosen for him. He’d never had alcohol. As a Key Enforcer, he was barred from drinking, he even lived in a dry neighborhood. When Cindy had asked him if he wanted a drink, it seemed like the perfect time to begin breaking some rules.

“I’ve never had a drink, you know,” Jensen said. The blue glass in his hand sparkled as he moved it slightly.

“Oh my God, Jensen. It’s one of the _best_ things in life. There’s nothing like being able to _forget_ everything for a while. Big relief. Huge.” Cindy held up her own blue glass then brought it to her lips.

Laughing, Jensen lifted his glass and took a sip. It _was_ good; it tasted a little like almonds. “it’s nice.”

Sweeping her long, black hair back off her face, Cindy grinned. “You just wait, Jensen. That’s only the first sip.”

“Trying to get me drunk?”

“Probably wouldn’t hurt, ya know. It might help you to forget everything for a little while. You look like you could use a break from trying to be responsible for everything. I formulated the Meds so you could drink if you wanted.” Cindy had another drink and winked.

Jensen laughed again, some of the tension finally leaving his shoulders. He drank some more and then set the glass down. “I’m really glad i came to see you today. I think… I needed someone to talk to.”

“You’ve been through the wars. It can’t be easy,” Cindy said. She leaned forward and covered Jensen’s hand with her own.

“I’m beginning to wish that I’d never come here in the first place… or that Jared had never come to find me.” Jensen smiled wryly and tapped his fingers against his glass.

“He’s Jeff’s favorite, you know.” Cindy winked. “There’s speculation that he’s interested in him. But, you know how workplace gossip is.”

Jensen actually had no idea what workplace gossip was like. He didn’t really spend much time chatting with his colleagues. But, the idea of Jared with Jeff made him feel a little nauseous. “Homosexuality is still a crime.”

“Not out here, Sunshine.” Cindy laughed and squeezed Jensen’s hand. “Out here… well, I happen to think of it as pretty hot, but you know, that’s just me.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat made Jensen sit back quickly. When he looked up, he saw Jared standing a few feet away, fists clenched at his sides.

“Jared!” Cindy shifted over and patted the seat beside her. “Join us, sit!”

Jared shook his head slowly and sighed. “I was just looking for Jensen. I thought he could use a friendly face. But, I see he already found one.”

“I went to get the Meds that-”

Jared shrugged and smiled coldly. “There’s no need to explain anything to me, Jensen. _No_ reason at all.“ Jared nodded at Cindy. “See you later, Cyn.”

“Party pooper,” Cyndy said to Jared’s back as he walked away.

Jensen just stared. Half of his mind was relieved that he wouldn’t have to face Jared for a while, the other half was sad and he didn’t even know why.

“I spent four full days with him before we got here and I don’t understand him at all,” Jensen said quietly.

“Men are complicated.” Cindy laughed and had another sip of her drink. Her gaze settled on Jensen’s hand. “You’re not partnered. Are you complicated too?”

If there was an innuendo hidden in Cindy's question, Jensen chose to ignore it. “Not that I’m aware of.”

“Married to your job?”

“You might say that,” Jensen answered. “I work undercover a lot. I don’t think that would work for a relationship. And... anyway. I - I don’t think I know what I want. All I do is work.” 

Cindy tilted her head slightly and narrowed her gaze. “Are you working now, Mr. Ackles?”

Jensen took a sip of his drink as he thought about it. It was a question he’d never even considered before. “I don’t think I am, Cindy. Not anymore.”

Cindy held up her glass. “Let’s drink to that then!”

-=-=-=-

By the time Jensen was headed to the sleeping quarters he’d been assigned, he was a bit drunk. He knew he was drunk because he was having trouble walking in a straight line.

After four drinks, Cindy had suggested that he stop but Jensen had been enjoying the feeling of numbness that had settled over him. It was good not to be worried about every little thing. It was all still there: the confusion, the worries, all the messed up things he had to sort through but it was fuzzy and hidden away.

The one thing had remained clear was Jared. He’d looked so disappointed when he’d seen Jensen talking with Cindy and it made no sense at all.

The look on his face made Jensen feel a little sick. Cindy had brushed it off, said that Jared was moody sometimes but that didn’t feel right to Jensen.

And he _really_ wanted to ask Jared about Jeff. He wanted to know about the _rumors_ regarding Jeff and Jared. In Jensen’s experience, where there was smoke, there was fire. Half his brain was wondering about their relationship while the other half had no desire to know what was going on.

“When did everything get so complicated?” Jensen asked the empty hallway in front of him. “And why is no one watching me?”

If Jensen ran the Blue Dove, he certainly wouldn't let a Key Enforcer wander around by himself. It was almost like Jeff trusted him, and didn’t have anything to hide. Or, that was exactly what Jeff _wanted_ him to think.

Jensen looked around and spotted the numbers above the doors. “Thirteen, fourteen… fifteen. Jared.”

Lifting his hand slowly, Jensen paused for a few moments then banged his fist on it three times.

There was a noise behind the door and then it slid open. Jared blinked in the hallway light and his gaze darkened when he saw Jensen. “It’s late. What do you want?”

“I wanna talk,” Jensen said. He leaned against the door frame because it didn’t seem like Jared was going to invite him in.

Jared’s eyes narrowed and he folded his arms across his chest. “You’re drunk.”

Nodding, Jensen pressed his lips together for a few moments. “Cindy introduced me to some spirits.”

“Go get some sleep, Jensen. We can talk when you’re sober.” Jared reached out to tap the door panel and Jensen grabbed his wrist.

“Jared, just let me in. I won’t stay long. I just really want to talk to you,” Jensen said quietly.

For a long time, Jared just stared. Finally, he nodded and stepped back inside his room.

Pushing off the doorframe, Jensen took a few steps into the dimly lit room. It looked almost the same as the room Jensen had been assigned. The bed was messed up, and Jensen looked over at Jared. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. Quickly averting his gaze, Jensen wandered over to the table and sat down at one of the chairs.

Jared headed to the Replicator and tapped a few numbers on the keypad. He slid a glass into it and liquid poured down. He grabbed the glass, walked over and set it down in front of Jensen. “Drink.”

“What is it?”

“A hydrator. So, you won’t get a really bad hangover.”

“What’s a hangover?” Jensen frowned and picked the drink up so he could sniff it.

“I’m afraid you’ll probably find out in a few hours,” Jared answered flatly.

Jensen shrugged and took a few sips of the drink. It tasted fruity. He set it down and rubbed both hands over his face.

“You okay?” Jared’s feet made no sound as he walked over to sit down on the chair next to Jensen at the small table.

“Are you involved with Jeff?” It wasn’t exactly how Jensen had meant to ask the question. He wasn’t even sure that he had wanted to ask the question at all.

“Involved?” There was a look of complete shock on Jared’s face. “Are you serious?”

“I’m curious. He was pretty angry when he found us together.”

“I can’t believe you would ask me that,” Jared said quietly. His shoulders slumped and he closed his eyes for a few moments.

“Cindy said that people talk about you and Jeff being involved,” Jensen said. He took a deep breath to try and stop the room from tilting to the side but it didn't seem to make any difference.

“People talk shit all the time,” Jared said grimly. “it’s one of the ways they entertain themselves.”

“So, are you?” As far as Jensen could tell, Jared hadn’t actually denied anything and that spoke volumes.

Jared stood so quickly, his chair slid back and hit the wall.

Jensen flinched back when Jared grabbed hold of his jacket and yanked him to his feet. “You need to go to your bunk and get some sleep.”

As he began to manhandle Jensen towards the door, Jared grunted.

“Hey! We’re talking,” Jensen protested. His shoulders bumped against Jared’s chest and then he found himself being slammed back against the wall by the door.

“You’re not talking; you’re leaving,” Jared said in clipped tones.

Jensen grabbed Jared’s arms to steady himself. “Stop it. I was only asking a question, there’s no reason for you to get all bent out of shape.”

“Get out, Jensen. Sober up then we’ll talk.”

Jensen pushed off the wall and slid his arms around Jared’s waist. He didn’t understand why Jared wanted him to leave. They’d just been getting to know each other and things were good. But Jeff… and Jared.

A flash of jealousy burned into Jensen’s chest and he leaned in and crushed his mouth against Jared’s. Jared seemed to freeze for a moment, his mouth relaxed under Jensen’s and he made a low sound, deep in his throat. The level of heat in Jensen’s body soared and he slid his tongue forward.

Then everything changed. Jared’s arms swung down and he broke Jensen’s hold on his hips.

Momentarily knocked off balance, Jensen fell forward against Jared’s chest.

Jared swung his hand up and shoved Jensen away so aggressively that Jensen careened back until he hit the opposite wall. His hip knocked hard against the headboard on the bed and his head slammed into a photo that was hanging up behind him.

As he slid down the wall, Jensen could feel a dull pain on the back of his head. Something warm dripped down the back of his neck and slipped under the collar of his shirt. He blinked as he looked up at Jared.

“Jensen, I’m sorry,” Jared said grimly. He squinted as he peered across at Jensen then swore softly. He turned and opened a cupboard door.

“I’ll get out of here,” Jensen said flatly. Suddenly, he didn’t feel drunk at all. His head hurt, his stomach was all twisted up in knots and his chest ached. He wasn’t even sure how things had gone _so_ wrong _so_ quickly.

“No. I’ve messaged Cindy. She’s on her way.”

“Cindy?”

Jared knelt down beside Jensen and pressed a small towel to the back of his head. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m sorry.” Jensen really wanted the world to slow down. Things kept happening way too quickly and he was starting to think that he couldn’t keep up.

“Let’s just get you fixed up, okay?”

Jensen nodded and realized that the back of his head was really beginning to hurt. More than the pain in his head though, he felt embarrassed. “I’m going crazy, aren’t I?”

“What?” Jared pulled the towel away briefly so he could look at it, then he pressed it back against Jensen’s skull.

“I’m going completely insane. I shouldn’t have come here,” Jensen said quietly.

“You were drunk.”

“No. Here… I shouldn’t have come to this place with you. I should have called it in, called and had you taken into custody.” That was the answer to the storm whirling in Jensen’s mind. He wanted to travel back in time and change things.

“Jen-”

The chime on Jared’s door sounded and Jared leaned back quickly to open the door.

“Hello, boys,” Cindy said as she walked in. “Everything okay here?”

“You’re drunk,” Jensen said. He saw how Cindy swayed when she had walked into her room earlier.

“Not anymore. Thanks to you two I had to take a purifier. Waste of good alcohol.”

Jared grabbed Jensen’s arm and helped him up to his feet. “Sit on the bed so Cindy can fix you up.”

Doing as he was told, Jensen moved towards the bed and sank down onto it gratefully. It was much more comfortable than the floor. 

“Can someone tell me what happened?” Cindy set her bag down on the table, opened it and pulled out a handheld Med scanner.

“He hit his head on the picture. Broke it… cut it open,” Jared said quietly.

“You pushed me.”

“You _kissed_ me.”

Smirking, Cindy sat down beside Jensen. “Amusing as that was, I really only needed to hear about Jensen’s head.”

Jensen leaned forward so Cindy could have a look. “I did kiss him,” he murmured into his hands.

“Jensen, stop talking,” Jared grumbled.

“You two are certainly the most amusing late night call I’ve had in a very long time.” While she was scanning Jensen’s head, Cindy nodded and slid the scanner back into her bag. She pulled out a patch and activated it.

“Jensen?” Cindy put the patch over the cut on the back of Jensen’s head. 

“Yeah?”

“The conversation you and I had earlier makes much more sense now.” Cindy looked over her shoulder at Jared as she finished speaking.

“It does? I’m glad someone understands what I’m doing,” Jensen muttered. Gone was the pleasant buzz of being drunk, and he just felt tired.

“You’ll live,” Cindy said as she patted Jensen’s shoulder. “Do you two need a referee or are you okay for the time being?”

“We’re fine.” Leaning against the opposite wall, Jared had his arms folded protectively across his chest.

For a few moments, Cindy stared at Jensen, then she squeezed his shoulder once more and stood. “Can I have a word with you outside, Jared?”

He looked skeptical, but Jared finally nodded.

Left alone in Jared’s room, Jensen looked around. The room was more lived in, homier than the one Jensen had been assigned. There were some photos of people on the small table. Some of the faces looked familiar and could have been people Jensen had seen since he’d arrived. One of them looked older and more faded. It looked like a small family. There were a lot of books on a shelf above the bed; that came as no surprise to Jensen. He couldn’t make out any of the titles but his eyes weren’t focussing very well.

When Jared came back into his room, he looked different. He looked more calm for some reason. He hesitated a moment and then sat down by Jensen on the bed.

Glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, Jensen smiled slightly.

“I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time.

Jared chuckled and Jensen managed a weak smile. “Drinking may have been a bad choice.”

“It often is,” Jared answered. “If it makes you feel any better, I threw up on Jeff the first time I was drunk.”

A little surprised, Jensen looked up with wide-eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah. He rarely misses an opportunity to bring it up. He says it’s all part of _growing up_. Figured as a surrogate father he owed it to me to let me learn the hard way.”

It took a few moments for the words to sink in, then Jensen found himself feeling a little sheepish. He’d obviously read things completely wrong between Jared and Jeff.

“Listen,” Jensen began. “I’m sorry about listening to the gossip. And for jumping to conclusions. I’m not used to being around this many people. My job is pretty solitary.”

Remaining silent, Jared nodded and looked down at where his fingers were intertwined in his lap.

“It’s like a different world,” Jensen added softly.

This time, Jared shook his head. “It’s not _like_ a different world, Jensen. It _is_ a different world. I’ve spent a long time here, being who I am, living a free life.”

“I didn't think I wasn’t free,” Jensen said thoughtfully. He could safely say that until the very first moment he’d see Jared, things had felt perfectly fine. Well… maybe they’d just felt familiar. Everything seemed new and different since they’d met.

“And now?” Very slowly, Jared unclasped his hands and he rested one beside Jensen’s on the bed.

The heat of Jared’s hand against Jensen’s made him look away. It set off a little flurry of tingles that dashed down his spine. He closed his eyes and shifted his hand a little closer. “I don’t know how things work now. I don’t know what to believe.”

Nodding again, Jared ran his free hand through his tousled hair. “When I first came here, I was pretty confused about things”

Confident Jared? Jensen found that a little difficult to believe but he smiled.

“I remember Jeff telling me that when I got really overwhelmed I should lock in on what I _felt_ , you know?” He twisted on the bed slightly so that he could reach out and press his hand over Jensen’s heart. “What feels right; what you believe here.”

The warm weight of Jared’s handmade Jensen’s next inhale a little shaky. He may not know what was going on around him but inside? Inside Jensen could feel the seed of something solid and certain when it came to Jared, something he’d never felt before.

“I’m not with Jeff. I’ve never been with him. He’s more of a father to me than my own father ever was,” Jared said softly.

Jared’s hand began to slip away and Jensen grabbed hold of it. He didn’t want to lose that contact. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’ve been so confused. I don’t… I’m still confused.” Jensen couldn’t come up with the right words to explain the mess that was in his head.

Jared nodded. “That makes sense. Things are changing a lot for you. You need to figure out where you fit in all of that.”

Nodding, Jensen moved his fingers slowly over the back of Jared’s hand. It was the first time that Jensen felt as though he had the permission to relax a little. Perhaps it was more of a case of Jensen finally trying to be honest with himself. “I’m used to having answers, knowing what I’m going to be doing every moment.”

“Time to just relax a little bit maybe,” Jared said. His smile was warm and he pressed Jensen’s hand between both of his. “You sleep well last night?”

“No.” Shaking his head, Jensen smiled wearily. “I haven’t slept well since we left the Dome.”

Furrows appeared in Jared’s brow and he leaned in a little closer. “Air quality? Maybe your bed is too soft...”

Clarity settled down on Jensen like a warm blanket and he felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. “I did sleep well once in… the tent.”

After a moment, Jared’s expression softened. “Right.”

Every fiber of Jensen’s being wanted Jared to be the one who made the next move but, somehow, he knew that wasn’t going to happen. “Can I… could we do that again?”

Amusement appeared in Jared’s eyes as his eyebrows lifted slightly. “Do… what?”

He was going to _make_ Jensen say it. “Can I stay here tonight?”

There was nothing but silence for a while and Jensen felt the tension start to build in his shoulders again.

“Yes,” Jared said finally. “I would like that.”

That was as far as Jensen could get on his own. Once Jared had said yes, Jensen didn’t know what the next step was. “I’m sorry.”

Jared frowned again. “For what?”

“I don’t know what to do next,” Jensen said. Sadly, he was becoming accustomed to being a little lost.

“This is the part where you just follow your heart, Jensen. Relax. When you realize you don’t have control over everything it will start to get a little easier.” Jared squeezed Jensen’s hand and then let go so he could stand up.

Jensen rubbed the back of his head gingerly and watched as Jared headed over to the door and tapped the security lock. “I’m tired.”

Nodding, Jensen stood. He lingered beside the bed for a few moments watching Jared.

Finally, Jared smiled, shook his head then walked over to turn off the light. There was enough of a flow from the video panel in the wall that they could still see.

Jared walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket down then climbed in. There was plenty of room in the bed for the two of them. Jared put one of his pillows beside him and patted it. “Whenever you’re tired.”

It shouldn’t seem like such an enormous thing, but Jensen could feel his heart pounding. He had to force himself to toe off his boots. He tucked them under the end of the bed and watched as Jared got comfortable.

“I won’t bite,” Jared said after Jensen stood there for a while.

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Jensen said quite honestly. He enjoyed Jared’s company but he was still a little terrified of him. He was a bit unpredictable compared to what Jensen was used to.

Chuckling, Jared rolled onto his side facing Jensen. “Stop stalling and get in here.”

Jensen took a deep breath and pulled his t-shirt off so he could set it on the chair. He slipped his pants down and folded them then slid under the covers.

Concentrating on his breathing, Jensen pulled the sheet up to his chest and rested his arms over it. “I don’t feel drunk anymore.”

“Cindy probably gave you a purifier. You’re lucky.”

“Lucky?”

“You won’t throw up tonight and you won’t be hungover in the morning.” Jared laughed quietly and shifted a little closer.

“I should learn to be thankful for small mercies, I suppose,” Jensen said grudgingly.

“Might make you happier.”

“I’m happy.”

Jared snorted. “You never seem very happy.”

Sighing, Jensen rolled onto his side so he was facing Jared. “Maybe it will be good for me that things have changed.”

“Maybe.” Jared’s eyes were wide in the dim light and he reached forward to curl strong fingers over Jensen’s bicep. “Just see what happens.”

“See what happens,” Jensen echoed. But, really, all he could focus on was the way that Jared’s hand felt on his arm. The touch was warm and sent pleasant tingles scampering along Jensen’s flesh. He nestled his head back onto the pillow but kept his eyes on Jared.

“Comfortable?” Jared asked.

Nodding, Jensen sighed and felt a little more tension leaving his body. “What the hell am I gonna do?”

Shaking his head slightly from side to side, Jared smiled. “Sleep. Try to figure some things out in the morning.”

“You don’t even know all of it,” Jensen said in an almost-whisper. He wasn’t sure about how much Jared knew but things were definitely more complicated than Jensen had ever thought they would be.

Jared’s broad shoulders shrugged. “Maybe not, but it doesn’t really matter. Change is change. It happens whether we want it to or not.”

It was true, not that Jensen had ever really thought about it before. He smiled and reached up to brush a strand of hair back from Jared’s face.

“Jeff says I need a haircut.”

Shaking his head slowly, Jensen smiled. “I think it looks good long.” Jensen looked down at Jared’s chest and felt his cheeks begin to heat up slightly.

“Yeah?” Fingers slipped under Jensen’s chin and urged his gaze back up.

When their eyes met, there was a beautiful smile on Jared’s face. Dimples were popped onto each of his cheeks and his eyes were bright and amused.

“How are you like this?”

A little bewildered, Jared shrugged a shoulder. He wetted his lips, leaned in slightly, and pressed his mouth to Jensen’s.

For the first time, Jensen didn’t feel the need to flee. He held his breath and as he melted into the kiss he let his fingers tangle in Jared’s hair. It felt better than he expected, smoother and lighter.

When Jared’s lips parted slightly, the world fell away from under Jensen. Jared’s tongue slid along Jensen’s bottom lip then slipped briefly past it.

Jensen’s heart pounded so hard he felt like he would lose consciousness. He’d never felt the way Jared was making him feel. It was all a little overwhelming but Jensen didn’t want to pull away this time.

As their lips brushed together, Jensen felt a warm flush envelope him. The muscles in his arms trembled as he circled them around Jared’s neck and held on.

“Relax,” Jared whispered against Jensen’s lips.

He should relax, but every muscle in Jensen's body felt like it was on fire. “Easy for you to say.”

Jared’s laughter was quiet and low as he leaned in and kissed the corner of Jensen’s mouth.

The deep sound set off an entirely new sensation in Jensen’s body. Half-hard, flushed with the heat of pleasure, Jensen painted softly. “I don't know how to do this.”

Jared blinked slowly and smiled. “You don’t have to _know_ anything right now. You look tired.”

As much as he hated to admit it, Jensen was tired. He wanted to touch Jared’s cheekbone, run his hand through his hair, talk to him about a million different things. Instead of any of that, he ran his arm down Jared’s until he could curve it over his waist.

“Night, Jensen,” Jared whispered. He closed his eyes and nestled closer.

“Night,” Jensen said softly. He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Jared breathing. It was the most comforting sound he’d heard in a very long time.

-=-=-=-

Jensen woke up to Jared kissing him. Heat was already moving through his veins by the time his eyes opened. Jared rolled forward and covered Jensen’s body with his.

The weight pressing Jensen down into the softness of the mattress was exhilarating and terrifying. Jensen’s hands moved quickly to Jared’s hips. He wasn’t sure if he was holding him in place or pushing him away. He could feel the sharpness of hipbones against his palms and when he stretched his fingers out he could feel the curve of Jared’s ass.

Jared deepened the kiss. He tucked his hands behind Jensen’s head so that he could guide him. His tongue teased its way forward then retreated to lure Jensen’s tongue forward.

Jensen explored Jared’s mouth, learned the exotic taste of him and committed it all to memory. He drew in the mingled scents of their bodies, pressed his hips up into the firm body above him and marveled at all the strange and new sensations.

When Jared finally pulled away slightly, he sucked in a desperate-sounding breath. “Morning.”

The first time Jensen tried to speak, nothing came out. He cleared his throat and shivered slightly. “Morning.”

“You slept,” Jared said warmly.

“I did.” Taking a deep breath, Jensen smiled slightly then pressed his lips together. The quiver of underlying anxiety began to creep along under his flesh.

Tilting his head slightly, Jared leaned down again and caught Jensen’s bottom lip between both of his. He arched his back slightly and slid off Jensen’s body so he could drag his hand down the middle of Jensen’s chest.

A burst of heat followed the fingers down Jensen’s body and he couldn’t prevent arching his back up off the bed. As much as his brain didn’t seem to know what to do, his body had no trouble reacting on its own.

The spicy, warm scent of _them_ wafted up from under the covers when Jared smoothed his hand down Jensen’s thigh then back up.

Jensen felt like he was sinking under a crashing wave of pleasure. He grabbed fists full of the sheet at his sides and gasped into Jared’s mouth. It was too much.

“Jared.” Jensen’s voice cracked and he closed his eyes for the time it took to suck in a deep breath.

It didn’t seem like Jared needed any more of an explanation. His smile wavered slightly and he withdrew, lying on his side and facing Jensen. They weren’t touching anymore, but Jensen could feel the air between them like it was solid, like they were still connected somehow. It was more than a little unnerving.

“I just-”

“It’s okay, Jensen,” Jared interrupted. “You don’t have to explain anything.”

“Weird, ‘cause I feel like I do,” Jensen said quietly. There were only so many chances that one person could give another and Jensen felt as though he was approaching his quota.

“You don’t owe me anything,” Jared said flatly. He sat up, ran a hand through his hair and swung his legs down over the side of the bed.

The frown on Jensen’s face was a result of the fact that he had _no_ idea if he’d done something else wrong, and the fact that he had a headache. At least, the latter he could deal with.

“Jared-”

“We should get breakfast. Let’s go to the Cafeteria. Jeff is there every morning.” Jared stood and headed over to the shower.

“Okay,” Jensen said once the shower turned on.

-=-=-=-

The cafeteria was buzzing with activity. While they stood in the short lineup, Jared introduced Jensen to several people. No one seemed at all hesitant to reveal themselves to Jensen, in fact, quite the opposite. Everyone who lived at the community seemed eager to share their involvement with the Blue Dove.

By the time they were settled at a table with their food, Jeff had appeared in the cafeteria doorway. He scanned the room, found Jensen’s gaze then headed over.

“Morning, boys,” Jeff said as he sat down opposite them. “I went to your quarters earlier to see if you wanted to come outside to walk some of the perimeter with me. You weren’t there.”

“I spent the night at Jared’s,” Jensen said as he set his coffee down.

Jared rolled his eyes and dropped his fork onto his tray.

Jeff’s gaze pinned Jared where he was. “Do you _really_ think that’s a good idea right now?”

“He was drunk and he had hurt himself,” Jared after a few moments.

“Is that supposed to make it better?” Jeff snapped. His voice was loud enough to attract the attention of the people sitting close to them and Jeff closed his eyes for a couple of moments.

Jared pushed his tray aside and leaned forward. “Jensen has been through a lot, Jeff. He needs friends, people to support him.”

Jeff shook his head slowly, brows furrowed.

Jared scowled across the table. “Look, not that it’s your business, but we-”

“-No,” Jensen interrupted. “It’s _not_ your business, Jeff.””

“You’re my nephew, and you are potentially very important to what’s going on here,” Jeff answered quickly. He kept his gaze on Jensen.

“And, I have a lot to learn. Not the least of which is what _I_ might want to fight for,” Jensen said. He reached out and slid his hand over Jared’s and wove their fingers together.

When Jeff opened his mouth to speak, Jensen held up his free hand to silence him. “You know what they teach us first about the Blue Dove at the Academy?”

Glancing at Jared, then back at Jensen, Jeff shook his head.

“They teach us that the Blue Dove is dangerous because the fight is personal to their members. _That_ the belief that you’re fighting for something tangible, fighting for _someone_ is what gives passion and commitment to people's’ actions.”

As confident as he tried to sound, Jensen could feel his cheeks heating up. He clenched Jared’s hand a little tighter, feeling as though everyone in the room was looking at him. Of course, they weren’t, the steady buzz of conversation continued all around them.

“Jensen, I know that you’re trying to understand everything,” Jeff began quietly. “But, don’t you think that this kind of complication-”

“-oh that’s _bull_ shit,” Jared exclaimed. “I’m not a fucking complication.”

“You don't know _everything_ that’s going on, Jared.” Jeff focused all his attention on Jensen again. “The status of things at the Church has changed and I need you to go back in the next twenty-four hours.”

“What?” Jared shook his head slowly and held on to Jensen’s hand far too tightly. “You said he’d be here until he was ready. Until he’d decided what he thought about everything.”

“Things have changed at the Church; there’s an opening we need Jensen back there for,” Jeff answered.

“It’s too soon,” Jared growled at Jeff.

“No, it’s not.” Jeff glared at Jared. “This is an opportunity we can’t afford to miss. Jensen is the only person who can take this on.”

“Stop,” Jensen interjected. “I’m sitting _right_ here. Shouldn’t you both be talking to me?”

Jeff clasped his hands together on the table in front of him and stared at Jensen. “Jensen, you’re the only person who can pull this off. Come with me to my office and I’ll give you all the details.”

Jensen could feel Jared's gaze on him, felt Jared’s thumb rubbing his, the warmth of his knee under the table. He knew Jared had his best interests at heart, but, if there was an opportunity for Jensen to make some amends, he knew he had to hear about it. He looked at Jared and smiled before turning back to Jeff.

“Fine. Let’s go to your office and I’ll hear you out,” Jensen said.

“You don’t owe anyone anything, Jensen,” Jared said quietly.

“Yes, I do.”

Jared turned to face Jensen. “Okay then, what about me? Don’t you owe me some time?”

A little surprised, Jensen turned his wide-eyed gaze to Jared’s.

Jeff sat back in his chair slightly. “Oh, come on, Jared. You see why this isn’t a good idea?”

Before Jensen could interrupt again, Jared pulled his hand away and stood. He picked up his tray and nodded at Jeff. “I’ll see you later. I have work to do.”

“Jared,” Jensen finally managed to get out.

“See you later,” Jared said over his shoulder as he left.

“This is _exactly_ why you and Jared doing what you’re doing isn’t a good idea, Jensen.” Jeff scratched his beard as he watched Jared leave the cafeteria.

“Jeff,” Jensen decided to try something on for size. “Fuck off.”

-=-=-=-

It took most of the day for Jeff to explain the new mission to Jensen. When he finally left his Uncle’s office, he felt as though he’d been awake for days. There was so much for him to process. He wasn’t even aware of the route he’d chosen to walk until he found himself at the door to Jared’s quarters.

He knocked three times and hoped that Jared was there. After a few agonizingly long moments of silence, the door opened.

“Hi,” Jensen said.

Jared looked tired. His eyes were red-rimmed, his hair tousled and his face was a little drawn. “Hi.”

“Can I come in?” Jensen asked.

Staring for awhile, Jared licked his lips then stood aside.

There was only an old-fashioned lamp on the table for lighting in the room and Jensen walked over and picked up the book lying in front of it. _Giovanni’s Room_ again. “How’s the book going?”

“Sad,” Jared said as he padded over to the table and sat down. “The main character, David. He has _no_ idea how to be who he is. He seems to do nothing but hurt people.”

Jensen rolled his lips together and sat down. He set the book back down on the table and slid it towards Jared.

“Jensen, I’m sorry,” Jared blurted out.

“What?” The declaration was a bit unexpected.

“What I said this morning wasn’t fair,” Jared said. He fiddled with the dog-eared corners of the pages of the book. “You don’t owe me anything. I was just pissed off at Jeff.”

Jensen couldn’t help smiling. “I didn’t notice.”

A half-smile caught Jared’s mouth. “Well, he can be really irritating. Sometimes, he gets way too paternal with me.”

“I can see that,” Jensen agreed. “He cares about you a lot.”

“Mmm.” Jared smoothed his hand over the cover of the book, looking at it thoughtfully. “Anyway. I apologize.”

“I want to talk to you about this… mission,” Jensen said. It was the first thing he’d thought of when Jeff had begun to explain things to him.

“Okay.” Sitting back in his chair, Jared folded his arms across his chest.

“One of the other Key Enforcers, Pellegrino. He was on the video files I saw,” Jensen said. The instant he said the man’s name he could feel the tension begin to build in his back and shoulders.

“Right.”

“Your person on the inside found out that he was going to _privately interrogate_ another series of members of the Blue Dove. That’s exactly how he assassinates people.” Jensen took a breath and shifted restlessly on his chair.

“And?” Jared was familiar enough with what was going on to realize that there would be a lot more to the story.

“Our operative killed him,” Jensen said quietly. “It had to be done or he would have killed someone else from here, possibly five or six.” Jensen swallowed, his throat tight and dry. “Can I get a glass of water?”

Nodding, Jared reached out and tapped the input screen on the replicator. A glass slid out and water poured into it then Jared set it in front of Jensen.

Jensen drank half the glass before continuing. “Pellegrino has… had a Key position. He does the same job as me, but he works at the Church interrogating people.”

Understanding was clear on Jared’s face. “And Jeff wants you back there to take his place.”

Nodding, Jensen sighed. “I’m the obvious choice. Jeff seems confident it will happen. Only if I’m back there, of course.”

“Right,” Jared said. His finger traced the outline of the book title but he said nothing else.

“What do you think?” Jensen asked when he realized Jared wasn’t going to volunteer his opinion.

“I think… that you have a lot to work out,” Jared said. When he looked up, his smile was warm even if his eyes were a little sad. “I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.”

Jensen took a deep breath and blew it out through pursed lips. “You know? I do owe you honesty.”

Eyebrows lifted slightly, Jared tilted his head. “Okay.”

Jensen dragged a hand down his face then pressed both palms flat on the table. “There are _so_ many reasons for me to do this. It’s the start of making amends for the people who lost their lives, it could make things better for my family, for Danneel. I can try and protect the members of the Blue Dove who have been apprehended. And there are all the people here and the Community you’ve created. That is worth protecting.”

When Jensen looked up, Jared was nodding.

“You’re a good man, Jensen. Jeff was right about that.”

Warmth bloomed in Jensen’s chest and he leaned on the table so he could draw a little closer to Jared. “There’s one selfish reason for me to refuse to stay here… and that’s you.”

When Jared looked up and their gazes locked, Jensen could see he was touched.

“I’ve never had that before,” Jensen said. “I’ve never had someone… if I don’t go and fight for this, Jared, I can’t really have it now.”

A smiled twitched onto Jared’s lips, then disappeared again. “That’s… that’s a whole lot of good and bad in one explanation.”

Jensen chuckled quietly then reached out and grabbed Jared’s hand. “I don’t know what I’m going to tell Jeff tomorrow, but I know one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to stay here with you tonight. I want this… Jared. I just… I need a little help to understand how to do that.”

Closing his eyes, Jared took a deep breath. He finally stood, let go of Jensen’s hand and stepped in closer. His hand slid into Jensen’s hair and he pulled him in tight against his body. “Alright.”

It only took a moment for Jensen to wrap his arms around Jared’s waist. For a few heartbeats, he’d wondered if Jared was going to ask him to leave. With his cheek pressed to Jared’s belly, he could feel heat seeping through the soft cotton of his shirt.

Jared reached down and slipped his fingers under the hem of Jensen’s t-shirt. He lifted it slowly until Jensen had to lift his arms for it to be pulled off. 

The air in the room suddenly felt thicker and Jensen could feel the urge to breathe faster, suck more oxygen in. 

Jared’s strong fingers curled over Jensen’s shoulders, holding him gently, giving him the option to leave. Jensen had _no_ intention of leaving. 

Smiling, Jared slipped his own shirt off, unfastened his trousers and then stepped out of them. He swept his hair back off his face and looked down at Jensen. 

For the first time that evening, it occurred to Jensen that Jared might be feeling nervous too. Their paths had twined together quickly but there was so much they didn’t know about each other. 

Jared stepped in between Jensen’s legs and pressed him back so he had no choice but to lay down. He gestured for Jensen to shift up and get comfortable then crawled up to lie beside him. “You comfortable?”

“Stop worrying,” Jensen said with a slight smile on his face. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“It’s not so much that I’m worried about. “

“What then?” Jensen frowned and reached up to cup Jared’s jaw. He liked the feel of it against his palm. 

“I’m kinda worried you might pass out,” Jared said seriously. 

It took a few moments for Jensen to see the amusement in Jared’s eyes. Teasing was something he was still getting used to. “Either you have a very high opinion of yourself or very little faith in my ability to control myself.”

The hazel in Jared’s eyes was disappearing and he kicked his lips as he gazed at Jensen. “Don’t misunderstand. I very much want you to lose control.”

That right there, that handful of words was enough to make Jensen’s skin flush and his pulse quicken. 

“Do you trust me?” Jared asked as he brushed soft lips against Jensen’s. 

“Yeah, I do.” It was a moment that would stay with Jensen. He’d spent most of his life thinking that the best way to get through anything was to only trust himself. Since Jared had appeared in his quarters, everything he knew had been turned upside down. Jensen had never felt less confident about what lay in his own future, and for some inexplicable reason, he had never trusted anyone the way he trusted the man lying in front of him.


	6. Chapter 6

Jared reached out and got a firm grip on Jensen's bare shoulder. His fingers dug in hard and he smiled then shifted up to push Jensen over onto his back. He swung his leg over Jensen and settled down slowly on his hips.

The heat that flew through Jensen’s body was enough to ignite him from within. He tried to lift his hands up, to touch Jared, to get hold of _something_ but his hands just hung there in mid-air, trembling. Light-headed and over-heated, Jensen swallowed and tried to focus on Jared’s face.

"Just relax," Jared murmured. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth for a moment then smiled down at Jensen. "Maybe I should have given you some whiskey."

"No," Jensen answered quickly. "I want to remember every moment of this."

There was a brightness in Jared's gaze. It wasn't amusement; he simply looked happy. Lowering himself down slowly, Jared studied Jensen's face. "You're covered in freckles. That doesn't even make sense."

"What?" Jensen couldn't think properly. His brain felt like jelly, his heart was beating so fast it couldn't possibly be moving the blood around in his veins.

"Only artificial light in the Dome." Tilting his head slightly, Jared smirked and then ducked his head down to lick a stripe up the middle of Jensen's chest.

"There's simulated… God…" Jensen's entire body arched up off the bed and his hands flew up. The moment his fingers tangled in Jared's hair, he tightened his grip.

At that same moment, Jared blew out a warm breath over the damp trail he'd left on Jensen's skin.

Shivers rippled down Jensen's skin and he felt goosebumps appear down the center of his body. 

"I'm just getting started," Jared whispered against Jensen's nipple.

If they were just at the beginning, Jensen was thoroughly convinced that he wouldn't survive the evening. His flesh felt like it was burning, there was already sweat beading on his forehead and at the small of his back. After a shuddering deep breath, Jensen untangled one hand from Jared's hair and grabbed the back of his neck to pull him down. Relief shot through him when his and Jared's mouths finally collided once more. He'd never felt _need_ like that before; he just wanted to taste Jared's lips, feel the heat of his tongue, breathe in the familiar scent of his skin.

Jared moaned into the kiss and the vibration of it slithered down Jensen's body and settled hot and heavy around his cock. His aching shaft was hard and throbbing and he struggled to spread his legs a little wider to relieve some of the pressure. 

Panting softly, Jared broke from the kiss so that he could sit back on Jensen's thighs. He reached down and loosened the tie on Jensen's pants then eased them down. His fingers then curled over the waistband of Jensen's underwear and pulled them out from his body slightly, then down. 

Once Jensen's cock was released from its confines, it bobbed and a self-conscious flush burned its way up Jensen's chest and neck. He closed his eyes briefly and took a few steadying breaths. 

"Don't do that," Jared said in a gravelly voice.

When Jensen opened his eyes, Jared was staring down at him. 

"Don't close your eyes." The intensity in Jared's eyes made Jensen's chest ache and he nodded slightly.

Moving quickly, Jared kneeled up so he could slide the rest of Jensen's clothes down his legs then off his feet. 

Groaning, Jensen moved both hands down his face. Every time Jared stopped touching him, Jensen had to fight the urge to call out for him, bring him back, urge him closer. Each time Jared pulled away, Jensen was half convinced he wouldn't come back again.

When Jared finally had Jensen naked, he stood and slipped out of his own underwear and tossed them aside.

Jensen took advantage of Jared's absence to slip under the cover. He propped up the pillows and sat back against them. When he looked up, he froze for a few glorious seconds.

Jared was striking. Jensen knew that the man was fit; he'd seen his chest and the strength in his arms. He hadn't been prepared for how stunning Jared would be once he was completely exposed. Unlike Jensen, he looked completely confident. His shoulders were relaxed, his weight shifted onto his back foot, his hands hung at his sides. His hard-on was bigger than Jensen had expected, the flesh flushed pink and when Jared curled one hand around it… Jensen couldn't breathe.

"You…" Jensen swallowed and his mouth was as arid as the desert lands they had passed through.

"I'll take that expression as a compliment," Jared offered when Jensen remained silent. He padded around to the side of the bed and slipped under the cover. He slid back onto Jensen's lap and let the cover pool around their hips.

Jensen looked up into Jared's face, smiling as he shook his head slightly.

"What?" Errant strands of hair fell forward onto Jared's face and he reached up to brush them away ineffectively.

Jensen caught Jared's wrist and held on a little too tightly. "I… this feels very surreal."

"That's okay… right?" For the first time that evening, there was uncertainty in Jared's gaze.

Nodding, sure he wouldn't be able to put the correct words together, Jensen tilted his chin up to slide his lips over Jared's as slow as he could. His entire body was vibrating with new emotions and feelings and he couldn't process it anymore.

Jared's huge hands slid over Jensen's cheeks to hold him in the kiss. The kiss was unhurried for a while, then Jared's patience seemed to waver. He shifted closer. The kiss became more intense. 

Their swollen cocks slid past each other and Jensen's mouth widened as he gasped for air. His arms encircled Jared's body and he couldn't help the way his nails dug into flesh. Desire flowed through Jensen, want making it almost impossible for him to breathe. He couldn't pull Jared close enough; he wanted to feel all his overheated flesh, the strength of his muscles, the softness of his skin.

Mouthing his way along Jensen's jaw, Jared let out a moan that made Jensen's balls throb. Breath rushed hot and moist past Jensen's ear and then Jared's tongue traced the same path. Clawing at Jared's back, clinging to him, Jensen let out a deep moan and rocked his hips up. Their swollen flesh moved together and the friction made Jensen shudder. His body was twitching as pleasure jolted his nerves to life.

Jared shifted to the side for a few moments to get something and when he was settled on Jensen's lap again, he reached between them to curl his fingers around Jensen's hard-on. His fingers were slick, warm and Jensen's aching flesh began to tingle slightly.

"Jared…" Jensen's head fell back against the wall and he panted as the sensation almost sent him over the edge. No one had ever touched him the way Jared was touching him. There was so much yearning inside him that he didn't even know what to do.

"Breathe," Jared said against Jensen's lips. As his fingers stroked up, he kissed Jensen's bottom lip. When his fingers slid down and tightened, the tip of Jared's tongue teased its way into Jensen's mouth. It was like that for a while, Jared's fingers moved over Jensen's cock, teasing him, and bringing him almost to the edge before backing off and letting him breathe. 

The concept of time was lost on Jensen. All he could be aware of was the weight of Jared's body holding him there, the way long fingers moved over his shaft and brushed the wiry hair at the base, and those lips - _God_ \- moving over Jensen's mouth ceaselessly. 

Jared withdrew slightly, gaze meeting Jensen's as his hand continued to work Jensen's flesh slowly. His pupils were blown wide, his cheeks ruddy, his lips swollen. He nodded slightly, licking his lips and panting.

Jensen nodded once. He didn't care what he was agreeing to. In that moment, he would willingly give Jared anything he wanted. His hips twitched forward and he sank his teeth _hard_ into his bottom lip.

Jared kneeled up higher and reached behind him. 

Jensen world blew apart when the head of his cock slid along the underside of Jared's cock. One of his hands found a fistful of Jared's hair and the other grabbed the tight muscles of his ass. His mouth found Jared's neck and he sucked, bit, and kissed the salty, hot flesh.

A sweet noise escaped Jared's lips; low and shameless and he sat back slightly.

As the over-sensitive flesh of Jensen's cock breached Jared's body everything around them disappeared. His heart was beating so fast that he felt as though the room was spinning. He sank into Jared's heat and felt every inch of slide and clench, felt the way Jared's legs trembled as he held himself up. 

Pleasure welled up in Jensen's body, his muscles tightened and he couldn't stop shaking. "Jared…"

"S'okay," Jared said weakly. He eased himself down, hands making their way to Jensen's shoulders so he could lower himself slowly. 

Finally, Jensen was buried deep in Jared's body. He clung to Jared, shivering with the pleasure that he was drowning in. 

"Hold still," Jared murmured.

Jensen hadn't even realized he _was_ moving. He struggled to hold still, hands moving up and down Jared's back slowly, soothingly. 

Their lips pressed together and Jensen let his hands fall to Jared's hips. When he pulled back slightly he couldn't stop staring at Jared's face. There were strands of damp hair pasted to his forehead, his eyes were heavy-lidded and dark, his lips were parted slightly, glistening. He'd never seen someone look so beautiful.

Jared lifted slightly and then pressed back down and Jensen's heart felt like it would tear through his ribs. Knowing and feeling were two completely different things. There was so much sensation flooding Jensen he couldn't focus on anything. The heat cradling his cock was scorching, the brush of Jared's lips sent little aftershocks rippling through Jensen's body, and Jared's fingers digging into his shoulders were painful and pleasurable at the same time.

"You can move now." Jared's lips tickled Jensen's as he spoke.

"Oh… God," Jensen said. He held on tightly to Jared's hips, thumb pressing back against the hip bones that were jutting out. Then he thrust his hips up and his vision faded away slightly. Pleasure ripped across Jensen's chest and he was left breathless as he thrust again… and again.

Jared let his head fall back, his mouth opened wide as he struggled for air. The fingers of his right hand trailed down Jensen's chest until they bumped over his hard nipple. He let his nail dig in, pinning it there and rolled his hips in time with Jensen's.

Every time Jensen thought he couldn't feel more, Jared would touch him, rock his hips a different way, nip his flesh… and Jensen would find himself quivering as pleasure surged through him like an electric current.

They moved together, thrusting, grinding, fingers digging in desperately to over-sensitive skin. Jensen's body was covered in sweat, his heart felt weak and he could hardly control the way he was fucking into Jared's body. 

When the heat became too much, Jensen gasped, he held a shaking hand to Jared's chest and their eyes met.

His hips jerked up once more and then Jensen was coming. All his muscles clenched, his balls pulled up close to his body, his lungs couldn't drag in any more air. His cock throbbed and he felt the punch of release slam into him. He clung to Jared, mouth wide and wet against Jared's shoulder as his body jerked through each pulse of pleasure.

Jared's body jolted, his back arched and he cried out. His release splashed hot and wet between them as his body jerked and twitched on Jensen's cock.

They clung to each other as they rode out wave after wave of pleasure. Finally, completely weak and spent, Jensen fell to the side and Jared tumbled after him. They laid on their backs side by side, panting, fingers twined together at their sides.

"I… can't. I don't think I have enough words to describe how amazing that was," Jensen said.

Jared laughed quietly and turned his head towards Jensen. "Another compliment, I think."

There was a knot of emotion in the middle of Jensen's chest. There were so many things he _could_ say but everything seemed like it would just sound ridiculous.

Frowning slightly, Jared studied Jensen's expression for a few moments. "You alright?"

Nodding, Jensen reached out and tucked Jared's hair behind his ear. "Everything is perfect."

"I wouldn't call it perfect," Jared said with amusement in his eyes.

"If it gets much better than that, I'll need Cindy to join us," Jensen said.

Jared's eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up.

"No!" Jensen protested. "I didn't mean-"

Laughter interrupted Jensen's fumbled defense as he realized Jared was teasing him again. Shaking his head, Jensen thumped his fist into Jared's thigh.

"Ouch." Jared wriggled closer and slipped his arm over Jensen's waist. "Tired?"

Jensen nodded again and blew out a long, slow breath. "Exhausted."

"I'll get a cloth." Groaning, Jared sat up and ran his hands through his hair a couple of times before sliding off the side of the bed.

Jensen watched Jared move around the room, appreciating the way the man's muscles moved beneath his skin. He had already closed his eyes by the time he felt a warm washcloth on his chest. "Thank you."

Lips pressed to Jensen's as the cloth wiped over his belly. He smiled and chased Jared's mouth as it withdrew.

"Get back under the cover."

"Yes, Sir." Jensen groaned as he turned around and slid his legs into the warmth of the bed. By the time he was comfortable Jared was climbing back in beside him.

It felt like second nature for Jensen to roll towards Jared and slip his arm around his waist. He pressed up against Jared's side and buried his nose in the crook of Jared's neck. "I never want to forget the way you smell."

"Mmmm." Jared cupped the back of Jensen's skull. "Don't talk like you're going to vanish tomorrow.”

Jensen wasn't sure what the next few days would bring, but he knew that he wanted to stay near Jared if he could. Whatever time he had suddenly felt like it wouldn't be long enough.

-=-=-=-

The two men spent a quiet morning together. They ate breakfast in Jared's room, feeding each other pieces of fresh fruit that Jared had stashed away. Jensen had _real_ brewed coffee for the first time in his life, and discovered that it didn't even need sugar or cream. 

Eventually, they suited up and headed outside to walk for a while. Jensen found that he didn't really care where they were as long as he was with Jared. It was a new and unusual feeling for him; wanting to be with someone went against everything he'd always believed. He'd been raised thinking that it was best only to rely on himself, to be a loner. Now, he was feeling sure that he would rather be with Jared, than alone.

They didn't talk about Jensen's impending return to the Church. It seemed too huge to speak aloud. They both knew it was lurking just over the horizon but neither of them wanted to bring it up. Perhaps, Jensen had thought, it was simply easier to imagine that they could spend some time getting to know each other.

They were eating lunch in the Library when Jeff found them. Jared was in the middle of a full body laugh at Jensen's expense. Jensen wasn't entirely sure what he'd done that was so amusing. Jared had fallen silent so quickly that Jensen had spun to see who had come into the room. "Oh. Hello, Jeff."

"I need your decision, Jensen," Jeff said as he strode across the Library.

"Good morning to you, too, Jeff," Jared muttered. He set his coffee down on the table and glanced over at Jensen.

"Jared, this isn't a social call. I need his answer. Things are heating up at the Church and we need to get the code back there. There's a trail that needs to be covered to keep our operative safe." There was a frustrated frown on Jeff's face and he didn't look like he'd had much sleep recently.

Jensen gestured to the empty armchair across from them. "Have a seat."

Jensen had been enjoying the time he'd spent with Jared, but Jeff's request had always been lingering in the back of his mind. He knew exactly what his answer was; he'd probably known it since the moment Jeff had first asked him. There was just one complication and that was Jared.

Jeff sank down into the armchair and sighed. "Have you decided?"

"Jesus, Jeff. Lay off," Jared muttered.

"Jared - don't talk to me-"

"Stop it," Jensen said firmly. When he saw the pained expression on Jared's face, Jensen reached out and grabbed Jared's hand. He waited until Jared's was looking at him then smiled slightly. "We need to talk about this."

Looking at Jensen expectantly, Jeff clasped his hands together.

It was hard for Jensen to look at Jared. He _knew_ what Jared wanted him to do. There was a part of him that would find it entirely too easy to just stay there, share some time with Jared. But there were so many other things… other people… at stake. "I'll do it."

"You'll go back? It needs to happen immediately." Jeff looked equal parts relieved and surprised.

"No," Jared said softly. "You just - we just found each other."

"Jared, this was your mission, not some blind date we set up for you," Jeff said a little too harshly.

Anger sparked to life in Jensen's chest. "Say one more thing like that, Jeff and I might change my mind." Jensen couldn't look over at his Uncle.

"Jensen, just wait a little bit," Jared pleaded. Both of his hands, warm and strong, were wrapped around Jensen's. "Just until you've had a chance to work through everything."

Jeff sighed and settled back in the chair. "Jared, I told you this…" as words failed him, Jeff waved his hand back and forth between Jared and Jensen. "I told you a relationship wasn't a good idea."

Anger was clear in Jared's gaze when he looked over at Jeff. "I'm sorry this is interfering with your _mandate_ , Jeff. But this is important too. It's not… this isn't some casual thing. Well, it isn't to me," Jared said. He looked back at Jensen and that subtle uncertainty appeared on his face again.

"It isn't to me either," Jensen said immediately.

"See! This was _never_ a good idea. This is why relationships like this don't work -"

"It worked for you, Jeff," Jensen snapped. He remembered the conversation they'd had. He _knew_ that his Uncle had loved Fergus. They had to have been key supports for each other in the early days of the movement.

"Ultimately, it didn't, Jensen," Jeff said darkly. He sat forward on the edge of his chair and turned towards Jared. "Jared?"

Closing his eyes, Jared squeezed Jensen's hand so tightly he was sure he could feel the bones grinding together.

"Jared, son. Look at me." Jeff's voice has softened, taken on that low, soothing, rumble that Jensen remembered from when he was little.

Finally, Jared opened his eyes and looked over at Jeff. 

"Jared, I love you. You know that. I love you like a son. I like to think that I had some hand in raising you and helping you to become the man that you are. I'm _proud_ of you," Jeff said.

Jared rolled his lips together, and his expression softened but he said nothing.

Smiling briefly at Jensen, Jeff continued. "You think that I want for you two, what happened to me? You think that I could possibly want you to lose the one person you love? What I went through… what so many people have gone through." He shook his head. "It's hard, it's damn near fucking impossible to live through. I don’t want _either_ of you to go through that."

Jensen looked down at Jared's hand. Their hands were so different, Jared's fingers long and slim, Jensen's thicker, maybe stronger. It was something else he wanted to commit to memory.

Jared took a deep breath. "Jeff, I have always taken your advice. _Always_. You've taught me more than anyone else. But don't you realize that one of the most important things that you taught me was about loving and caring for someone. You risked your family, your life… everything for your relationship. And unless you can tell me it wasn't worth it... You can't convince me that this… what I feel, isn't a good idea. It's got to, at least, be worth a chance."

Tears burned unshed in Jensen's eyes and he averted his gaze so that Jeff wouldn't see. He wanted that chance, and he also had unfinished business with the Church. When he finally looked up, Jeff was nodding. His eyes were glassy and bright and he reached out and squeezed Jared's shoulder. "It doesn't change what I need Jensen to do."

"I know that, just don't try to convince us that _this_ isn't good." Jared held up their hands and smiled warmly at Jensen.

All Jensen could do was bow his head in agreement.

Jeff cleared his throat and rubbed at his mouth. "Fair enough," he said. "But, I need Jensen to leave tomorrow."

Brow furrowed, eyes sad, Jared simply nodded and looked at Jensen.

"Alright," Jensen said.

"Our operative is expecting you. You just go back to your life, perform your duties the way you normally would. You'll find that you've already applied for the promotion. You'll be interviewed, of course, it will all follow normal protocol. When our operative knows that you're in a safe environment, not under any surveillance, you'll be given a code phrase."

"And what is that," Jensen asked quietly.

" _Do you ever wonder what the sky looks like outside the Dome?_ , and the correct response that you need to give is: _Sometimes, but the grass is always greener._ "

Frowning, Jensen leaning back slightly. "What? What does that even mean?"

Laughing slightly, Jared leaned in a little closer to Jensen. "I'll explain later."

"It's an old expression," Jeff said. "Not something that's likely to come up randomly. You got it?"

"I do." Jensen's memory was still excellent and he realized that getting the response right could be a matter of life and death.

"You only give the correct response if you are safe as well. This is crucial. Once contact is made then you’ll be given all the information you need."

Nodding, Jensen sank back against the couch and sighed.

"Misha is ready to go. You and he can head out tomorrow morning. You should be back in the Dome in three days," Jeff said. He was back to business, looking determined and relieved.

"No," Jared interjected. "I'll take him back."

Jeff shook his head. "You know we don't send people out on back to back missions. Misha's ready; you know he's one of our best."

"Come on, you know I'm the best out there. I could run circles around Misha. Besides, you owe us this."

"Owe?" Jeff looked genuinely surprised and as though he was on the verge or arguing with Jared again. "I have something all set up with Misha. I can't just make changes to everything so easily-"

Jensen held up his free hand. "You two, stop. Please. Jeff, this is your fault. If you hadn't sent Jared to _fetch_ me, I never would have even had an opportunity to know that I wanted to be with him." The words felt foreign on Jensen's tongue and he felt the agonizingly familiar burn of a blush on his cheeks "I'll go, you've got my commitment but I want to travel back with Jared. It might be the last time we can spend together."

Lips parted slightly, Jared turned quickly to look at Jensen. He looked a little startled, as though he'd been successful in convincing himself that them never seeing each other again wasn't a possibility at all. The problem was that it was a very _real_ possibility. What Jensen had just agreed to undertake was very dangerous. He had no way of knowing when he would be able to find another justification to leave the Dome. After a few heartbeats, Jared nodded.

"Okay," Jeff said reluctantly. "I'll need some time to work this out. I'll come and find you later, Jensen."

When Jeff stood, he shook his head, leaned down and grabbed the back of Jared's and Jensen's necks. He squeezed and chuckled slightly. "I need a break from you two. You're a dangerous team."

Finally, there was a smile on Jared's face. "Get out of here, old man."

Jeff leaned down and kissed the top of Jared's head then headed out of the Library.

Jared and Jensen were quiet for a while, lunch all but forgotten. Jensen ran his thumb over the back of Jared's hand and smiled. "I guess we knew this was going to happen."

"Strange. It doesn't make it any easier, does it?" Jared leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Jensen's mouth.

-=-=-=-

Jared and Jensen decided to spend the night together in Jared's room again. The mood might have been a little more somber, but it was what it was. They spent the latter part of the afternoon preparing their supplies. They used all the equipment that Jensen had brought with him, it was the newest technology and they would be even more comfortable on the way back to the Dome. They were, admittedly, more comfortable with each other than they had been on the trip out.

They ate dinner together in the cafeteria. Cindy stopped by to give them a new Med Kit and hugged Jensen entirely too tightly. She was pleased to see them sitting together, and Jensen was convinced he heard her stifle a giggle when she noticed they were holding hands. But, as she finally said her goodbyes, she looked sad and Jensen's heart grew a little bit heavier.

After dinner, Jensen told Jared that he wanted to stop by and speak to Jeff. He wasn't sure what he was going to say - goodbye seemed like such a strange thing to say to his Uncle so soon after being reunited with him. In the days since Jensen had arrived, things had changed tremendously.

As usual, Jeff was hard at work in his office. Misha was perched on the edge of Jeff's desk when Jensen arrived. "Am I interrupting?"

"I was just leaving," Misha said. He hopped off the desk and brushed past Jensen, stopping right at his side. "Listen, you take care of Padalecki out there. He's a good man."

Jensen turned to look at Misha and was startled by the earnest look in his bright blue eyes. "I will do my best."

"I've heard that is pretty damn good." Misha patted Jensen on the back and headed out of Jeff's office.

"Well, you've managed to impress Misha somehow. Not sure who he's been talking to," Jeff said. He shoved some paper aside and took off his reading glasses. "You ready to go tomorrow?"

"We are. I just wanted to come and see you. We're going to head out before dawn." Jensen smiled at his Uncle. Some days, Jeff looked older than others. Worn might be a better way to describe it. Jeff always seemed to be awake, no matter what time Jensen was looking for him. He had a lot of responsibility and he took it all very seriously. Jensen's uncle was a very good man.

"You're gonna take care out there, yeah?" Jeff's eyes looked tired and he rubbed at his scruffy beard.

"Yeah, of course. Jared will be there. He's quite bossy in the field. Did he tell you he saved my ass on the way here?"

"He didn't, but that doesn't surprise me. He's not one to brag about himself. What did you do?" Jeff's smile was warm.

"I went for a little walk and fell through some debris. Even with his wound he managed to catch me and hauled me back up." It had only happened days ago and yet, it felt like that had happened in a different world and a thousand years in the past.

"I'm glad he was there. I can't even imagine what I would have felt like if something had happened to you on your way here." Jeff leaned down and opened a drawer on his desk. Jensen couldn't help smiling, the antique desk amused him.

A glass decanter clunked on the surface of the desk and Jeff set two glasses beside it. "Have a drink with me, Jensen."

Even though he was still a little hesitant about alcohol given his first experience, Jensen nodded. He watched as his Uncle poured a small amount into each glass then slid one towards Jensen. 

Jensen took a wary sip of the drink. “I’m not sure alcohol is a good idea.” 

“Reverting back to your old beliefs so soon?” Jeff gestures to Jensen. With his glass then downed it. “Whisky is always a good idea.”

Shrugging, Jensen took another sip. “Drinking alcohol seems to impair my judgment.”

When Jeff laughed, his eyes lit up. “Well, Jensen, I think that a little impaired judgment can be a good thing. In moderation.”

The first experience Jensen had with alcohol was evidence for Jeff’s theory. “I will work on it next time I’m back.”

As Jeff set his empty glass down on the desk he tilted his head slightly. “You’ll come back then?”

Jensen nodded. “Jared’s here.”

There was a knowing smile on his Uncle’s face. 

“And _you’re_ here,” Jensen added quickly. He was pleased to see his Uncle again. It just seemed like meeting Jared has eclipsed everything else. 

Jeff chuckled again. “I get it.”

“I have to tell Mack.” The instant he had realized that there was possibly a better future with the Blue Dove, Jensen had thought of his little sister. She could have an entirely different life in a community in which she was considered an equal. 

“I thought you might. I trust your judgment, Jensen. Just be careful.” Jeff leaned on his desk and sighed. “And, _please_ , come back?”

Even though he still had an incomplete picture of what his new role would be at the Church, Jensen knew he would take the first opportunity available to travel back to be with Jared. “Some things are worth the wait.”

Jeff nodded and pushed up to walk around to Jensen. “Get up and give your Uncle a hug.”

Grinning, Jensen stood and wrapped his arms around his Uncle's shoulders. He squeezed him tightly. “You take care of Jared while he’s here without me. Don’t let him do anything crazy.”

For a few moments, Jeff just tightened his grip in Jensen. He planted a kiss on Jensen’s cheek and stepped back. “He will have what he needs, I promise you that.”

It was more difficult to say goodbye to his uncle than Jensen had imagined. “See you soon.”

“See you soon, Jensen.”

_=_=_=_

Jensen was lying on his back, naked, sprawled across Jared’s bed. His head was resting on Jared’s thigh. It wasn’t the most comfortable position but he had no energy left to move. 

Jared had spent over an hour teaching Jensen the art of the blowjob and Jensen was a convert. He’s read about it, of course, he had, it just hadn’t seemed that appealing until the moment Jared’s warm lips had slipped over the head of his cock. 

“I wish I could stay longer,” Jensen said wearily. He’s been trying to avoid talking about their impending separation. The less it was spoken of out loud, the more unreal it seemed. 

Jared’s hand settled on the middle of Jensen’s chest. He was sitting against the wall, sweaty, flushed and looking gorgeous. “We still have a few more nights.”

“You know what I mean.”

Jared nodded and looked down. His fingers trailed down the center of Jensen’s torso until they trailed through the dusting of reddish-brown hair over his abs. “You’ll come back.”

“And how do you know that?” Jensen couldn’t help the smile that ended up on his face almost every time he looked at Jared. 

“Because I don’t think I know how to entertain the idea that you _won’t_.” Jared closed his eyes for a moment then blinked a few time. His fingers wandered lower, skimming the sensitive flesh of Jensen’s cock. 

Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip, Jensen groaned and rolled towards Jared. He mouthed at his partner’s abs and lapped at the salty skin. “I won’t be able to get up tomorrow if we do anything else.”

Long fingers encircled Jensen’s half hard cock. “You’re not having that much trouble getting up now.”

It was a stupid line, and Jensen chuckled but the dark undertone in Jared’s voice made Jensen’s breath hitch. He struggled to sit up and twisted into Jared’s body so their lips could meet in a gentle kiss. “Got anything else you want to teach me?”

“I think you can work things out for yourself,” Jared said. He looked down to where his hard shaft was trapped between their bodies. 

Jensen licked his lips. 

_=_=_=_

The community was almost silent as the two men left before the sun was up. They trudged into the darkness, pulling their scarves tight around their faces. 

Jensen was seeing the world through different eyes on the journey back to the Dome. He realized that he’s jumped ship quickly so he forgave himself for the duplicitous feelings he suffered. 

He couldn’t help wondering what he was going back to. He had no idea who his contact would be. He was leaving his Uncle after just beginning to get to know him again. And there was Jared. 

There had never been anyone like Jared before. 

As they trudged out into the more direct sunlight, leaving the relative safety of the rocky canyon, Jensen kept stealing sideways glances at Jared. 

Neither of them seemed to want to talk. Jensen didn’t know what he could say that would take the edge off the heaviness that seemed to have settled in them. They knew they were holding towards goodbye. As temporary as it might be, it still wasn’t going to feel good. 

So Jensen kept quiet as he walked. He did notice that, unlike their previous trip, Jared walked beside him. He liked that. 

He had four days and three nights to make more memories with Jared then there was no way to know what would happen.

-=-=-=-

“Three nights left,” Jensen said as he lay down next to Jared in the tent. The cold wind was roaring outside and, as stable as the tent was, it was shuddering and swaying a little.

“Don’t count down,” Jared said sharply.

They were both tired, and their emotions were pretty raw. Jensen forgave Jared instantly for the barbed tone. Instead of replying, he just lay down on his back and sighed as he stared up.

“I’m sorry,” Jared muttered. Before they’d left the Community they’d had the sleeping sacks reconfigured so they could convert them into one big enough to share. Jared shook the top cover out and spread it over Jensen.

Finally, Jared lay down on his back and they both laid there for a while.

The wind was still whipping at the tent and Jensen shivered slightly.

“You cold?”

“It’s psychological,” Jensen said. “It _sounds_ cold, don’t you think?”

“It does,” Jared answered. “You ever been in a storm?”

“I’ve never even seen one,” Jensen answered.

“What?” Jared propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at Jensen with wide eyes. “Never.”

“I grew up in the Dome, Jared. We have controlled weather.” Smiling, Jensen reached up to touch the mole beside Jared’s nose. He slid the tip of his finger along Jared’s cheek.

“What?”

“Making sure I can remember what you look like.” It was the truth. Jensen had developed a strange fear that once he’d been away from Jared for a while, he would slowly forget what he looked like. An image file would be too big a risk. It was strange. Jensen had never doubted his memory before.

“You’re making me miserable. I don’t want to be miserable. I want to enjoy our time together,” Jared said as he continued to look down at Jensen.

“Imagine that. Being miserable in a tent in the middle of a windstorm,” Jensen said fondly.

“You’re being a jerk,” Jared said as he flopped back down and nestled in beside Jensen. After a few moments of being faux-stubborn, he slid his arm around Jensen’s waist.

“It’s beautiful,” Jensen said.

“What is?” Jared rested his chin on Jensen’s shoulder.

“The wind. It sounds... alive.” The weather in the Dome never changed. It was perfectly controlled to keep the environment equally balanced. There was never any wind, no rain, no storms and no sunshine that was warm enough to make people shed their jackets.

“I hope we get rain before you go back inside.” Jared stretched up to press his lips just in front of Jensen’s ear. “The sound of the rain is one of the most peaceful things you’ll ever hear.”

The warm breath against his ear made Jensen forget about the wind and the tent and the fact that his feet ached from the miles of walking they had done. All he could think about was the heat that was radiating from the lean body lying beside him.

Rolling forward, Jensen pressed up flush to Jared’s chest and caught his mouth under his. Jared’s tongue slipped forward and then pushed into Jensen’s mouth.

_-_-_-_

The second day brought them to the outskirts of the collapsed city once again. Avoiding all the dangers of structures that were teetering on collapse, the two men made steady progress.

Around lunchtime, Jared went darting off onto a sandbank and returned with his hands cupped together.

Reluctantly, Jensen peered into Jared’s outstretched hands to find himself looking down at a disgusting creature. It’s long, spindly legs were opaque and its body was like a blob of cloudy jelly. He had take a step back quickly.

After having proudly exclaimed that his captive was a camel spider, Jared had turned and let it go.

Jensen had made sure they walked in the opposite direction to the fleeing spider.

Jared’s amusement lasted well into the afternoon. For his part, Jensen found that his gaze kept wandering towards the periphery of his vision if he thought he saw something scampering away.

Before they stopped for the evening, Jared took them on a short side trip into one of the less decrepit areas of the degrading city. He told Jensen that he’d been there before, that he liked it because it was a little hint at what the world must have been like in the past.

There was a long building that was only crumbling at one end. At the opposite end of the building, Jared had disappeared through a partially collapsed doorframe.

After the slightest hesitation, Jensen has groaned and followed. Once his eyes had adjusted to the darkness inside, Jensen blinked a few times and looked around.

Jared had explained that it was a place where people used to shop. All the small cubicles has once been walled off with glass and each one had sold different things.

But Jared’s favorite part was the strange remains of a circular fountain. The design in the bottom had been sheltered from some of the harsh weather. There were small golden tiles lining the bottom. Some of them were scattered, broken by some something in the last.

It was beautiful and Jensen could almost imagine how the gold would have glimmered under the greenish water. The tile reminded Jensen of the color of Jared’s eyes.

Jared pressed one of the loose tiles into Jensen’s palm and curled his fingers around it before heading back outside. Each time Jensen slipped his hand into his pocket he found himself holding that tile and smoothing his thumb over its edges.

By the time they stopped for the second evening, Jensen was feeling more unsettled about his return. “There’s so much I don’t understand,” he’d begun as he tried to explain how he was feeling.

Jared poked at the Fire Capsule with a bleached stick and watched as the end of it caught fire. “You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. You’ll learn. You’re not going to be on your own, the operative will make contact with you as soon as they’re able.”

“What if they can’t? What if it’s not someone I can work with? God, what if-”

“Jensen! Whoa…” Jared turned on the outcropping of stone they were sitting on and leaned in to kiss the tension out of Jensen’s lips. “Relax and take a breath.”

“I - I’ve always known what was going to happen before.” 

“I get it, Jensen,” Jared said as he rested his hand over Jensen’s forearm. “This is huge. And it’s happening really fast. Days, Jensen. That’s all the time you’ve had to begin to figure all this out.”

“What if I’m too selfish for all of this?”

“Selfish? I think you’re the least selfish person that I know,” Jared said quickly.

“You don't really know me, Jared. Right now, I’m having pretty selfish thoughts about all of this. I want to just turn around and head back to stay with you.” Jensen grasped his hands together and looked down at them. He really wasn’t sure he was cut out for working with his Uncle.

“Okay,” Jared said firmly. “Listen.” He shifted around even further and curved his free hand against Jensen’s cheek. “Why did you get involved in the E.D.?”

Sighing, Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes. He hoped he could be worthy of _half_ the admiration he saw in the man’s eyes. “According to the video Jeff showed me, it was all set up.”

“Oh, come on.” Jared sounded a little exasperated. “They didn’t force you. You must have had a reason.”

“I thought it would help people,” Jensen said. “Great job I did there, I mean. I got it completely wrong.”

“You’re missing the point. Okay. So you were on the wrong road. Your instincts were _right_ . You wanted to help people and this is another way to do that.”

Everything Jared said made sense. Jensen just wished that he wouldn’t have to go through it alone. He’d give anything to be able to spend a few weeks learning from Jeff, trying to make more sense of everything.

The silence between them was filled only by the slight wind blowing around them and the occasional popping sound from the fire capsule. After a while, Jared looked back at the flames but he didn’t take his hand from Jensen’s arm. He might have even held on a little tighter.

“I won’t disappoint you,” Jensen said finally.

“I never doubted that for a second.”

-=-=-=-

Jensen was pressed up against Jared’s damp back. They were lying on their sides and Jensen was slowly rocking his hips back and forth. The tight heat of Jared’s ass fit Jensen’s cock like a glove.

One arm was under Jared’s neck, the other moving back and forth between Jared’s hip and his cock. Jensen couldn't stop tasting Jared’s neck, biting along his shoulder and licking at the nape of his neck.

He thrust forward, again and again. His breath was a rush of hot air. When he heard Jared moan, Jensen could feel his balls tighten. He got a loose grip on Jared’s cock and pumped it in the same rhythm as his hips.

The clench around Jensen’s cock felt even tighter and he let out a guttural moan as he felt the bubble of his release burst inside him. Hips jerking erratically, Jensen worked Jared’s cock until he felt the man’s body stiffen.

Jared quaked in Jensen’s embrace. Hot come splashed over Jensen’s hand and he let go of Jared’s cock.

“God,” Jared murmured. He turned his head clumsily until he could kiss Jensen’s palm. He panted against Jensen’s hand for a while then eased himself forward.

The cool air in the tent was a slight shock on Jensen’s over-sensitive skin after the heat of Jared’s body. Jensen shivered and that set off another wave of pleasure shifting through his body.

Grunting softly, Jared struggled to turn around so he was lying on his back. He rubbed a hand across his chest and sighed happily. “That was better than talking _all_ night.”

Laughing, Jensen reached behind him for once of the small disposable towels they had left out. After he wiped himself clean, he did the same for Jared then reached back to slide the towel into the Recycler. He flopped back down on the sleep sack, the last of his energy consumed. “I need sleep.”

Chuckling, Jared kissed the tip of Jensen’s nose.

It tickled and Jensen turned into the Sleep Sack to itch it. “Stop.”

Laughing a little louder, Jared nestled down until his nose was almost touching Jensen’s. “You’re older than me, right?”

“Yeah,” Jensen mumbled. “So?”

“Just askin’. You seem to get tired pretty easily.”

When Jensen opened his aching eyes, Jared was grinning like an idiot. Jensen rolled his eyes and snorted. “I’m not used to the air.”

“If you say so.”

“Don’t think you can shame me into staying awake.” The light-hearted banter made Jensen happy. Now that he was used to Jared’s teasing, he was enjoying it. He would miss the teasing too.

“Get your beauty sleep,” Jared whispered against Jensen’s lips.

Jensen returned the kiss fervently.

-=-=-=-

The last full day of walking seemed hotter than all the other days. The air was absolutely still and Jensen’s scarf was soaked with sweat by the time they had walked their first hour.

As miserable as the climate was, the time still seemed to be flying past. The journey back to the Dome seemed to be going much faster than Jensen had expected. He’d never understood that about time, and he appreciated it less than ever now that he had someone he didn’t want to leave.

-=-=-=-

Their last night together was somber. Jensen asked Jared a lot of questions. There were so many things he didn't know about Jared’s life. Answer by answer he learned more about the formula that had created someone like Jared. It was good.

They had sex right after they set up the tent. It was different. It was more tender, sweeter, slower. Jensen’s heart ached as their bodies moved together. When he came, it was with Jared’s name on his lips.

They emerged from the tent to eat and sat in silence for a long time. There really wasn’t much more they could say. They had tried to fit in everything they could.

When they finally went to sleep, they held on to each other tightly.

-=-=-=-


	7. Chapter 7

The maintenance hatch was _right_ in front of them and Jensen didn’t even want to look at it. It was only three steps away from him and it was the most monumental journey he would ever take. It was inconceivable to Jensen that a week earlier he wouldn’t have even believed that his life could be so different. 

As he stood there, eyes boring a hole through the hatch, Jensen fought every fiber in his body that was wanting to turn and walk the other way. It would be easy. He could just do an about face, take Jared's hand and start walking.

Jared's hand pressed against the small of Jensen's back. Even though his shirt and the scarf he could feel Jared's warmth. He would _miss_ that.

"It won't be _that_ long," Jared said near Jensen's ear. "I'm sure I can torment Jeff enough that he will come up with a reason to send me back here."

Jensen turned and wrapped his arms around Jared's shoulders. "You stay put. Jeff said he would take care of you."

"Really?" Jared rolled his eyes.

Jensen leaned back slightly so he could give Jared his best innocent look. "I just wanted to know that you'd be okay. Everyone has to have something to fight for, right?"

"I'm gonna forgive you for this because we're standing here in front of this stupid door." The look on Jared's face was a cross between sad and frustrated.

Jensen knew the feeling. He reached up and pulled Jared's scarf away from his mouth then pushed up onto his toes so he could kiss Jared. He knew he wasn't going to have the right words so he hoped the lingering pass of his lips would tell Jared everything he needed to know.

When they finally stepped apart, Jensen's chest felt like it had a steel band wrapped around it. He blew out a breath and unwound his scarf and pulled it off. "This is hard."

Furrows appeared in Jared's brow. "Going back in the Dome?"

"Leaving you." Jensen's eyes were burning slightly and he squeezed them shut for a few moments. When the burn abated slightly, he opened them again and smiled. He set his hand over Jared's heart. "You take care on the way back."

"I'm going to stay near the first abandoned building. I told Jeff I would stay an extra twenty-four hours. If anything doesn't feel right, if things go south, you get out of there and come and find me."

Not trusting his voice, Jensen nodded. He stood there as his heart thundered in his chest and his mind tried to sort through everything that had happened and all the might be yet to come.

The pain in his chest throbbed and Jensen leaned in to crush his mouth against Jared's. Never in his life had he felt such desperation to hold on to someone. It almost felt as though the moment their lips parted, he began to lose Jared.

Finally, needing air more than anything else, Jensen broke from the kiss. He pressed his forehead to Jared's and closed his eyes again.

Jared's hands were fisted in Jensen's shirt, his knuckles white with the tension of his grip. "Please… be careful."

"You too." Throat aching, Jensen pressed one softer kiss to Jared's lips and turned away.

Jensen tapped the code into the panel by the hatch, watched the door open and stepped inside.

He turned back in time to see the door slide closed in front of Jared.

It was the first time in Jensen's entire life that he felt utterly alone.

-=-=-=-

With each day that passed by, Jensen's world seemed to become a little bit closer to normal. He had logged himself onto the grid as soon as he was back at his quarters. From that moment it had been one challenging footstep after another.

Over the course of the first few days, he received a worried communication from Danneel. There was a message from his sister outlining her usual frustrations with school. Then he had received a warning that he had missed reporting in and was facing a hearing that may result in a reprimand.

It was the kind of mistake a student fresh out of the Academy would make. Whenever Jensen was off-grid for more than twenty-four hours, he was required to submit a report.

His routine had been thrown off completely. All he'd been thinking about was Jared, his Uncle, Cindy and all the other people he was missing.

Now, he was facing a meeting with Director Rhodes. Even though it would be the first blemish on his record, it certainly wasn't good. Keeping his rank in the E.D. was important and that was reliant on his attention to detail.

His nerves had begun to be more and more rattled as he'd stepped off the Glide Train and looked up at the Church. It had never seemed imposing before.

He headed inside, alert, aware that anyone he encountered could be the operative destined to help him complete his mission.

 _Just like being undercover,_ he assured himself. His cover for the time he was off-grid was that the case he had been working on in the Fringe had presented an opportunity for Jensen to travel just outside the Dome to infiltrate a smuggling ring. There was no point in him lying about being in the Outland. As soon as he’d returned, he'd had a medical that resulted in anti-radiation treatment. He still owed Danneel a more thorough explanation, but she was patient.

Jensen smoothed his hair down and waited outside the office of the Director. After about a minute, the door swished open.

"Afternoon, Ackles."

"Ma'am." Jensen looked around the room and felt a significant amount of relief that there were no other Officers present.

"Have a seat." Director Rhodes gestured towards the chair in front of her desk.

Jensen took a deep breath and paced over to the chair to sit. "Ma'am, I can explain about being off-grid. My message to you wasn't clear because of-"

"-Ackles, I think this is the stage at which you should be _listening_ , not speaking," Rhodes interrupted.

Pressing his lips together tightly, Jensen nodded once and clasped his hands in his lap. He concentrated on looking calm and relaxed his shoulders.

"You were off-grid without notice. You didn't appear back on-grid until you returned to your quarters. Your medical showed low-level radiation exposure and then on top of all that; you failed to file your report as per regulations."

"Yes, Ma'am," Jensen said stiffly. Irritation was stinging at him; he just wanted to give Rhodes the report he had come up with and get the _hell_ out of there.

"The message you sent indicated that something significant was happening in terms of the case you were working on. Because you were undercover, we should discuss this in a safe environment." The Director leaned back in her chair and sighed. She tilted her head slightly and her brown eyes narrowed as she watched Jensen. 

Finally, she sighed and sat forward. "Rhodes, Kim, Director E.D. Isolate room. Sequester protocol Alpha."

Jensen looked up as the light overhead flickered. A slight buzzing sound began and he looked over at the window.

"Ackles?"

Jensen's eyes snapped to the Director's. 

"Do you ever wonder what the sky looks like outside the Dome?"

Jensen's lips parted slightly and his eyes widened. _The Director of the E.D._

Rhodes raised an eyebrow.

"Oh. Sometimes, but the grass is always greener," Jensen said quietly. Shock was still ringing through him. The Director.

"We're able to use the sequester protocol for about five minutes, Jensen. And not very often at that."

"I can't believe it's you," Jensen said quietly. He tilted his head slightly as though, somehow, looking at Rhodes in a different way would mean that he could see something that should have been a clue to her allegiance.

"You better get over that quickly," Rhodes said fondly. "You and I have our work cut out for us here. I'm sure you know that."

"I do. I have the Code that you requested," Jensen said.

"Good. I _almost_ have a cover for getting you and I both into the Security section. I'll send you a direct communication when I have things worked out." Rhodes leaned back again and rested her hands on her desk. "Jeff and I have brought someone else onto the team to enable you to have back up in the field."

"Who? How could you have set that up so quickly?" Some of Jensen's hesitancy about working with the Blue Dove was coming back to him. Any exposure to new people could be a risk for either of them.

"You know I'm in contact with Jeff. He's arranged for someone to be fast-tracked from the Academy. Based on their scores, I'm sure that you'll work well with them. In fact, I've assigned him to share your quarters."

"My quarters? Director, that's usually the task of first and second-year Enforcers. You know that I'm going to be busy with my new tasks. Is this really a good idea?"

"Yes, Ackles. It is. Are you going to question every decision I make? Just because you're working for a different organization now doesn't change the fact that I have authority over you in both."

For a moment, Jensen thought that he was going to be on the receiving end of a tirade, then he realized there was amusement in the Director's eyes. "I'm just getting used to everything."

"I know. Trust me, this will be a good maneuver. It was to enable you and this new fellow to get to know each other. If you're going to be relying on each other during this process then we need to make sure there's trust there."

"I'll do my best, Director." Jensen wasn't entirely sure it was a good idea to have two operatives living together in the same quarters. It wouldn't attract attention, though. New Academy graduates often shadowed Key Enforcers.

"Status Quo until I contact you. I'll have a game plan then," Rhodes said quickly. She watched until Jensen nodded. "Rhodes, Kim, Director E.D. Cancel Sequester Protocol Alpha."

The overhead light dimmed once more and the Director stood. “This happens again and you’re going to be knocked down in rank so fast that your head will spin. You’re lucky this has resulted in an arrest. Get out of here.”

Jensen’s eyes widened. It didn’t matter that he knew the anger was a ruse, he had always suspected that being on the wrong side of the Director would be a very unfortunate circumstance.”Yes, Ma’am. I'm sorry Ma’am.” 

Scrambling to his feet as quickly as he could, Jensen hurried out of the office. His heart was still racing.

-=-=-=-

Jensen walked up to the door of his quarters to trigger the sensor. The door swished open and he strode inside. He had looked forward to being back at home all day; it was the one place that he felt he could be himself without the scrutiny of others.

“I wasn’t sure you were ever going to come back here,” a voice said from the area of the couch.

Adrenaline shot into Jensen’s veins; he spun and pulled his weapon. His gaze settled on a familiar face. “Jared?”

Jared stood and straightened his uniform. “How do I look?”

“What are you doing here?” The weapon wavered in Jensen’s hand and he realized he still had it aimed at his partner’s chest.

Smiling, Jared took a step closer. “Well, it seems when you and I changed Jeff’s plans he had to think on his feet. I got a message delivered to me via-”

Tossing his weapon aside, Jensen flew towards Jared and their mouths slammed together. For a moment or two it was all out of control, then Jensen slid his fingers into Jared’s hair. His movements slowed as his heart began to beat faster; he brushed his lips across Jared’s and slid his tongue forward. The taste of Jared was familiar and exotic at the same time and it made Jensen’s head spin. He slid his hands down Jared’s face, across his shoulders, and down his chest. “You’re here.”

Nodding, Jared took a deep breath and curled a hand over Jensen’s hip.

"Kim sent someone out to find me. It took her and Jeff some time to work it out. But, they were able to get me the documentation I needed." Jared smiled.

"And here you are." Jensen still couldn't believe it.

"A proud graduate of the Academy. Fake, of course, which means that you'll need to give me a crash course in… well, nearly everything."

The smile on Jared's face was contagious and Jensen shook his head slowly as his lips curled up into a warm smile.

"I live here now," Jared said brightly.

"You live here now." Jensen rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip. "Things have… well, they've changed a lot since this morning."

Laughing softly, Jared gestured to the bag on the end of the couch. "You gonna show me where I can put some things?"

Nodding, Jensen kissed Jared's cheek then smiled even wider. "Gladly."

"This is good, right?" Jared's fingers encircled Jensen's wrist and he ducked his head down slightly so he could peer at Jensen from under his lashes.

"It's very good." Jensen moved closer to Jared and took a deep breath. "It's _very_ good."

Things were changing. More things were going to change.

The way it felt to be able to reach out and slide his fingers over Jared's hip… well, that was going to stay very much the same.

THE END!


End file.
